Everyday Happiness - Finding Harmony and Bliss

589-What I learned During My Christmas Sabbatical

Well friends, it may not be what you think.  THere was some reflection and insights for sure.  Buckle up, this is a super authentic episode.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and back at episode 547 I mentioned that I was craving a change-up and we’d be enjoying amazing guests on the show for the month of December.  It was it so much fun to be a listener of Everyday Happiness and not hear my own voice.  

 

Getting to that point was laborious.  It was a lot of time and effort on my team, but then, as we settled into December, it did feel like the business calm we were all craving had arrived in the background of the holiday crazies.   

 

Taking a step back to truly be in the moment was the goal I was after in December.  That was the intent.  You know I love some twinkle lights, Christmas jammies and holiday cheer.  

 

Well, I learned how much I love and missed recording this show.  But more importantly, I realized how much happiness is a habit that we need to practice.  Don’t get me wrong, I indulged in all the things that make me happy, including Christmas jammies, champagne and lots of social connection.  Which are all great things for me.   But during some reflection, it is the foundational happiness habits that are really upleveling my happiness and it starts with our awareness.  

 

That’s why, before I was even convinced of the science, I knew in my gut that this podcast had to be short and daily. Because as humans we create habits, good or bad.  Our habits are what supports us to flex that happiness muscle with ease and grace. 

 

So my December intent was to indulge in social connection and live it up - which I thought would just burst my happiness bubble.  The reality was a little different.   The first two weeks of December I scheduled something for almost every night of the week.  All fun things. All things I was very excited about putting on the calendar.   And after about 8 days, I was exhausted and wanted to be in my christmas jammies at 6:00pm.  I ended up postponing some of my plans in week 2 and week 3, because I had way over scheduled my social calendar.  I found there was too much social connection, which is still hard for me to believe. 

 

Then, the week before Christmas the children were out of school and we did a family road trip.  We went up North, which I will have to share all the details in tomorrow’s episode, it’s too much to share today.  But this time, we had very little scheduled and we could just be.  Be present with the kids.  We played games by the fire in the hotel lobby, listening to live music, sipping holiday drinks and hot coco.  I finally got the desired effect I was looking for. Just to “be”.    

 

A week later we were back at home, Annabelle and I cooking for Christmas Eve and wrapping last minute presents from Santa and it felt right.  We played more board games and watched Christmas movies and didn’t really leave the house.  It was perfect for us in this season of life. 

 

So, what I learned is that my intuition was telling me to slow down and when I did, the Universe felt allied.  I also learned that while I love social connection, it just can’t be back to back every night of the week.  And in this season of my life, it can’t be at the expense of spending quality time with the children.  And, what was even more fascinating was that my body craves more quiet time than it once did.  

 

So I will take these insights into next year, make a note and when I am looking at Q4 in 2023 and all that it has to offer, I’ll remember these feelings and hopefully we can navigate another holiday season with ease and grace. 

 

Until next time, kindness is contagious. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

588-10 Minutes of Meditation

Are you feeling overwhelmed and lacking inspiration? In this episode of Everyday Happiness, we discuss how just a few minutes of meditation a day may just get you out of your slump. Tune in to learn how! 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and today I want to talk to you about meditation. But first, let’s address the fact that as an individual in society right now, we have our plates heaping full. Not only are we expected to have a job and a side hustle, but we are also somehow supposed to manage a home, a family, social circles, financial planning, volunteering, and continuing to learn while also keeping ourselves healthy through exercise, diet, sleeping well, and so much more. 

 

Add on extreme external climates such as the pandemic, political uncertainty, inflation, and a host of other concerns; it can leave us, myself included, feeling stressed and completely overwhelmed. It can be hard to dig deep for creativity when you already feel like your plate is flowing over. I’ve felt it before, and I am sure you have too!

 

So, what should we do? I was reading an article from Harvard Business Review about how just 10 minutes of meditation a day can make you more creative. Their experiments found that taking just a few minutes to meditate allowed them to mitigate stress, regulate emotions, and have a more positive outlook on situations, which in turn allowed them to switch gears, think more creatively, and critically problem-solve.

 

If you are finding yourself struggling to focus or constantly feeling overwhelmed, I encourage you to add 10 minutes as an Intentional Margin for your day. Earnestly try it out to see if it has an impact on you and your mental state. It certainly isn’t easy, but it will be worth it if the effects are profound for you.

 

As a side note, one of my teammates introduced me to a song called Adult by Ian McConnel that fully and hilariously encompasses the whole first part of my episode. Check out the link in the show notes!

 Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

 

Inspired by these articles:

Harvard Business Review Article: https://hbr.org/2017/08/can-10-minutes-of-meditation-make-you-more-creative

Adult by Ian McConnel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkXC6qEB0qU

 

587-Beating the Winter Blues

Do you ever feel gloomy in the winter? Does your happiness sap away with each gray day? In this episode of Everyday Happiness, we discuss how to beat the winter blues!

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and I don’t know about you, but I tend to get cooped up during the winter. Those long gray days seem to pile on each other until I get cabin fever. One of my teammates grew up in Seattle, where SAD (seasonal affective disorder) hit a large part of the population. Many people got the blues and found themselves sinking into slumps. While many believe that winter is the time to curl up next to the fire and be lazy, and it can be in part, there are so many fun winter activities that you can partake in to beat the winter blues.

 

Today, I want to share with you just a few ideas on how to get out of the house and kick those blues to the curb.

 

First, literally, get outside. You can still head outside for a brief walk on rainy or snowy days. If you do get some snow, I encourage you to play in it. Whether that means making a snowman or snowwoman, making snow angels, or sledding it, do it. If you are interested in winter snow sports, such as ice hockey, skating, skiing, or snowboarding, make it a priority to get to the rink or the slopes at least three times during the winter season!

 

Second, try something new! There will be days when the weather is beyond gloomy, and staying inside is the best choice, but that “inside” doesn’t have to be your home. I encourage you to find a new adventure to try. Maybe it is an exhibit at a local museum, getting tickets to a sporting event, or seeing a play. With so many crazy and wild things to do in the world, I guarantee you can find something you have never tried before.

 

Third, build your social bonds. During the winter, it can be hard to connect with others. After the holidays, people are burnt out on peopling and are often deep into their new year’s goals. However, I encourage you to make an effort to build those social connections. Perhaps you host a potluck, organize a progressive dinner party, make a weekly coffee date with a friend, or even pick up the phone to call a loved one. While it may seem small, the impact will be huge!

 

That’s all for now! In the comments, let me know what activities you enjoy doing to beat the winter blues! And remember, Kindness is Contagious. Making a positive impact in your community is a great way to boost your happiness this winter. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

586-Seizing Happiness

There are moments in life when happiness takes us by surprise. This episode is a reminder of how to take advantage of those precious moments. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and today I want to share a quote with you by Ashley Montagu, a British-American anthropologist. He said, "The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us."

 

This episode isn’t going to be a lesson or a set of tips. Today is a reminder to let happiness find you when you least expect it.

 

I know that there have been times in my life when I have been pleasantly surprised by a random circumstance. I could be staring at the waves of the beach, closing my eyes to inhale the sweet scent of a flower, or relaxing into a tight hug. Happiness doesn’t always exist because we manifest it but because we embrace it when it presents itself.

 

Therefore, I want to remind you to embrace these wholesome moments. You never know when the next one will arrive, so when they do appear, sink into them for a minute, even if you are busy. Let yourself listen to the waves for 10 minutes, take an extra breath or two of the sweet air, or hold your loved one even tighter.

 

And remember, kindness is contagious. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

585-Does Singing Make You Happy?

Do you love to sing in the shower, in your car, or on a stage? Whether you have the voice of an angel or a cat stuck in a bag, singing may just bring happiness. Tune in today to find out if singing will make you happier. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and when was the last time you belted out a tune? All the singing that came with the holiday made me wonder if singing makes us happy. Research points to yes!

Apparently, there are multiple reasons as to why singing makes us happy. First, let’s talk about the physical benefits. Singing is believed to release endorphins to the brain, which, as you know, is a feel-good mood booster.

Additionally, the act of singing is aerobic in nature; you have to take big breaths to get out all those notes, which in turn introduces more oxygen to the blood for better circulation. Plus, those big breaths help the body to relax physically; breathing deeply is one of the most common relaxation techniques, after all.

Now, let’s talk about mental health benefits. A 1998 study found that singing helped to reduce anxiety and depression. Some believe this is because the art of singing takes concentration; it is hard to think of your woes while singing a happy song. It is seen as a form of meditation where the singer can disengage from negative feedback loops and reintroduce more optimistic thoughts.

Others believe it is the act of learning through singing, such as attempting to memorize the harmony or lyrics, that makes us happy. As we’ve talked about before, studies demonstrate that learning can improve our moods.

Finally, let’s talk about emotional benefits. Those who choose to sing in groups, whether in a choir, in a class, or at karaoke night, experience greater social bonding with the other participants. Those social connections improve our emotional state and can provide long-lasting benefits if we create and keep up with newly formed friendships.

