Everyday Happiness - Finding Harmony and Bliss

44-Are Extroverts Happier?

If “blondes have more fun” (which we know is not actually true), then are extroverts happier?  Hmm… I’m married to an introvert and this last year has brought out some of my own introvert tendencies, but I’m an extrovert by nature and I’m pretty happy, so what’s the answer? We discuss this question in today’s episode.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been thinking, you know the saying “blondes have more fun”, well, are extroverts happier? 

 

They might be.  You would think it’s because they are around other people and that makes them happier, but what the science says is that it’s because they are around other people AND they are talking about the future and happy things, things that makes them happy.  

 

Society rewards extroverts, leadership roles, they do well in evaluations for work and that makes them pretty happy. 

 

Introverts actually tend to make better decisions, they are more thoughtful.  They don’t shoot from the hip the same way that extraverts can.  Generalizing of course.  

 

Introverts have a few really close friends that they cultivate and have intimate conversations with.  

 

 

While, extroverts on average, have trouble committing to these few deep friendships because we are always out looking for something new. We like to talk about the exciting future.  We like to will good things in our life.  

 

If introverts can express the exciting future and if extroverts can just slow down, regardless of which side you fall on, you can increase your happiness. 

 

So, are you an introvert or an extrovert?  Does that give you any ah-ha take-aways?  DM me on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and let me know.  

 

43-Happiness Guilt

Have you ever been so happy you’ve felt guilty for it?  When we feel so happy we could burst, but others are so sad, what should we do?  This is the question I asked myself today. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was wondering, have you ever been so happy you’ve felt guilty for it?  I mean, there are starving children.  Millions of people are suffering, there is job loss, poor health, so much suffering.  Yet, you seem pretty happy on this hypothetical happiness scale.  You almost don't want to tell people how good you are feeling. 

 

As crazy as this sounds, going down the rabbit hole of anger and despair, even for the most righteous causes, only puts you in a doom and gloom and that is not helpful or productive for yourself and the people around you.  

 

Happiness is often something we work toward everyday.  We choose happiness.  Through an Arthur Brook’s article, I was introduced to the work of one of the first great Hindu monks to come to the West, Paramhansa Yogananda.  He said “Learn to be secretly happy within your heart in spite of all circumstances, and say to yourself: Happiness is the greatest Divine birthright—the buried treasure of my Soul.” 

 

Arthur Brooks would take it even further and say “share your buried treasure with those around you.” 

 

Whether you believe in thought leaders from a century ago or the relevant research today, or you just have a gut feeling that happiness is the key that unlocks so much fulfillment, then you already know that there is no need to keep your happiness secret, suppress it, or bury it under complaints and outrage. 

 

The research is overwhelmingly clear, sharing happiness with others improves both your life and the lives around you.     

 

So share what you are happy about and use the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram so we can cheer you on. 

 

42-It’s Kindness Day

Kindness not only boosts the happiness of the person you are kind too, but also it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  Will you share kindness with someone today?

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and sometimes you just need a restart.  So today, it’s kindness day.   When you show gratitude for others and show kindness, it not only serves them - who doesn’t like a pat on the back - but it also boosts your happiness.  

 

Today, this one is short and sweet.  Send good vibes! Go out and spread the kindness.  

 

If you are really excited, share this alexa briefing and mico-podcast with friends.  Tag us so we can highlight you on social media.  Share your kindness activity with us on Instagram so we can all celebrate the kindness.  We’re on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #EverydayHappinessWithKatie 

 

 

41-Bad Day Blues

Sometimes, we just have a bad day.  This doesn’t mean that we are unhappy people.  Happiness is just one of the many emotions we get to experience.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and sometimes, we just have a bad day.  This doesn’t mean that we are unhappy people.  Happiness is just one of the many emotions we get to experience, throughout our day, or week, the month.   It’s healthy to ebb and flow.  It would be very weird to be happy all the time. 

 

My DNA, which we know is the baseline for about 50% of happiness, if really high.  I am a glass ½ dull kinda person every single time.  But the other day, I was just, well, blah.  I wasn’t happy or sad or angry or upset.  I couldn’t name my emotion except that is was blah and that was turning into ambivalence toward my work, lack of inspiration to create, and lack of motivation to push through this feeling of blah.  

