Everyday Happiness - Finding Harmony and Bliss

113-What I’m-Savoring Right Now

I'm starting to become addicted to savoring.  This really works! 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and yesterday we talked about savoring, this scientific principle of  prolonged appreciation.  When you take a moment and appreciate it, you prolong the positive experience and emotions, which shines a light on the experience and magnifies our happiness. 

 

Lately I’ve been savoring bedtime snuggles with my littlest kid.  He’s about to get to the age where snuggling mom is not as cool as it once was.  I’m savoring every moment, the way his hands feel, the texture of his hair.  How his voice sounds when he tells me a story.   It’s helping me stay completely present in the moment and I believe I am experiencing more happiness and satisfaction and even purpose when I slow down and savor this particular moment in the day. 

 

I’ve also been savoring the simple pleasure of my morning coffee in a quiet house before the sun rises.  During the global pandemic, my sleep schedule changed.  As a family, we stayed up later and that resulted in me sleeping in later than before.  If you’ve been with me for a while, you know how much I love my sleep.  It’s one of my core values.  I prioritize sleep over just about everything.  It’s the only way I can get through the day.   

But I also love this moment in the morning, with my coffee, a quiet dark house with only my thoughts to distract me.  It’s when I get my best, most creative writing done - which wasn’t happening much the first year of the pandemic - because I was sleeping in until the very last moment possible to get the kids up for virtual school.  

So savoring this moment of clarity, focus and excitement for the day, with gratitude for my warm cup of coffee, has been such a highlight, I look forward to the next morning, which helps me refuse the urge to hit the snooze button.  

I hope this episode has inspired you to savor something a little longer today.  And, let me know what it is, let’s chat over on Social.  I’m at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram  

And if you enjoyed this episode of Everyday Happiness,make sure that you hit the subscribe button wherever you are tuning into today, and write a review, it helps our little micro-podcast get found so others can enjoy a bit of happiness. I would be incredibly grateful.   

 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

112-Savoring Is The “Ah-Ha” That Connects Mindfulness To Real Life

Channeling Oprah and her “ah ha” moments!  Savoring was the concept that helped me flip the switch on understanding mindfulness.  Today’s episode is the cliff notes on savoring. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and we’ve got to talk about savoring.  If you are not familiar with this concept, let’s dive into the cliff notes. 

 

Savoring is what you can do when you feel a ping of joy, of happiness, a flicker of gratitude glitter.  It prolongs positive experiences.  It’s like stepping out of what you are experiencing to review and appreciate it while it’s happening.  

 

 We want to do this because savoring has been prove to: 

• Boost our mood
• Keep us in the moment, thwarting our wandering mind
• Increase gratitude, being thankful for that is right in front of you
• Savoring can thwart hedonic adaptation, that behavior where we get to a place and want more. Savoring helps us to remember the good stuff in life. 

 

I invite you to pick a daily “savor.”

Perhaps you are going for a walk and you pick up a brightly colored leaf. How does that leaf feel, what are you experiencing at that moment.  Savor the experience for just a couple minutes.  

We want to tell the Universe that you enjoy this moment you’re savoring and to deliver more of it.  

Savoring in its simplest form is a prolonged appreciation.  When you take a moment and appreciate it, you prolong the positive experience and emotions, which shines a light on the experience and magnifies our happiness. 

I hope this episode has inspired you to savor something a little longer today.  And, let me know what it is, let’s chat over on Social.  I’m at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram  

And if you enjoyed this episode of Everyday Happiness,make sure that you hit the subscribe button wherever you are tuning into today, and write a review, it helps our little micro-podcast get found so others can enjoy a bit of happiness. I would be incredibly grateful.   

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

111-Stress and Happiness: How Mindfulness is the Key

We know stress has an incredibly toxic effect on our bodies, but what can we do about it?  That’s what we talk about today.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and stress has an incredible toxic effect on our bodies.  We’re not running from lions anymore, we’ve evolved as humans, but we’re stressed about a lot of things.  And when we’re stressed, we can’t function as our best selves. 

 

Apparently mindfulness can actually reduce stress.  That looks like being totally present in the moment.  For you, right now, it looks like listening to every word you’re hearing from me.  You’re not scrolling your phone, checking email or multitasking in other ways.  You are right here right now.  

