Everyday Happiness - Finding Harmony and Bliss

94-Smile More

This hack for smiling is really insightful - wrinkles be damned.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I invite you to smile more.  Not because you have to.  And certainly not because someone told you to.  But because you want to.  It’s good for your own personal happiness.  

 

I learned this hack.  If you take a pencil, put it in your mouth so your back molars are gently touching the pencil and you smile a big smile - that action, you know, the one that gives you crows feet around your eyes.  That action triggers your brain to think you are happy, even if you are feeling blah.   

 

Friends, that’s incredible.  

 

Also, I heard that you cannot hold two opposite emotions at the exact same time.  So, if you turn up your lips and give a little smile, your anger, your annoyance, your frustration starts to dissipate.  Now, we can have a lot of emotions in the day, in the hour, believe me I’m feeling all kinds of emotions as I record this episode and the world feels turned upside down.   But I am trusting the science that we can hack our emotions, because feeling anxious and out of control sucks.    

 

So let’s smile those big smiles.  Try it.  Let me know if it worked for you?  Send me your smile selfie at the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #EverydayHappinessWithKatie tag my in your stories @ everydayhappinesswithkatie and we’ll share happiness together. 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

93-Happiness Predictor

What is one thing that is guaranteed to predict your happiness? 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and the number one predictor of happiness is gratitude.  Here is one simple way to get that gratitude practice in every day. 

 

• On Sunday, list 5 things you are most grateful for. 
• Each night of the week review the list 
• Add to the list on the following Sunday 

 

Authur Brooks, a Harvard professor on this subject says you will get 10-25% happier over 10 weeks, according to the science he’s researched, because you will REMEMBER the things that are really important to you.  And heck, it can be that the trees are green.  Just do something. 

 

Do you keep track of your gratitude?  I’m curious if my listeners out there have a gratitude practice and what it is.  Send me a DM @everydayhappinesswithkatie   If you have a gratitude journal, snap a pic and share with the hashtags  #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram so we can have some inspiration. 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

92-Do You Feel Lucky Part 2 of 2?

It seems as though how you think about luck matters, to some extent.  Either you think you are a lucky person or an unlucky person.  Which are you?  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and we’re talking about feeling lucky.

 

Yesterday we dove into conscious luck and today, we look at the flip side - sometimes, we don’t feel all that lucky and you know what, we usually see concrete proof of our unluckiness.   

 

We can have these personal barriers to “luck” where we can sabotage ourselves, we can’t believe that people are just ‘lucky’.  A lot of people call them ‘limiting beliefs’ 

 

Luck isn’t, “I’m lucky, ok, thank you, I have everything I want because I had it in my mind”.  That’s crazy.  That’s not how this works.  

 

So the flip side - the bad luck.  How many times have you talked to someone and they’ve just had bad luck.  They just look at the circumstances differently, they are down on their luck.  And what the positive psychology researchers will tell you is that when you sing that story, I’m down on my luck.  You feel unlucky.  

 

I was listening to a story, this woman was talking about her sister.  She was saying, she’s always said, I have bad luck and that was her story and real life bad luck things were happening to her, she fell in an icy parking lot and hurt herself, she then had to walk with a cane, and she was like “see” I’m unlucky.  And this woman was saying, her sister tells people and believes she's unlucky and then is a magnet for unluckiness. 

 

Can you tell a different story to yourself and continue to make it true? 

 

Some people have things like lucky charms, lucky socks, lucky ritual and they work, not because those things are lucky, but because we believe they are lucky.  It’s all in our minds. 

 

Uplevel your luckiess.  Intentional luck. 

 

Luck is a happy word.  It makes you feel good to think about it.  And now, I’m going to start to remind myself of the luck I do experience, it’s out there, I’m sure of it.  

 

Inspired by this podcast:  Episode 127 Conscious Luck, Shari + Nancy Show.  

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

91-Do You Feel Lucky Part 1 of 2?

Can we think our way into being luckier?  Let’s dive in.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been thinking about this phrase ‘conscious luck’.  What is conscious luck?  What if we told ourselves the story that we are lucky, even if we don’t 100% believe it yet.  There are some theories in positive psychology that positive psychology is a force for happiness and joy.  And if you feel lucky, if you believe you are lucky, you will be lucky, you will see more luck? 

 

Hmmm…. 

 

I heard in a podcast episode that I will link, that if we can be specific about our luckiness, like I am really lucky when it comes to love or business opportunities, and then watch how the energy in those components of your life starts to rub off.   I do this with silly things, like I am so lucky I always find a good parking spot.  It drives my husband crazy that I always seem to get the perfect spot, but I really believe that I am lucky in parking. 

 

Think of luck, not in the superficial way, but in the way that “luck” is word that we use in the stories that we tell ourselves.  So if we’re going to make up a story, why not make it up good, right? 

 

So, I guess this is how we think about luck.  It's mindset.  The mind is such a powerful thing and there are positive psychologists that say you can train your brain to believe you are a lucky person, and when you do, you will see more luck.  