Now, you may be thinking….”Katie, I sound like a cat trapped in a bag when I sing!” No worries; whether you are a good singer or not doesn’t matter. As long as you sing in a space where you feel comfortable, you can receive all the benefits listed above.

So, whether you are the type to belt out a tune in the shower or your car, or whether you want to get up on stage and sing for an audience, do it! It may just improve your happiness.

 Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

 

Inspired by this article: https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/singing-happy2.htm

584-Happiness from Taylor Swift

In this episode of Everyday Happiness, we dive into a song written by the legendary Taylor Swift to see how happiness can be found before and after negative events happen. Tune in to find out!

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and I recently listened to a Taylor Swift song called Happiness. Have you ever heard it? It certainly wasn’t what I expected when I listened to it, but I enjoyed the message that Swift conveyed. The chorus stuck out to me, and while I won’t sing it for you, you can find the song in the show notes; I will tell them to you here:

“There'll be happiness after you

But there was happiness because of you

Both of these things can be true

There is happiness”

Essentially, Swift sang a beautiful song describing how she recognizes that there will be happiness after a bad breakup, but that there was also happiness during the relationship. This song reminded me of Chapter 6 in Sonya Lyubomirsky’s book, How of Happiness, where she covered managing stress, hardship, and trauma. As she says, “no life- if we live long enough- is without stress, adversity or crisis.”

There are various strategies one can employ when dealing with hardships. Some look to the hardship as a lesson, something they can benefit from in the long run. Some look to it for meaning, for the reason that was beyond our control but must be accepted as a fact of life. From her song, I thought it was admirable that Swift recognized that even though we face situations that may not be expected or are pleasant, we can find happiness afterward and, hopefully, remember the happiness that happened before.

So, if you are facing a challenging time, I encourage you to find the silver lining and remember that happiness will come again. Additionally, remember to seek help and friendship should you need it; you never have to bear the weight of the world on your shoulders alone. 

You can listen to Taylor Swift’s song “happiness” here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP4TTgt4nb0

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

583-How We Shouldn’t Savor Through Writing

A tale of caution for writing happy moments…they can actually make you sad! Tune in to Everyday Happiness to learn why that is and what you should do about it!

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and today I want to bounce back to Sonya Lyubomirsky’s book The How of Happiness for a second. Here on Everyday Happiness, we talk about writing gratitude lists and using writing as a form of happiness. As I thumbed through the pages, I paused on a note that had honestly slipped my mind, Sonya’s cautionary note on writing.

She says that while utilizing writing to foster gratitude and process negative feelings is all well and good, we shouldn’t use it to savor or relish the present. Her research has shown that writing is an inherently structured process that forces the mind to create a systematic narrative. While this is excellent for making sense of traumatic events and encouraging individuals to push past negative feedback loops, we don’t need to do that with happy feelings. Right? You don’t want to move past happy feelings; you want to hold on to them.

However, when you write about these happy feelings, it forces you to analyze them systematically. At worst, you may end up finding something in that process that makes you feel negative emotions, putting an end to that happy memory. At best, it will decrease your pleasure in the memory.

So, what should we do instead? Sonya advises that the best way to savor positive moments in the present is to reflect on the memory within your mind, relish those good feelings, and share them verbally with others.

Does this mean that we shouldn’t write gratitude lists? You should absolutely write them if they make you happy. But keep them short and sweet, not a novel. As for your daily diary, try to skip turning a happy memory into a story. Make a quick bullet point or note, and save the long-winded writing for negative emotional processing.

Until next time, remember that kindness is contagious. Spread some love today by visiting our Kindness Card Shop! 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

582-Do You Have A Word Of The Year?

Have you ever been curious about words of the year? In this episode of Everyday Happiness, we discuss the history of words of the year and how we chose them. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and after all the chatter about resolutions, I wanted to pivot and have a conversation about another concept:  Word of the Year. 

 

This concept started by the Oxford dictionary choosing a word of the year.  Oxford editors track trending words and phrases as they rise during the calendar year.  This year, in 2022, Oxford opened up the voting to the public and we chose “goblin mode.” The term is defined as “a type of behavior which is unapologetically self-indulgent, lazy, slovenly or greedy, typically in a way that rejects social norms or expectations,”   I guess I need to brush up on the English language because I had not heard of this word.

 

Last year’s winner was “vax,” and other past winners include “selfie” in 2013 and “climate emergency” in 2019.  

 

Merriam-Webster also announced its pick for 2022 word of the year, it is “gaslighting.”  

