Everyday Happiness - Finding Harmony and Bliss

133- Being Curious

Ted Lasso, a TV show on Apple TV, is an example of how curiosity over judgment wins every time.  If I’m feeling judgy-judgy I can ask myself, what would Ted Lasso do?  

 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and back to the show Ted Lasso, which I am obsessed with, there is a theme that is so in your face, bring shining lights, that as humans, if we can be curious instead of judgmental perhaps we can create a different life for ourselves, and others.  

 

I find this fascinating, because I am the first one to raise my hand and say that I can be judgemental.  If I said anything else, you would think I was lying.  We’re all a little judgemental at times, right?  Some times more than others, some things are hard and fast personal beliefs and the other side of the coin is all kinds of judgement.  I get it.  I live in the US where this seems to be our go-to culture.  

 

So I wonder, is Ted Lasso trying to change this?  Is this TV show, in some small way, reminding people that curiosity almost always wins over judgement.  Of course, it doesn’t mean we have to agree.  Ted doesn’t always agree.  But he is always curious.  And that I find incredibly endearing.  

 

If I’m feeling judgy-judgy I can ask myself, what would Ted Lasso do?  How cool is that, that we were given a character that reminds us of curiosity and human decency.  Oh gosh, I hope Ted Lasso never changes.  The TV show is not over, but for now, I’m inspired to ask What would Ted Lasso do? 

 

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And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

 

132-Managing Time For Increased Happiness Using Intentional Margins® Part 2 of 2

You’re on the hamster wheel of todos, the tightrope of life, you’re spinning all the plates, you’re juggling all the balls… creating any leisure time sounds like a dream, but what if it’s not?

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and yesterday we talked about what to do with free time, when you have too much.  And today, I’m sharing with you three tips from a recent Washington Post article that disects this new research.  

 

How many of us feel like you’re on the hamster wheel of todos, the tightrope of life, you are spinning all the plates, you are juggling all the balls … There is a reason there are so many analogies to this feeling of not enough time to get it all done.  Most of us are in the thick of it.  

 

First, let’s talk about Intentional Margins®, the buffer of space and time to create harmony between our todos and our priorities.   The first step is identifying your priorities and what really matters to you in this big wide life we’re living. 

 

The research says you take a look at your schedule and cut what’s not important.  What is not a priority.  I think that’s easier said than done and likely, this happens over a number of weeks, to really extract yourself from commitments that are not priorities.  

 

Priorities can and should be for a season, a week, a day.  They evolve and you pivot.  

 

Have margin for spontaneous free time.  Instead of planning that leisure time, just have some time for that spontaneous walk with a friend or a quick coffee date.  

 

Lastly, the research suggests that we should find two hours a day where nothing is scheduled.  Two hours is the minimum of leisure time we should have every single day, no matter what.  The article points out that “it  doesn’t all have to come at the same time. Coffee breaks, short walks and reading or watching TV count toward your discretionary time. One of the researchers, Holmes says in this piece. “The important thing is that you carve out a couple hours in your day, and that you’re spending it in ways you want — not on obligations.” 

 

So, where are you spending your time?  I’m curious if you have at least 2-hours a day for leisure? 

 

Until next time, hit the subscribe button and share this micro-podcast with friends, we’d be so grateful.  

 

Inspired by this article in The Washington Post, Why having too much free time can be as bad for you as having too little.

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

131-Managing Time For Increased Happiness Using Intentional Margins® Part 1 of 2

Managing too much time? What does that mean if we have too much time on our hands and how do we create happiness if we don’t feel like we have anything to do with our time?  

 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I am fascinated by this article in the Washington Post about having too much time on your hands and how it can affect your happiness.   It dissects new research about how we should be spending that illusive free time.  

 

This plays hand and hand to my concept of Intentional Margins®, which is a buffer of space and time to create harmony between our todos and our priorities.   

 

We owe it to ourselves and the people we love to decide what matters most.   

 

Based on the results of the research, there are a few tips from experts on how to optimize your free time to increase your sense of well-being.

 

If you feel like you have too much leisure time one way to optimize that time for happiness is to choose your activities wisely.  Do something productive like a new hobby or getting outside for a walk.  One of the authors of the study, Fritz says, but “in this context, ‘productive’ means worthwhile or fulfilling, rather than contributing to the greater good. For some people, it might be sitting on the beach watching the waves, and for others, it’s volunteering or renovating the house.” 

 

Of course, this new research is right in line with previous research that connecting with others almost always makes you feel happy.  So like the first tip,, choose wisely and connect with someone that lifts you up.  

 

Finally, flip your perspective, as we discussed in Episode, 129, if you can find the silver lining, including being totally ok with putting your feet up with a good book, then happiness will flow. 

 

Tomorrow we’ll talk about free time when you don’t feel like you have any at all and what the science says will help alleviate some of the overwhelm. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

130-Can Too Much Time On Our Hands Reduce Our Happiness?

It’s fascinating the science around time and happiness.  Today, we’re we’re exploring how we use our time for increased happiness. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I read this article in the Washington Post about having too much time on your hands and how it can affect your happiness.   

