Everyday Happiness - Finding Harmony and Bliss

123-Intentional Margins® Part 2 of 2 (encore)

INTENTIONAL MARGINS® is a filter to identify what matters most, your priorities, and figure out how to make time for them.  So that, you can look back at the week, and have a win, recognizing that you did live in your priorities and you are in fact creating a fulfilling life.   

 

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are talking about my concept INTENTIONAL MARGINS®.  

 

Yesterday, you looked at your calendar and wrote down all the have-tos.  The commute, the meetings, the kids activities, the dentist, all the things you have to do. 

 

The rest, is your margin.  And the big question is how do we make the absolute most of our time so that we create a fulfilling life in our Intentional Margins®.  What I’ve found, is that when we aren’t intentional, we look back, over the day and wonder, what did I do that was in MY priorities. I felt so busy all day.   

 

Days become weeks,  weeks to months, months to years and pretty soon we’re checking the todo list, but we’re on auto-pilot. 

 

INTENTIONAL MARGINS® is a filter to identify what matters most, your priorities, and figure out how to make time for them.  So that, you can look back at the week, and have a win, recognizing that you did live in your priorities and you are in fact creating a fulfilling life.   

 

For a lot of us, it’s just about awareness.  When we, for a split second, turn off auto-pilot. 

 

Now, if you think that’s not you - you don’t actually have a moment for your priorities, I invite you to think about how much margin you might have.  Those pockets of time. And what are some priorities that you would like to focus on during that time?  It could be 15 minutes here and there or an hour or two in the evening.   

 

Tomorrow we’ll talk about creating Intentional Margins® using the IMPACT Method. In the meantime, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

122-Intentional Margins® Part 1 of 2 (encore)

Do you ever feel like you are running on that hamster wheel of todos and afraid to jump off for fear that everything will crumble?  That’s why you need Intentional Margins®.

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are talking about my concept INTENTIONAL MARGINS®.  

 

INTENTIONAL MARGINS® is finding the buffer of space and time to create harmony between our todos and our priorities.  

 

Do you ever feel like you are running on that hamster wheel of todos and afraid to jump off for fear that everything will crumble?  You’re overwhelmed and can’t see the vision and all you want is some clarity.  Yeah, me too!  Or at least that was me, before I started getting super consistent with my Margins.  The space and time in the day, that wasn’t a crisis or a “have to”. 

 

Now, you might be thinking, I don’t have any margin, I go non-stop all day.

 

But let’s unpack this over the next few episodes.  If you look at your calendar you might have some commute time to work or running kids to and from.  You might have an appointment or an important conference call or meeting.  Perhaps, you have a job, like my sister, who is a nurse, and she’s working 9-5ish and there is no break.  She’s basically on, all day.  

 

Whatever that looks like for you.  I encourage you to take a traditional week and put all of that in your calendar.  Then, put in the sleep.  If you're an overachiever, put in the calendar the dinner making and cleaning up time too. 

 

Tomorrow we’ll talk about what’s left on that calendar.  In the meantime, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

121-Our Highlight Reel

If social media is our highlight reel, how do we build connections that actually make us feel happier? 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and sometimes it’s worth reminding ourselves and our friends (that’s you) that social media is just a highlight reel.   It’s never the full picture.  And, comparing ourselves and pining over what others have (or don’t have) is not helping our happiness.   

 

Oftentimes, we think we need connection to others, so we jump on our favorite social app, only to have spent countless hours scrolling and feeling more lonely than when we started.  

 

Social media is not a substitute for intentional connection with others, connection is one of the best ways to boost happiness.  

 

Research shows that happy people spend more time with others and have a richer set of social connections than unhappy people. Studies even show that the simple act of talking to a stranger on the street can boost our mood more than we expect. 

 

If you are feeling lonely or in a slump, I invite you to find social interaction in person, or at least on a video chat with someone that lifts you up.  You’ll find that intentional social interaction will actually boost your happiness. 

 

The research indicates that being socially connected makes us happier.  New connections can significantly increase our positive mood.  And actually, talking to a stranger in a coffee shop, or making a friend, has an incredible positive effect on our happiness.  

 

So, when you are out around town today, make a special effort to be kind, say hello to a stranger, pay them a compliment and see what happens.  