 

All this to say that people are now using this concept to choose their own word of the year as an alternative to creating a New Year's resolution. They are thinking about words they want to embody in the coming year, using them as a filter or guardrail to keep them on track. 

 

I like the word of the year.  In fact, in my community we all discussed our words, from growth, care, sustainable, bloom, space, nurture and so many more. 

 

Perhaps if making a resolution doesn’t light your fair on fire, maybe a single word feels more doable and approachable. 

 

Give it a whirl, think about this concept today and see if a word comes to mind. Until next time, remember, Kindness is Contagious. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

581-Making the Kindness Movement a New Year’s Resolution

What would the world be like if everyone made kindness their New Year’s resolution? Today, we dive into the Kindness Movement being used as a pillar for your resolutions for 2023!

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and after the past two episodes, it got me thinking about what New Year’s resolutions I want to pursue in 2023 and what I should advocate for others to consider adding to their resolutions.

 

What if we made being kinder to others our New Year’s resolution?

 

With so many possibilities for being kind, this would be an easy goal to pursue and succeed in, all while positively impacting the world. Say, for example, you decide to perform one intentional act of kindness for someone else each week. You could:

 

-          Volunteer at a local charity

-          Make dinner for an elderly neighbor

-          Give your neighbor an unexpected gift

-          Buy a coffee for the person behind you in line

-          Leave an extra large tip for a server

-          Leave quarters at the laundromat

-          Donate blood

-          And, of course, send a loved one a kindness card

 

It could also be as simple as:

• Sharing more smiles when you are out and about 
• Being intentionally kind to the barista at your favorite coffee shop, verbally sharing your appreciation for that triple white non-fat mocha with 2 Splenda and no whip 
• Saying thank you to the delivery driver of all those Amazon packages 
• Actively showing empathy to the store clerk or airline worker that is doing the best they can 

 

I could keep talking forever about all the kind things that we can do for each other, but I’m sure you can too! If we were to set a goal of performing one random act of kindness, making it an Intentional Margin in our lives, just think of how much good we could spread to the world. And remember, kindness is contagious!  

 

I invite you to keep a kindness journal or even a note on your phone so that you can record your acts of kindness and revisit your list every week. This practice might even excite you to perform even more acts of kindness this year than you ever thought possible. And that’s pretty exciting.  Today is a great day to start.  Until next time, go out and create your ripple of kindness. 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

 

580-Why We Fail at Our Resolutions and How to Fix It

Most people fail at their New Year’s resolutions…a sad truth. In this episode,we discuss why the failure is so high and how you can become one of the success stories!

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and yesterday we discussed the history of New Year’s resolutions and the sad fact that only 9 to 12% of people actually keep their New Year’s resolutions…even when 52% of people thought that they would be successful.

 

The reason why many people fail to stick with their New Year’s resolutions is that they had too many goals, the goals they had were too lofty, they forgot about their goals, or they didn’t have the skillset or tools needed to actually do them. Obviously, when we fail in our goals, that doesn’t feel good. It can leave us feeling worse than when we set them and can even heighten the bad habits we were trying to expunge.

 

So, how should we set our New Year’s resolutions?

 

First, be super specific with WHAT you want. Let’s look at the common goal of weight loss. When designing your goal, you shouldn’t use the blanket statement “I want to lose weight.” Instead, be specific and say something like, “I will lose 26 pounds by the end of the year, half a pound each week.”

 

Second, be clear on HOW you plan to achieve your goal realistically and how you will monitor your progress. For example, “I will lose weight by implementing exercise for 30 minutes, 3 times a week, and maybe a specific eating practice, and I will monitor my progress with an exercise journal.”

 

Third, be honest with yourself about WHY you want to pursue this goal. People often set lofty goals but don’t have that light-your-hair-on-fire motivation. You need a powerful why behind your resolution, like “I want to play more with my daughter, ” “I don’t want to get on cholesterol medication,” or “I want to feel healthier.”

 

Remember, your New Year’s goal doesn’t have to be the standard lose weight or make more money. Instead, it can be an internal emotional or mental goal, such as being more grateful, providing forgiveness, or pursuing social bonds that may have gotten left behind. I encourage you to look at what you need most rather than what you want or what society tells you you should want.

 

To gain better insight into my own reflections, I created the Reflections and Intentions fillable printable resource because I needed it. I needed a clean and thoughtful place with prompts and a scorecard to pat myself on my back and use those Intentional Margins to think about how I want to be intentional in walking through this next year. If you want your free copy, hit the link in my show notes. 

 

Get your Reflections & Intentions Printable here: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/reflections-intentions

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/