 

Tomorrow, we’re continuing this chat about luck and the flip-side to luckiness. 

 

 

Inspired by this podcast:  Episode 127 Conscious Luck, Shari + Nancy Show.  

 

 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

90-First Day Of School

Today I open up about how I am feeling about the first day of in-person school in over 16 months. 

 

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today is the first day of school, and I am happy that my children are in school with their peers (we’re in a public school) and I am fearful that they will get covid-19.  I wanted to share these “musings about life” because sometimes we have lots of emotions, me too.   

 

What do we do when we have two seemingly conflicting emotions? 

 

I am going through these emotions that a lot of us are going through, at this moment in time.  And it can feel heavy and quite frankly, emotionally exhausting .  

 

What I know, from my own experience and research, is that it is so easy to spiral.  In fact negative emotions tend to be more contagious than positive emotions.  We have to try harder to be positive.    So, this is what I’m doing today. 

 

I’m taking note of how I’m feeling, because, I believe in order to work through these feelings, we need to name them and sit with them, not brush them under the rug.  I think it’s ok to feel anxious about returning to school in the middle of a global pandemic, if that is where you are at, emotionally.  

 

I’m also choosing to focus on what I can control in an environment where so much feels out of control.  

 

And, I’m talking with my kids, age appropriately, about their anxiety and how they are feeling about school.  Both in what to expect and then, how was your day when they return this afternoon.  

 

If you are feeling anxious and it feels hard to be “happy” today, I get it and you are not alone.  I invite you to write 3 things you are grateful for about the returning to school and see if that will give you just a tiny bit of peace as we navigate this new experience.  And please know, I’m rooting for you.  

 

Until next time. 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

89-Behavioral Contagion

Are our behaviors contagious?  Wait…are other people’s behaviors contagious?  What the heck am I catching? Listen in to find out. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve noticed that not only do birds of a feather flock together, but we have these friend groups, or heck, Facebook groups, we tend to take on the identity of others.  There is a term that researchers call this phenomenon “behavioral contagion” and I wanted to shed some light on this theory because it’s so easy to get caught up without even realizing it. We also talked about this phenomenon in Episode 28 if you want to pop back over and take a listen, that episode has some good nuggets in it too. 

 

Behavioral contagion is when we pick up the behaviors of others we are around.  Oftentimes, scientists use the example of a college roommate with a thick southern accent, if you are from the Northeast, you might start to say y'all a little more often than you did before.  

 

Humans actually do this quite naturally, in the case of an accent, perhaps that’s not a big deal.  But what if it’s more personality traits? There is considerable research that indicates we humans are incredibly susceptible to taking on the traits of others. It’s just plain ‘ol science.  It happens.  

 

I invite you to take stock in who you are hanging around with. Are those people giving you what you need?   Are they a positive influence in your life?  Are you feeding the flame of anxiety or negativity?  It’s actually pretty common for us to get caught up in rhythms and in situations that don’t serve us.  

 

 

So, I’m asking myself: 

 

What am I reading? 

What am I watching? 

Who am I spending time with? 

 

Does this serve me?  Do I want to tweek this at all?  And I invite you, if you feel like it, to take stock in the past few months and look toward the bright future with some intention.  

 

As always, if you want to continue this conversation, hit me up on social media at @ everydayhappinesswithkatie 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

88-Behind The Scenes Look At Intentional Margins

Want to take a trip down memory lane?  Here’s the inside scoop. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I wanted to share with you what I was thinking when I created the concept Intentional Margins®.  This is where my mind was, and how I was thinking about my own overwhelm and my ways of managing those feelings.  

 

In Episode 87 I shared the book analogy (go back and listen if you haven’t and this will all mak more sense). I had been reading a lot, I was on vacation in Buenos Aires and was chewing on this idea that we can be high achieving and also not feel overwhelmed.  We can reduce the todo list to only what is essential and still have time for our priorities.  Frankly, I was not ready to return home to what I knew was waiting for me - a lot of things to do.  

 

I had gone through periods in my life where I felt so busy, I had so many irons in the fire, I was feeling pulled in so many directions and all I really wanted to do was watch Netflix and binge with my two kids snuggled on the sofa.  

 

I had also gone through periods where I stripped down everything to the most essential and said no to almost everything.

 

From the outside looking in, I’m often asked how I “do it all” and still have time for the things that people viewed as “fun”, like coffee with a friend, brunch, going to sleep at 9:00pm when most of my peers were cleaning up the house, working late or doing something else on their todo list.  

 

I realized, I thought about time differently.  And when I was sitting in Buenos Aries I reflected on all the years I felt like I could manage - even when I was so busy and pulled in so many directions - but still felt like I was doing ok - and what was I doing then and how could I do that again when I returned home. 

 

What I did - was make time for my priorities, no matter what.  It’s how I looked at my Intentional Margins® and boundaries, like the book in Episode 87.   I always protected my values and priorities.  Sometimes not as well as others, there are seasons, but I never lost the essence of this way of living.  