 

So, I walked out of my office, turned on a home design show on Netflix, invited my daughter to watch it with me (core value of  connection + family), and just did that.  Yes, I am fully aware that taking any time off midday is an incredible luxury given the economic challenges millions face.  It’s something I do not take lightly or for granted.   

 

I am sharing this with you because I want you to ask yourself, what could you do?  Sometimes, it’s just leaning into that feeling, having confidence that it too shall pass.   Now, I’m not a doctor, if you are struggling with feelings of low mood, consider contacting a health professional.  

 

And, I hope the next time you have a bad day or a off-mood, you know you’re not alone and the feelings will pass.  I’m rooting for you.  

 

 

40-No Control Of The Chaos

I was chatting with a friend the other day that was feeling out of control.  She was checking all the todo boxes, but she wasn’t feeling fulfilled.  Has that ever happened to you?  What we find is that checking off the todo list does not bring us the fulfillment we’re after.  

 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was talking with a friend the other day about just how busy her schedule was and how she didn’t think she had a free moment to savor an experience, identify her North star, or just take a deep breath. She was time famished and it was affecting her happiness and daily satisfaction.  You see, she was checking all the todo boxes, but she wasn’t feeling fulfilled.  Has that ever happened to you?  What we find is that checking off the todo list does not bring us the fulfillment we’re after.  

 

We can hack this feeling of busyness by prioritizing something calm and fulfilling for you.  This could be a cup of coffee in the morning before anyone else wakes up, perhaps with a book or just time with your own thoughts.  Even meditation.  Now, I’ll admit, for me, waking up early during the summer is harder - but I know how good it is for my day.  But, because sleep is my number one priority, I need to back out what time I want to wake up with what time I want to fall asleep.   It’s all connected. 

 

The point is that we have some choice.  Whether we think we do right now or not.  When we take agency for ourselves, our happiness grows.  Take a deep breath friend, where are your 5 minutes of time confetti today?  Maybe it’s even longer? 

 

Share with me over on Instagram DMs @everydayhappinesswithkatie  

 

39-How Do I Live In My Priorities?

Once you identify what your priorities are, how do you make sure your actions are reflecting how you want to live your life? This episode walks through how they show up for me, hoping that it will inspire you. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and yesterday I mentioned my 5 North Star priorities.  The things that are top of mind as I go through my day, but also as I think about my free time.  This is going to be different for everyone, but my hope in giving you a glimpse into my life will inspire you to look inward and think about your own life.   What I’ve found is that living a fulfilling life is so multifaceted and this is just one way I keep myself in check. 

So my top 5 priorities are: 

1. Sleep 
2. My husband 
3. My kids 
4. Connection & Relationships 
5. My Businesses 

This shows up in usually going to bed early.  My kids tease me.  I’ll admit, it’s harder in the summertime.  

 

Next, I’ve decided, I’ve literally put a steak in the ground that my marriage always takes priority.  Unless I’m not getting enough sleep, because we all know, I need sleep.  So that looks like 15-minutes to sit and have coffee when my husband is working from home (I tell him it’s a shorter commute) or it’s a long walk or an evening out. It could be a quarterly weekend away.  

 

Next my kids.  And this shows up to be available for their interests. 

 

Connection is pretty self explanatory, when we have human connection with people that lift us up, we’re happier.  This can be in person, on the phone, even a video chat.  I make sure that I have a connection built into every day in my calendar.   

 

And finally on this list of 5 is my business.  This doesn’t mean that the business is last, it just means that when everything else is aligned, the business will thrive.  

 

I’m curious, what would be your North Star? How would you accomplish it? DM me on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and let me know.  Share your north star priority on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram. 

 

38-What Is Your North Star?

No one needs all-the-things, just the things that are fulfilling to them.  But if you don’t know what that is, you feel stuck on the hamster wheel of todos.   

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we’re chatting about identifying your north star as an exercise to help us think about what our priorities are so that we can use our Intentional Margins® in our day to live in fulfillment of those priorities.  

 

No one needs all-the-things, just the things that are fulfilling to them.  But if you don’t know what that is, you feel stuck on the hamster wheel of todos.  

 

Today, I invite you to make a list of the things, the people, the relationships that matter most to you.  

 

Ask yourself, why are those things important to you? 

 

Then, ask yourself, is there time on my calendar to engage in these priorities? Can I carve out some time?  What would that look like? 

