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Do you feel overwhelmed with your todo list? Is "creating fulfilling happiness" missing from that list? Everyday Happiness with Katie Jefcoat is here to help you. In 2-minutes a day, over time, you’ll discover how to reduce overwhelm and create lasting happiness through Katie’s signature method of Intentional Margins, happiness science, and musings about life. Start your day with a positive mindset. Many of us can get deep in the feeling of overwhelm. The anxiety of our own ambition can weigh heavily on our thoughts and emotions. We lay down and close our eyes at night and our chest begins to feel heavy. More items on the to-do list than the day before. How will we ever going to get off the hamster wheel of to-dos? When are we going to start living life for more than the hustle? As a recovering lawyer and passion driven entrepreneur, Katie knew something had to change. What she found is that you can have harmony, be intentionally productive and create massive impact, all at the same time - without feeling guilty. So she asked herself a simple question: "How can I get off the hamster wheel and how can I show others how to do the same? She knew she'd had a system for herself, but she’d never put it into defining words. On August 15, 2019, she sat down at her dining room table with her friend Jenna (her business bestie). Post-It notes covering the table. This is where she first defined the concept of Intentional Margins. What are Intentional Margins? INTENTIONAL MARGINS™ (n): A buffer of space and time to create harmony between your to-do’s and your priorities. Now you can get the support you need to manage your overwhelm, one little tip at a time. Regardless of the industry, Everyday Happiness blends inspiration with a pragmatic approach to finding Harmony. You'll be encouraged to throw “balance” out the window for a more achievable approach called harmony. Through Intentional Margins™, you'll be encouraged to develop what harmony means to you, by identifying your priorities at work and at home. Every day, we'll end the podcast help you feel equipped to jump off the hamster wheel of overwhelm and go out there and crush your day. --About the Host-- Katie Jefcoat is a community curator, speaker, author and motivator who supports ambitious women (and a few good men) move from feeling hectic to harmonious. As a recovering trial lawyer, she knows first hand what it feels like to have a demanding job. As an entrepreneur with a passion that lights her hair on fire and a busy family she’s in the thick of it with you. Many people strive for balance and think overwhelm is just a part of life. Sadly, the hustle culture and our never-ending to-do list is creating a life where our priorities are getting the leftover scraps of time. Katie introduces people to what she calls - Intentional Margins™ - a kind of life in which they reduce randomness, create harmony between their to-dos and their priorities and intentionally enjoy the meaningful parts of life - without feeling guilty. Without exposure to a different way, we remain stuck on the hamster wheel of to-dos and never find the “balance” we yearn for. Katie works diligently to expose her community to different ways of doing things, because she fundamentally believes we deserve to make time for our priorities. We deserve to live a life of harmony. And it’s within our control to create it. Katie curates a smorgasbord of content related to managing your calendar, handling overwhelm, setting boundaries, reducing randomness, saying no, self-care, the power of your choices, and more in her Intentional Margins™ Membership Community -- which she calls the coziest virtual coffee shop (on Facebook). Connect and learn more at www.katiejefcoat.com.
Episodes
Monday Nov 01, 2021
Monday Nov 01, 2021
Hey friend! This is your reminder that you get to be happy.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been digging in to this happiness science and specifically the guilt some people are having for being happy. Maybe the global pandemic didn’t crush you like it did others, and you feel guilty. We look around, we see so much injustice, politics, and vitriol. And it makes us question our personal happiness.
What the researchers say is that we get to be happy even in the face of all this heaviness.
We can frame happiness in a way where we get to be happy and also not negate the injustices in the world. Injustice should not preclude our own happiness.
A lot of the happiness science indicates that happiness is up to you. It’s why you can read about prisoners who were jailed for a crime they didn’t commit and they were happy in prison and happy when they got out, and you wonder, how did you survive?
Of course there are injustices, we are seeing a lot of them these past few years, and we should speak up, if we are called to do that, but those injustices should not preclude our happiness.
Today, I want to leave you with a powerful quote I saw recently and invite you to be your happiest self.
Nelson Mandella said: “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemy”.
Wow, that’s powerful. Until next time.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Sunday Oct 31, 2021
Sunday Oct 31, 2021
tf our brains were Google, then we’ve got to close all the tabs. A mental parking lot is a perfect tool to free up our mental capacity.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I wanted to share a time management course done by my friend Ryan. I completed the course the other day, 6 quick Youtube videos. And he has a concept in it that I’ve heard before but this time, it sounded a little different. You know how sometimes you have to hear things over and over again and then it sticks or it finally resonates.