 

And let me know how it goes, right a review wherever you are listening, and send me a message @everydayhappinesswithkatie over on social. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

120-The Glitter Jar

I hear this analogy years ago and it was so good and stuck with me, that I just had to share it with you. 

 

Transcript:

 

 

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and years ago I was listening to a talk by child psychologist and author Lisa Damour about raising kids, especially girls and she talked about an analogy she had heard of that seems so practical and effective for kids and adults that I wanted you to have this analogy too. 

 

But before I get into that, please consider subscribing and writing a review for Everyday Happiness on Apple Podcasts or Amazon Flash Briefings so we can spread happiness to others.  Apparently, until you have 50 reviews, it’s really hard to get noticed in this busy world, so we’d be so grateful for you to be one of the first 50.  You’d really be helping us out.  There is a link in the show notes. 

 

Back to the glitter jar.  Imagine you fill a jar with water and glitter.  three colors of glitter: one to represent thoughts, one to represent feelings, and one to represent behaviors

 

 This jar represents your brain.  The jar is like our mind, and each color of glitter represents something different in our mind.

 

When the jar sits on the table, all the glitter falls to the bottom, the mind is calm. 

 

We wake up, we go to work, we do all the things and the mind starts to swirl.  The glitter starts to wake up too.  

 

We don’t want the thoughts and feeling to go away or push them down in our body.  We just want to be able to see clearly.  When the jar is all shook up, emotions are high, we can’t see clearly.  We can’t think. 

 

For adults, we also need time to calm down, to gather our thoughts, to have a moment and let the glitter settle so we can see and think clearly.  

 

In kids, because their prefrontal cortex is not fully developed, they literally don’t think like we do, and really need time to think and calm themselves down because the neurons in their under-developed brain are like the glitter and firing on all cylinders and not in the way grown-ups process, they are just not developmentally ready.  

 

So the next time you feel out of sorts, take a moment, and think of the glitter jar and let those emotions and thoughts settle a bit. 

 

You can Google “mind in a jar, glitter” and get tons of how-tos to make your own jar and scripts to explain this to your child.   

 

I hope this tip was helpful.  Until next time. 

 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links to Review and Subscribe:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

119-Are You Wearing The Busy Badge?

Today I explore why we are wearing the “busy badge of honor” and if it is making us happier? 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was wondering, does busyness make us happier?  I’ve been wondering if being busy is part of our ego trying to tell us that we are important, people want to hear from us or they need us.  Of course, doing for others and kindness will increase happiness, there is a ton of science to back this up, but I’m wondering if we’ve created a culture of being busy for the sake of being busy.  You know what I mean? 

 

You bump into a friend and they ask how you are? You say “busy”  and you probably feel busy .. but why?  Why do we feel so busy and is it truly bringing us happiness? 

 

In the same sense, maybe you don’t feel busy, but you say it anyway, it’s the reaction, you have some margin, but you also have a lot going on, but you still say “busy”.  I do this all the time.  I’m actually not that busy.  But my initial reaction is to say “busy”. 

 

Is my busyness more important than your busyness… why are we doing this? I wonder if it’s cultural, does this idea that women are running around busy need to change?  

 

I started trying to stop myself, when I heard the word “busy” come out of my mouth, I started to rephrase with abundant or fulfilled or just simply answering the question, I’m good.  Or whatever I’m actually feeling. 

 

I invite you to try it on for size.  Reject the urge to say busy, or just be aware how much we’re saying it and do a little re-frame in your mind.  I think you’ll be like me, and find that not using the busy badge might make you just a tiny bit happier. 

 

And if you enjoyed this episode of Everyday Happiness,make sure that you hit the subscribe button wherever you are tuning into today, so that you never miss an episode. And, if you would be so kind and leave a 5-star review, all of us over here producing this micro-podcast would be so incredibly grateful. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

118-Cheer Up

How to “cheer up” when your mood feels down. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and saying “cheer up” to someone that doesn’t feel like being cheered up is, well, annoying.  And, you might get punched in the throat.  So I’m not going to do that.

 

But, what if you are like me, and you doom scrolled social media for too long or you watched the news or a press conference or something and you feel emotionally exhausted. Like the world is a dumpster fire and it feels like there is just no where to turn.  