 

The article starts out with the premise, a situation we’ve all been in, I’m sure.   

 

“Have you ever had one of those days — that turned into weeks — when you had approximately 645 things to do and not a single minute for leisure time? Like many of us, Cassie Mogilner Holmes sometimes feels as if she lives in that state. She also — and this will probably sound familiar — has entertained the idea of trading all those obligations for a desert island.”

 

That seems pretty spot on.  Holmes, a professor at UCLA did some research about whether leaving it all behind for a deserted island will actually make people happier, and, spoiler alert, the answer is no.  

 

But what’s fascinating is that according to the science, “an individual’s well-being increases in correlation with their free time — but only to a certain point. Although having too little free time isn’t healthy, having too much also diminishes well-being.” 

 

This is why I believe Intentional Margins® are so important.  It’s not the deserted island,but instead the buffer of space and time to live in your priorities, including sleep, reading a book, meditating, anything that you enjoy in your free time.  We were not meant to be stuck on the hamster wheel of todos, that’s not how we were intended to live.  We were meant to live in connection with other humans and have harmony in how we spend our limited time.  

 

And now, there is one more example of how science proves it.   Until next time, I invite you to do something just for you today.  Take a short walk, take some deep breaths, call a friend or message me on social media. We actually respond to our messages.  We’re over @everydayhappinesswithkatie 

 

Inspired by this article in The Washington Post, Why having too much free time can be as bad for you as having too little.

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

129-Synthetic Happiness

Can we really make more happiness and does it work the same?  The science might surprise you.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and what we know now from science out of Yale and Harvard Business School is that synthetic happiness brings you the same joy as organic happiness (winning the lottery, getting a perfect parking spot - when we get what we want, we get a jolt of happiness). 

 

As an adolescent, I didn’t feel like I belonged.  I grew up in a small town in MN, 2006 people in the middle of a cornfield.  I felt like I had no way out. 

 

As humans, we yearn to BELONG, It is scientifically in our DNA. 

 

The emotional trauma of not feeling like you had good friends or people that really understand you can be devastating.  

 

What I did, unbeknownst to me at the time. Was manufactured synthetic happiness.   

 

The “glass is always ½ full”   Synthetic happiness is what we make when we don't get what we want.  It’s looking on the bright side. It’s making lemons into lemonade.  Harvard Professor Daniel Gilbert uses the term “synthetic happiness” to refer to happiness that comes from our good thoughts about events that may seem bad at first. 

 

Like I mentioned, manufactured, synthetic happiness brings you the same joy as organic happiness.

 

My way out of a place I didn’t feel like I fit in was big dreams of law school, where I thought, was a way to make enough money, to have choices.  I did achieve my dream of becoming a lawyer - but I had this tug on me, there was something else.  

 

So while it was a means to an end so a season of life, it wasn’t all of my life.  I mean, now, I’m here, with you, talking about happiness, which completely lights my hair on fire.   

 

So, today, I invite you to make some lemonade and be thoughtful about the way you think of something that may not be perfectly happy right now. 

 

Until next time, click that subscribe button, write a 5-star review and let’s connect over on social @ everydayhappinesswithkatie.  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

128-The Ted Lasso Effect on Success

Success (as in more money), never makes us happier in the long run.  The science is clear on that.  Ted Lasso is teaching us an even more important message that success may not matter at all if you don’t have people around you to celebrate with you and care about you.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and the science indicates that how successful you are does not contribute to your ultimate happiness.  Which got me thinking about the Ted Lasso style of success.  You see, his football team, Richmond, is terrible and everyone knows it.  But that doesn’t stop Ted and his teammates from loving the game and playing to win, whether they ultimately win or not.  

 

One of the characters loved the game so much that he says “football is life” all the time.   

 

And I think that it’s so easy to get caught up in the next big pay raise, the promotion, the advancement when really, the science indicates that the excitement from achieving that milestone is very short lived on the happiness scale.  That’s called hedonic adaptation, where people return to a baseline after a good or bad experience.  The feeling doesn’t last as long as you think. 

 

In fact the things that increase happiness the most have nothing to do with money.  If you want to increase happiness, make time for meaningful relationships.

 

The fact is if you had more, you were a multi-millionaire, you would still want more and you wouldn’t be truly happy with all that money, you would just be stressed about where to park your yacht.  

 

What Ted does in this show is connect in a meaningful way with people and truly want the best for the individual whether the team wins or loses.  I’m still in the middle of Season Two, but I have a feeling if you are investing and building people from the inside, the work success will follow.  In this case, I hope to see Richmond win more games.  We’ll see.  

 

And if you enjoyed this episode of Everyday Happiness,make sure that you hit the subscribe button wherever you are tuning into today, so that you never miss an episode. 

 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

127-The Ted Lasso Effect

The Ted Lasso effect and how contagious it is to spread radical kindness.   

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and if you haven’t watched Ted Lasso yet, it’s a feel-good TV show that streams on Apple TV.  I’m a huge fan of the show because it shows the main character, Ted, as a really nice person and sharing so much kindness without any strings attached.  