 

I think of this with my husband and our coffee chats.  It’s no phones, looking at him, engaged in our conversations. Sometimes they are super short, but they are intentional. It could also look like being alone, sipping warm coffee and feeling the coffee fall down your throat, the ceramic of the coffee mug, the way the coffee smells. 

 

Being in this moment exactly as it is.  Not wishing it was different or thinking about the past or the future.  Just being present, in all the senses of the moment.   

 

The experts say that when we are stressed and we can “be” in the moment, we will make better decisions for the next moment. 

 

So mindfulness is a practice, and you can get better over time.  A lot of people call it meditation.  But it can also be awareness throughout the moments of the day.  Instead of multitasking, practice being present in the moment.  Perhaps it starts with putting your phone in your pocket the next time you are in line at the grocery store or Starbucks.  You notice the things around you, the people, the smells, the way your groceries are organized (or not) in your cart.   

 

So apparently if you practice mindfulness, you can reduce your stress. 

 

Do you meditate?  How does this look for you? Let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram  

 

Inspiration for this episode and the research mentioned comes from the Happiness Lab podcast, episode 13.  

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

110-Believing Mirrors

Who is in your believing mirror?  In today’s episode, inspired by my friend Julie’s new book, I share what a believing mirror is and why this is so important. 

 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was reading a chapter in my friend Julie’s book about believing mirrors.  I will link the book in the show notes - it’s really good. 

 

So, in this chapter, Naked in Alaska, she talks about this incredible wisdom from her friend Valerie.  As women supporting one another, this makes my heart sing.  

 

The concept is pretty simple.  It’s having someone in your life that not only believes in you and tells you, but that reflects back to you all of your strengths.   

 

I created an entire online community to remind other women that you are doing a great job, that you belong and that we believe in you.  We have a woman in our community creating a bread baking company, starting out in a church and getting retail orders from coffee shops in the town she lives in.  That’s incredible!  We are encouraging her and cheering her on like it’s out J-O-B. 

 

Of course, I just read Julie’s book, I didn’t have this language of the believing mirror, but this is so deep in my core, that it made my heart sing when I read this chapter. 

 

We all DESERVE to have people in our corner.  Not in the cheap seats, but in the ring with us, reminding us that we’re amazing in our own individual authentic way.  

 

I believe the great tragedy of the times we live in is that we’re too busy to recognize what is most important in the moments we are in them.  We are pulled in so many directions, including having a mini computer in our pocket to distract us from what’s right in front of our eyes.  I’m guilty of this - which is why this is on my mind so much.   

 

So, I encourage you to make a list of 3 people that are YOUR believing mirror AND, create an #IntentionalMargin to spend time with those amazing brilliant thoughtful individuals.  

 

Post a story on Instagram on tag me @everydayhappinesswithkatie and tell me who your people are!  Let’s celebrate them!  

 

And if you enjoyed this episode of Everyday Happiness,make sure that you hit the subscribe button wherever you are tuning into today, so that you never miss an episode. 

 

 

You can find Julie DeLucca-Collins here:  https://www.goconfidentlycoaching.com/

And on social here:

https://www.instagram.com/julie_deluccacollins/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/goconfidentlyjulie/

https://www.facebook.com/jdelucca

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

109-My Friend Amy

My sweet friend Amy is the perfect example of how our circumstances do not define our happiness.   Picking up from Episode 107, Amy’s story is one you won’t want to miss. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and in Episode 107, we talked about  this idea that thoughts create our unhappiness, not our circumstances. 

 

Some people think this might be one of life’s greatest secrets because it seems like the opposite is true—that if we could just get circumstances to change, we would finally be happy.  

 

I want to introduce you to my dear friend Amy.  She’s an active and healthy mom of two young boys and a wife to her wonderful husband. Over a year ago now, she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer.  Her circumstances went from good to terrible.  

 

But her mindset didn’t.  At least not most of the time.  She decided that she would keep a “high vibe” as she would say and be intentional about caring for her body and her mind during what is turning out to be a list of unfortunate circumstances.  

 

This mindset has allowed her to be present in the moment of the good things that are happening and that do make her happy.  Sometimes her happiness is a green smoothie.  Other times it looks like a long hike with her family or a trip to the beach with her sister.  She’s present.  She’s feeling the sand in her toes, and quite possibly every single piece of sand.  She’s in a really tough spot.  She’s not Pollyanna about it, she’s just choosing to not get caught up in the circumstances.  