 

What you’ll come up with is your North Star list of priorities and your Intentional Margins®.  When you create harmony between your todos - all those things we know we have to get done - and your priorities, you start living in your Intentional Margins®.

 

For me, these North Star priorities are written in my planner for Quarter One.  I get a new planner every quarter and I re-evaluate (or add something in).  They are in the following order:

 

1. Sleep 
2. My husband 
3. My kids 
4. Connection & Relationships 
5. My Businesses 

 

I’m curious, what would be on your North Star list? DM me on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and let me know. 

 

 

37-Identifying Your Core Values Part-2

Perhaps we can make the time for our priorities when we lean into the idea that we have the ability to choose and we are clear on what our priorities are.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and yesterday we talked about identifying your core values by peeling the layers of what you already know brings you joy.  I used the example of brunch with friends, or something with others that brings you joy.  

 

Too often we have other people’s priorities on our calendars.  We hand over the decision making to our email urgency and quickly everyone else’s priorities become ours.  What’s left for what really matters to you?  What moves the needle in your goals?  What do you care about? 

 

I advocate that we HAVE the time for our priorities when we lean into the idea that we have the ability to choose and we are clear on what our priorities are.   

 

If sipping a cup of coffee while doing a crossword puzzle brings you joy, then you should have that time allotted in your calendar.  Even more important than having it identified in your calendar, is that you do it.  Don’t break promises to yourself - they may be the most important promises you ever make. 

 

Now, don’t get me wrong, this is not as easy as it sounds.  Which is why we talk about harmony.  It’s not 100% of the time, it’s 80-ish%, it’s not beating yourself up when you miss a few days or something else becomes a priority.  It’s more about keeping it top of mind so that we don’t get sucked into the hamster wheel of our daily todos. 

 

Let me know how this is working for you, DM me on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram. 

36-Identifying Your Core Values Part-1

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and sometimes it’s hard to know what really makes you happy because you haven’t identified your priorities or maybe you just need to think about it again. Today, we peel back the layers.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and sometimes it’s hard to know what really makes you happy because you haven’t identified your priorities.  It’s easy to say brunch with friends or date night with my partner, or family game night.  But why.  When we ask ourselves more questions, by peeling back the layers of “why” we can uncover our core values and use them as our North Star to create lasting happiness. 

 

The act of enjoying brunch with friends or date night is not going to maintain a heightened level of happiness for very long, that’s the science around hedonic adaptation (general tendency to return to a set level of happiness despite life’s ups and downs).  

 

But understanding why that brunch helps you feel happier might.  If we peel back a layer, perhaps it is the connection between friends that you enjoy so much.  If we peel back again, perhaps it’s a specific type of friend, one that is also happy, that appreciates the same things as you, that makes you feel good about yourself.  

 

You see, we're starting to uncover the deeper roots of our own personal happiness. So, in this example, connection might be a core value and adding a bit of intentional connection with the right people everyday could boost your happiness.  

 

Tell me, have you identified one of your core values? Tomorrow, we’ll continue this discussion. 

 

DM me on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram.  

 

35-Having Purpose For Increased Happiness

When you can lock on to your purpose or your north star, it seems to make decisions easier.  But moreover, it seems to give you a heightened sense of satisfaction.  And what we know from the research is that satisfaction is a key component to happiness.    

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and purpose is a big word, one of which I am still pursuing and analyzing for myself.  What I’ve found so far is that purpose doesn’t have to be this big scary thing.  So many people we know, especially entrepreneurs, are desperately searching for their purpose.  But let’s reframe this in the realm of happiness.   

 

Purpose is how you feel when you are doing the thing you are doing.  This can be some academic research, your work, building a business or a community, being a parent.    

 

Happiness is not a constant emotion.  We are not happy all the time.  Your purpose becomes a reference point when making decisions.  Almost like a filter for what to say yes to and what to say no to. 

 

When you can lock on to your purpose or your north star, it seems to make decisions easier.  But moreover, it seems to give you a heightened sense of satisfaction.  And what we know from the research is that satisfaction is a key component to happiness.   

 

So in this roundabout way, if fulfilling your purpose will help you feel satisfied, then you are well on your way to more happiness.  

 

Follow us @everydayhappinesswithkatie where you get these briefings and happiness quotes every single day.