 

Now, Intentional Margins® is a filter for me and so many others to decide what we say yes to and what we say no to. 

 

I invite you to think about the margins in your book and decide what Intentional Margins® you’d create for yourself.  Of course, I love connection, it’s one of my core values, so share with my your Intentional Margins® on social using the hashtag #IntentionalMargins and tagging me so we can connect and I can celebrate you!  I’m over at @ everydayhappinesswithkatie. 

 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

87-Opening The Book To Intentional Margins®

A deeper look into the concept of Intentional Margins®.

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and when I think about Intentional Margins® and when I was creating this concept this was the vision in my head.  

 

Imagine, you are opening a book.  The paragraphs are perfectly justified, as you turn the pages you know exactly what to expect, page after page.  The margins are firm.  It feels easy.  Imagine the words are your todo list.  

 

You’ll notice, the todo list, all those words, they never creep into the margins of the page.  

 

Can you imagine what it would feel like if you were reading and one line shot out into the margins and 4 lines down the sentence was cut to half the page.  And again, the next paragraph has a 3 lines that randomly bled into the margin.  

 

The next page is the same random lines shooting out into the margins.  Chapter after chapter. 

 

It feels randon, sporadic, gives you a little uneasiness, some anxiety and it makes reading that book so much harder.   

 

That’s what I was feeling when my todo list felt out of control.  Like I was on the hamster wheel of todos, and couldn’t imagine jumping off. 

 

When we create boundaries, those margins in a book, we can create harmony.  

 

And the Intentional Margins® are the best parts of your day.  They are the margins in this example.  They are where you spend your time - your most valuable resource - living in your priorities. 

 

Intentional Margins® is a buffer of space and time to find harmony between your todos and your priorities.  

 

When you think of this book, your margins are your best parts of life.  We don’t want to miss it. We don’t want those todos to constantly overreach into the margins.  Here and there, that’s harmony, but when it’s consistent, we feel overwhelmed and out of control.  That’s not a good feels.  

 

So for me, Intentional Margins® was my filter to prioritize what I say yes to and what I say no to, so that I can achieve those boundaries, and be intentional about my margin.  

 

If you could do anything you wanted, what would you do in your Intentional Margins®? I’m at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  tag me on an IG story so we can celebrate you, use the hashtag #IntentionalMargins or send me a DM, and I promise to write back. 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

86-Setting An Intention For The Day

Back to the basics and setting an intention for the day. Here are some examples on how to do this for yourself. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been hearing a lot about setting an intention for the day, one word or phrase for the day.  So, it got me thinking, do you pick a work or phrase for the day? 

 

I was thinking this could be a theme for the day, things like:  

• Show kindness 
• Manage expectations 
• Be purposeful 
• Lead with compassion 
• Shed anxiety 
• Be the light 
• Productive 
• Caring 
• Nurture relationships 
• Be present 

 

I could go on and on.  But the point is, this anecdotally, is really powerful and I wanted to share this tip with you.   

 

I live by the concept of creating Intentional Margins®, the space and time to live in my priorities.  And perhaps, sometimes, the priority can align with the theme of the day, like being intentional.  That could relate to reading books with the kids and keeping my phone in the kitchen so I am really in that intentional space with them - because let’s be real, my mind wanders.  

 

So, I hope this fun tip inspires you.  One thing I would love more than anything, is for you to reach out and tell me what your word of the day or intention for the day is.  It inspires me and I’ll share.  I’m at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  tag me on an IG story with your intention so we can celebrate you.  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

85-Finding Joy

Are you finding JOY? My friend Michelle has some great tips. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and my friend Michelle hosts an interactive newsletter and membership called Pieces of Me.  Link in the transcript. The other day, her newsletter was about being intentional about finding and creating JOY.   Her journal prompts included three questions: 

 

- What does JOY mean to you? 

- What memories of JOY do you have? 

- What do you associate with JOY? 

 

Have you ever sat with your thoughts and asked yourself, what makes you happy? 

 

Over the next few weeks, Michelle’s community is intentionally focusing on Joy and some tips that Michelle has for us to cultivate and be intentional about this exercise are: 

 

- To create a JOY Inspiration Board ~ fill a piece of paper with images and words that bring you or remind you of JOY. 

- Go on a JOY Hunt ~ notice what it is that brings you JOY, in your daily surroundings. 

- Keep a JOY Journal ~ write 5 things each day which made you smile, brought happiness, or fed JOY. 

- Talk about JOY ~ all the time! 

- Write “joy” in capital letters, whenever you write ~ enJOY, enJOYment, JOYful etc. 

 

These are such a practical and tangible way to think about emotions and just to have a little bit of fun when it can feel like the world is heavy with all the things going on.  I hope this inspires you as much as it did me and that you go about your day and take notice of what brings you JOY and gives you a little boost of happiness.  

 

Join me over on social to continue this discussion.  I’m at @everydayhappinesswithkatie. 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

Michelle’s Group, Pieces of Me: https://piecesofme.mn.co/