 

Since Amy’s diagnosis, the chemo has been longer, the side-effects have been stronger, the fatigue has been all-consuming.  But she’s intentionally caring for her mindset, which is allowing her to be happy, even when her circumstances suck.  As some people would say, she’s looking on the bright side.   

 

I wanted to share Amy’s story of strength and resilience as an example of how we get to choose how we show up and how powerful the mind is - even when circumstances suck. 

 

She’s a beautiful reminder to me everyday and I hope her story will inspire you to find that silver lining in the midst of your circumstances and perhaps, even experience some happiness. 

 

And if you enjoyed this episode of Everyday Happiness,make sure that you hit the subscribe button wherever you are tuning into today, so that you never miss an episode. 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

108-In The Moment Experiment Check-In

Accountability check-in.  This episode I share how the “in the moment” self experiment is going.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and it’s time to check in. Today is our “being present in the moment” check-in, yay for accountability. 

 

This past week, when picking up my son from school, I turned off the radio and really focused on what he’s saying.  A few days ago, we had to sit and wait a bit in the car after school before another appointment and he dug out a picture he drew in free time and shared every detail with me.  And the old me may have rushed him a bit, but I didn’t and I savored the moment and his little voice,  so excited to tell me all the details.  I really got to enjoy that moment and it made me happy.  

 

Also, I realized that sometimes my head is in the clouds and I am totally on auto-pilot.  I was in the grocery store the other day and I had a small carry basket, so not a big cart and walked right up to the self checkout register and put my stuff down as someone was leaving right before me, not realizing that there was a long, socially distanced, line just off to my right, down the produce isle.  I had completely missed the que, and the nice man that was next was like, kindly told me that “there’s a line” and I was so embarrassed.  Of course I apologized and took my basket to the end of the line, but I just wasn’t paying attention.  And I wasn’t distracted by something else either, I just wasn’t paying attention.  

 

This was a good reminder that we are often on auto-pilot and frankly, we can look back at our days and wonder what we did all day?  Total auto-pilot, which this experiment is helping me to recognize and snap out of.  Do you ever feel like your day is on auto-pilot? Let’s connect on social, I’m over @everydayhappinesswithkatie 

 

And if you enjoyed this episode of Everyday Happiness,make sure that you hit the subscribe button wherever you are tuning into today, so that you never miss an episode. 

 

 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

107-Do Thoughts Create Our Unhappiness?

There is this idea that thoughts create our unhappiness, not circumstances. Some people think this might be one of life’s greatest secrets because it seems like the opposite is true—that if we could just get circumstances to change, we would finally be happy.  

 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and there is this hum in the happiness readings, like an overarching theme that happy people are more mindfulness than the rest of us, they tend to be more present and have this high level of gratitude for the moment. 

 

I guess, if you can enjoy what you have, you are not wanting for more, which can make you unhappy.  

 

There are these theories that when you are present in the moment, you are happier than when you are thinking of the past or what’s next.   

 

The idea in the research is that looking back at achievements, won’t make us happy now.  So, say you got the 30 under 30 award and it was a huge accomplishment.  Now, you are in your 40s and your happiness has baselined again.  That’s the hedonic adaptation principle.  

 

There is this idea that thoughts create our unhappiness, not our circumstances. 

 

Some people think this might be one of life’s greatest secrets because it seems like the opposite is true—that if we could just get circumstances to change, we would finally be happy.  

 

We know through the research that circumstances do not make you happier. More money doesn't necessarily make you happier.  There are people all over the world who have less and are happy.  Some people are sick, their circumstances suck, but those circumstances are not necessarily making them unhappy, it’s their thoughts that are. 

 

Memories are some of the most common thoughts that rob our happiness, but even dreams of the future do this, simply because they take us out of the richness of the present moment and into a made-up reality.  

 

So, I’m working on being more present and I hope this inspires you to think about ways you can be more present too.  

 

Let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram  

 

And if you enjoyed this episode of Everyday Happiness,make sure that you hit the subscribe button wherever you are tuning into today, so that you never miss an episode. 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

106-The Mindfulness Pause

It’s time to ‘gather your thoughts’ as I say, because sometimes, our brains are hardwired to not stop.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been working on building the muscle of pausing.  With our ‘busy’ lives, and I say ‘busy’ in air quotes because I have a love-hate relationship with the busy badge of honor.  Ok, in our abundant and fulfilling lives, mindfulness for the pause to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment is a technique that brings more awareness to being present and you don’t look back at the end of the day and wonder what you did all day.   That happens to me all the time.  I can get caught on auto-pilot and not really be thinking about what I’m doing.  