 

That’s when you need a “cheer up”  If you’re open to it.  

 

The simplest way to change your mood -- disclaimer, we’re not talking about mental health, we’re talking about light moods.   

 

So the simplest way to change your mood is through acts of kindness toward others. You can start by sending a quick text to someone to brighten their day. Perhaps you write a quite note and put it in the mail.  You will feel a ping of happiness when you do it and you will shed unexpected happiness on another in a couple days.  How fun is that.  

 

The research also indicates that giving to a charity will quickly boost happiness.  Have you been meaning to give $5 to something?  Now is the time, if you want to feel a little cheered up.  Of, and it doesn’t matter how much you spend.  The science indicates the amount has no bearing on happiness. 

 

Maybe an intentional walk, some fresh air would cheer you up. 

 

We have to get out of the doom headspace.  Honestly, sometimes I do 10 jumping jacks or a quick dance party just because I need to shift this energy.  I can feel it.   It feels hopeless and that’s not where I like to be.  

 

If you can, volunteering in person is one way that really bumps up the happiness level.  It makes a big impact on your satisfaction and joy meters.  

 

Making a gratitude list will also help you cheer up! So many things.  So many ideas.  

 

You can do one or all of these, you can layer them and add and expand.      

 

I invite you to save this Cheer-Up episode for future use, it might help.  And of course, if you are not subscribed, hit that subscribe button wherever you listen. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

117-Resilience

Today we’re talking about resilience.  Resilience in kids, how we talk to kids and also how we as adults think about resilience. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and as we start the school year over here in the US, most kids are starting out back in the classroom after being home in 2020 during a global pandemic.  

 

The conversations the parents and administrators are having is striking to me and I think it directly reflects anxiety and uncertainty in adults and probably has less to do about the kids.  

 

I’ve been hearing a lot of conversation about “loss”.  Loss of the last year.  Learning loss is literally in every meeting.  

 

But why aren’t we also talking about “resilience” - I think we, as a society, are doing ourselves a disservice if we’re not celebrating the resilience, both of the parents and the kids.  

 

There are real learning gaps, but this is about reframing from negative, bad and terrible -- you can create self fulfilling prophecies, to instead celebrate what we can do right now to close that gap.  

 

It’s overwhelmingly clear, the majority of us parents totally suck as teachers and were not that good at managing a home classroom over the past year.  Me included.  But we did do some things right.  And I think you could probably tick off a few things you did right.  

 

One way to find out is to ask our kids to write a highlight reel of the last year and talk about the successes.   

 

Adults, we can do this too.  We can write a highlight year that focus our attention to some of the positive. To give proof to the universe of our own resilience.  To prove to ourselves we are resilient.  

 

I invite you to reflect on this past 18 months, and celebrate your resilience.  You’re here, for starters.  You decided to listen to a micro-podcast on happiness, that’s incredible.  You’ve already created one Intentional Margin® today but pressing play for 2 minutes.  I am confident the list goes on and on.  

 

I think sometimes we forget, in the business, of just how much we’ve accomplished and just how resilient we actually are.  

 

And if you enjoyed this episode of Everyday Happiness,make sure that you hit the subscribe button wherever you are tuning into today, so that you never miss an episode. 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

116-Social Media Good Vibes Virtual Coffee Shop

What if social media was like walking into your favorite little coffee shop with the most amazing vibe?

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I want to walk into a coffee shop that has good vibes.  Totally, right?  Well, I’ve been thinking about this concept when it comes to social media.  We’re all in control of what we consume.  This concept was brought to my attention in a call recently in the membership community.  The idea that what we look at, what we listen to, and how we communicate is so important.  Eyes.  Ears.  Mouth.  

 

That means, if your social media is all models and you are trying to lose weight and looking at that stuff makes you feel like crap, you can change that.  You can curate your social media feed.   

 

I can already hear you … but what if my curating of social media means I only see people with similar views, especially politically.  I don’t want to be in an echo chamber.  I love that you are thinking this way. People that listen to this podcast, think globally.  So, I caution you that it can be a slippery slope.  But if a person or a topic is triggering to you, you don’t have to look at it.  And you certainly don’t have to engage.  