 

What ends up happening in the show, and I won’t spoil anything, is that Ted’s selfless acts of kindness and true compassion for the people he encounters end up creating the Ted Lasso effect  of happiness.  He makes people’s lives better by not being a jerk.  

 

Going the extra step, as he often does, is probably what people need most - in real life - and you can see that all over the show. Every life that Ted Lasso touches transforms for the better, it’s his action of radical kindness, sprinkled with some empathy, that makes people's lives better and they are happier.  

 

It’s actually contagious, those people that Ted Lasso is radically kind to in the show, they turn around and have more kindness and empathy for the other characters they encounter. 

 

What’s really cool is that the research says that there is behavioral contagion, when you are kind to someone, they will most likely be kind to another.  This principle, rooted in scientific data, is not just a feel-good story on TV, we can all practice radical kindness in our everyday lives.  

 

And that, my friends, makes me very happy.   So, who’s joining me and spreading a little radical kindness today?  I’d love to hear what you are doing, so make sure you tag me on social or send me a private message.  We’re over @everydayhappinesswithkatie.  

 

Until next time, let’s spread kindness.  

 

 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

126-Everyday Happiness Out In The Wild

 

 

Showing up with kindness with no strings attached. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and back in Episode 116 I mentioned how social media is like my virtual coffee shop.  It’s how I choose to show up and interpret all the things I scroll by.  Well, the other day, I was scrolling by a friends post that was so heartwarming, it’s worth sharing this little story here, for you. 

 

He said he was at the airport, and had the dreaded Southwest Airline C boarding group.  Rather than be grumpy he thought to himself - what would Ted Lasso do? So he chatted up a lovely mother & daughter celebrating the moms 90th birthday. They went ahead and boarded. When he got on the plane all he saw was an ocean of middle seats….but they had saved him the best seat on the flight, right in front.  When he landed in West Palm Beach, Florida, he completed the karma circle by getting their bags and helping them to their Uber. The best part is he said in his post, “life is so easy and enjoyable when you are nice to people”.   And I couldn’t agree more.  

 

My friend wasn’t nice to “get” anything in return. He was just nice.  And even more importantly is this real life example that kindness is contagious.  

 

If you haven’t watched Ted Lasso yet, it’s a feel-good TV show that streams on Apple TV.  I’m a huge fan of the show because it shows the main character, Ted, as a really nice person and sharing so much kindness without any strings attached.  

 

If you feel called to spread a little kindness, share Everyday Happiness with your friends, subscribe to the show wherever you listen, write a 5-star review (Amazon and Apple links are in the show notes) and be part of the wave of early adopters that believe happiness and kindness matters.  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

125-Everyday Happiness

Everyday happiness showed up in my mailbox yesterday.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and what made me happy yesterday was our first holiday catalog in the mail. At the time of this recording, it’s October 3rd. So we’re not quite into the holiday season yet, but this signified the upcoming season of merriment and twinkle lights, two things I love so much.  The front of the catalog was a photo of a beautiful christmas tree and a baby unwrapping a present.  The inside was selling me all the things I needed to decorate my house for Fall, here in the US, and the upcoming holiday season.  

 

I didn’t buy anything in the catalog, but the holiday cheer in October was super fun and unexpected.  So it got me thinking.  There are so many things that bring us joy, if we are open to seeing them.  I wonder if we get so caught up in the busy and the hustle and the doing that we don’t even realize the bursts of happiness all around us. 

 

So my challenge for you totoday, if you choose to accept it, is to identify one thing, that you notice, that makes you happy, given you a little tingly feeling.  That turns up the corners of your mouth.  I bet that you’ll be surprised there is more than you think. 

And if you enjoyed this episode of Everyday Happiness,make sure that you hit the subscribe button wherever you are tuning into today, so that you never miss an episode.  And give us a 5-star review so that we can grow and share kindness and happiness with others. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

124-The Intentional Margins IMpact Method (encore)

Exploring the INTENTIONAL MARGINS® I-M-P-A-C-T method for finding and creating your own Intentional Margin®.

  

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are talking about my concept INTENTIONAL MARGINS®.  

 

INTENTIONAL MARGINS® is finding the buffer of space and time to create harmony between our todos and our priorities.  

 

The INTENTIONAL MARGINS® method is called I-M-P-A-C-T.  

I-M is the words INTENTIONAL MARGINS

P - Priorities (what and why)

A - Action Items (how)  

C - Calendar (what gets calendared gets done)

T - Timely Evaluation of the PAC (are your action items completed and reaching your intended priority goal)

 

Example: 

I want to spend time with my husband. 

Why:  because I want a healthy marriage that is seperate from raising kids  

How:  coffee chat in the morning. 

-- quarterly getaway, date night.  There are a million ways to do anything, you get to decide what works for you. 

Calendar:  time blocked on my calendar so calls don’t get scheduled. 

Timely:  review monthly and see if this is still both working for us. 

 

Look, this stuff takes practice, we’re always tweaking for ourselves.  If you want to dig in more with like minded women, we open it a couple times a year, get on the waitlist over at www.katiejefcoat.com/community 

 

Let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/