 

Meditation is something I am exploring and working on, but it’s not where my personality naturally gravitates, so I’ve been exploring this mindful pause.  So far this week, it’s grabbing my coffee and sitting on my back porch, without my phone, to just “gather my thoughts”.  I say “gather my thoughts” all the time and for me, I think it’s my mental pause to take inventory of what’s going on and gather my thoughts or calm my thoughts down if I feel the rushing of emotions and I can’t think straight.  Does that ever happen to you?  Where you just need a pause?  

 

“Gathering my thoughts” also looks like a quick 10-jumping jacks in my office to shift the energy and refocus or walking away form my computer and when I feel like I’m not being my best. 

 

So if you ever take a pause or a reset, share with us what you do, how does it work for you, so that we can all learn from one another.     

 

Let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram  

 

And if you enjoyed this episode of Everyday Happiness,make sure that you hit the subscribe button wherever you are tuning into today, so that you never miss an episode. 

 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

105-In The Moment

Do you live in the moment? 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’m trying to be more present in the moment.  It is by far, one of the hardest things for me to do.  It takes everything in me to stay in the moment.  My mind wanders.  I even catch myself eavesdropping to the conversation next to me.  Oftentimes, I’m thinking of what's next.  Next in the conversation, next in the hour, next in the day.  It’s a struggle.  

 

Being present is so important.  Whether it’s acknowledging and savoring your first bite of a delicious dinner, or listening to the children tell me about their day at school.  

 

I recently read that hedonic adaptation, which is the scientific name for getting what you want, adapting to that and then wanting more can happen on the micro level.  It can be enjoying that first bite of a freshly baked cookie, and then eating 3 cookies and wondering if they were as good as the first bite. You think something will make you happy long term, but the science suggests it won’t and you’ll return to your normal level of happiness - even if it’s something as big as winning the lottery.   

 

But one way to counterbalance this feeling and not feel like you are on, what the social scientists call the hedonic treadmill, is to be present in the moment.  

 

This has got me thinking about my life on a micro level.  How can I check myself, be present and start living more in the moment.  So I’ve done a quick dive into a self-guided experiment, on savoring, meditation for happiness, being present, and of course gratitude.  

 

Over the next little while, I’m going to do check-ins on this micro-podcast (yay for accountability) and I will take you along with me on my exploration to live more presently using the happiness tools and techniques backed by scientific research.  

 

In the mean time, what tools do you use to be more present or mindful in your everyday life? Let’s chat over on social - I’m @ everydayhappinesswithkatie   

 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

104-Mindfulness Is Stressing Me Out

 

I’ve been struggling with this concept of mindfulness because I kept thinking I had to do this perfect meditation.  But when I flipped the script, I came around to what is mindfulness and how I could do it without meditating all day long.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been struggling with this concept of mindfulness. 

 

Perhaps it's just semantics that I was getting caught up on, similarly with gratitude and appreciation, but being mindful is not easy for me and I’m not a girl who meditates.  

 

But then I heard an explanation that was less about meditation - the kind where you try to think of nothing and more about being present in the moment.  That’s still hard for me, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve started to change the way I think of mindfulness.  

 

I started to flip the script and think about mindfulness as being present and something I can do all day, instead of a time that was strictly devoted to meditation.  In a way, it was freeing me from the guilt of thinking I needed to meditate. 

 

I learned, through my research, that Mindfulness is simply the art of being completely present in the moment.

 

I looked up mindfulness in the thesaurus to try to better understand and it led me to words like appreciation, present, thoughtfulness, state of consciousness, wholeness.   

 

So I started to look at “mindfulness” as “being present” and that is where my journey has led me so far.  

 

I haven’t gotten to the mindfulness state of pure awareness, beyond mental activity that is the state of being found in the Buddhism origination of mindfulness. 

 

I’m just working on being present in the here and now.  

 

It looks like being in the moment and not on auto-pilot, moving through life without paying full attention to the journey.  I wonder if my less than ideal memory is because I wasn't present in the moment - for years - because I was already moving on to the next thing? 

 

I’m curious, how do you describe mindfulness?  What works for you?  I’d love any tips you’ve got for me. I’m over on social @ everydayhappinesswithkatie. 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/