 

When I created the Intentional Margins membership community on Facebook, it was designed as a place for inclusivity, and all good vibes! You knew what you were going to get, no matter what, you would be met with kindness and value.  Those are the people we attract and the members don’t put up with negativity.  It’s just not what we do.  

 

So I encourage you to find your tribe.  Whether it’s on social or in real life.  You get to be around people that lift you up.  You get to consume social media for what it was intended to be, fun!  Where you can connect with others and cheer people on, that’s kindness and don’t we all need a little more of that in our day to day.  

 

I look at social media as my virtual coffee shop.  And I get to choose who I sit down next to (and eavesdrop on).  I get to choose who I chat with.  I get to choose who I invite to sit at my table.  I’m in control of the conversation, the tone, the kindness, - it’s my table.  If you don’t want to sit with me, that’s cool, you have your own table too.  We all get a table. We all get to invite whoever we want to sit with us.  And if you want to linger a little longer, have that inspired coffee chat that turns into lunch, then I will invite you to come over to the membership community where we dig in deeper and I can introduce you to others that have the same vibe as you.  

 

Let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and use the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram so we can cheer you on with whatever you are doing!  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

115-In The Moment Experiment Check-In

It’s time to check in.  Here’s to the accountability for practicing mindfulness. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and it’s time for another check-in. Yay for accountability.  

 

So, how’s it going for you?  Are you more aware of yourself after listening to these episodes on being present?  For me, it really highlighted just how much I was not engaged with being present and how much I was rushing and multi-tasking my day. 

 

I’ve learned that joy and happiness is experienced in the present.  The present moment is where our reality takes place.  Right?  It’s exactly now.  

 

So far this exercise has been to slow down, way down.  I rush through everything, I walk fast, I talk fast, I am a busy body around the house, I am always moving and shaking.  When I watch TV, I also check my phone.  So far in this exercise, it’s put a giant spotlight on just how much I am moving from thing to thing without any thought at all.  

 

I think the global pandemic gave a lot of us a pause. Not everyone, but a lot of us.  It certainly did me.  I had the opportunity to take inventory of the things that mattered, that I enjoyed, that brought me happiness and the things that I wanted to let go of.  It was such a natural break that allowed me to take stock and then move forward with more intention.  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

114-Dreaming

Do you dream about the future? If you do, does it make you happy? That’s what we’re exploring today. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’m curious.  Do you have a “dream practice”? I know it sounds super woo-woo, so let me explain.   I was listening to a podcast where the woman said she had a dream practice. It's this idea that you write for 15 minutes a day as the first thing of the day and capture your dreams, your future, and what you want to manifest.  It’s a spiritual practice. 

 

Well, first thing in the morning doesn’t work for me, it’s not when I’m in my woo-woo frame of mind, but maybe that’s a good time for you.  Like my friend Jenna says, there are a million ways to do anything, pick what works for you.   

 

I guess it’s this idea that we want to manifest what we want and if we go through the days without knowing where we’re going, how will we know if we got there? 

 

I think some people do this in meditation and it’s called future visioning.  The idea is certainly not new, but I hadn’t heard it called a “dream practice” before and that seems more fun, to me.  

 

When we have a vision for our future, one that lights our hair on fire, I think it can bring us more happiness. Now, some scientists and researchers will say that we only truly have happiness by what we experience in the present.  So, I’m still chewing on this concept myself.  I like the idea of having something to look forward to.  I feel satisfaction and joy in the planning of the trip, not just the experience of the vacation. So I would argue that this happiness research is not one size fits all and that you get to draw from this and take what works for you.  

 

And I’m not alone.  Sonja Lyubomirski, a leading happiness researcher, explains in her book The How of Happiness, how dreaming of your best self works.  She says “To try it out, sit in a quiet place, and take twenty to thirty minutes to think about what you expect your life to be one, five, or ten years from now. Visualize a future for yourself in which everything has turned out the way you’ve wanted. You have tried your best, worked hard, and achieved all your goals. Now write down what you imagine.”

 

This science says technique can boost your positive emotions and boost your optimism which I think is very cool.  

 

When you have a vision that excites you, that lights your hair on fire, I think you have hope - and that’s fun.  At least it is for me.    Do you have a dream that excites you  Spread it out into the Universe, tag me on social and let’s spread more dreams together.  You can find me at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram  

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/