Well this exercise was creating a mental parking lot. I love this because I think a lot of our overwhelm comes from what’s in our head. We’re constantly thinking about everything that we need to do now and much much later. It’s exhausting to carry all of these todos, ideas, thoughts in our heads that spin up that mental capacity.
He says, you can have a notepad or the notes on your phone to create two parking lots. I have mine in the back of my paper planner which has some note pages. You create headings for a short term parking lot and a long term parking lot. The idea of splitting up your thoughts or todos in a time-frame is really interesting. The long term parking lot is what he calls your “crock pot” the things that are simmering that definitely don’t need to be done this week, and likely even a longer timeframe, but the tab in your brain is open and we need to close it so we stop expending energy on trying to remember it.
I’m curious, how do you think this would work for you? Scientifically, Our brains were never meant to store data, they were designed to be creative and logical thinking, so it’s a terrible use of our brains to try to remember things. I’m all in on creating a mental parking lot. I think it will take a lot of tasks off my daily todo list that I already knew I couldn’t accomplish today and get rid of some of that clutter in my brain, like having too many tabs open on the web browser.
A link to Ryan’s course, Take Control of Your Time can be found in the show notes HERE.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Saturday Oct 30, 2021
Saturday Oct 30, 2021
Today we re-frame the way you might be thinking about boundaries.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and since we’ve been talking recently about time management, energy management and identifying priorities, we have to dig into boundaries just a little.
I want to re-frame the way you might be thinking about boundaries. I think there is a misconception that boundaries are a situation where I tell you how you need to behave around me and that is boundaries. But that’s not actually boundaries. We can’t control others’ behavior - right - that’s just a request. I request that you not yell at me when you are angry, it's’ not you can’t yell at me. It’s what I am willing to endure. It’s my request that you not yell at me.
I believe it is more helpful to identify boundaries with yourself. What are your boundaries and how are you going to act if someone breaches your boundaries?
My boundary with myself is what I am going to do if this person yells at me. I will say “hey, I am going to leave this conversation” my personal boundary has been breached. Whatever the boundary is, it’s with yourself.
I have a close relative that likes to blame everything wrong in life on politics, specifically the “other side”. When this happens, I don’t like to hear about it. So I can set a boundary and say, when the conversation turns political, I will need to politely say goodbye and end the conversation. We can talk again at another time.
Notice, how I am holding the boundary for myself. It’s not about what the other person does, but about how I respond to that activity if it’s really a hard line for me.
Thinking through these situations in advance is very helpful in coming up with an authentic and calming response to a known situation so that you can establish a clear and gentle boundary.
This could be as simple as I don’t take calls between 8:00-8:30 in the morning because it’s when I am focused on getting my kids out the door for school. It’s not only my Intentional Margin®, but It’s my boundary. Perhaps something comes up that is really important and I take a call or a meeting, that’s ok, it’s not rigid, but it’s also not on the regular. It’s harmony, it’s not perfection.
I invite you to define one personal boundary you want to work on and let us know over on social what you decided and how it’s going. We’re at @everydayhappinesswithkatie.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Friday Oct 29, 2021
Friday Oct 29, 2021
It’s time to pop the bubbly, grab your steaming cup of coffee because today is a B-I-G day! We’re celebrating 100 Everyday Happiness Episodes.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are breaking out the bubbly, throwing the confetti and celebrating 150 episodes of Everyday Happiness. And it’s all because of you. It’s truly nothing short of amazing and we’re humbled and grateful to be celebrating 150 episodes and can’t wait for 150 more.
We are 100% feeding off of your energy, whether that’s on a 5-star review (that you so much), on social media, in my email if you get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox, on Amazon Alexa flash briefings or, if I see you on the street. It is seriously one of the most fun and fulfilling projects I’ve done and we could not be more excited about where we’re headed - together.
One thing I know for sure, is that when you lock arms with the right people, magic happens and that’s how I feel about this community of listeners. This is to celebrate you! Thank you for sharing the episodes and the social media quote cards and telling your friends to subscribe.
This project takes a village and I would be remiss if I didn’t shout out Blessy, our chief of everything over here at Everyday Happiness, who drops into the DMs, makes those amazing graphics you see on social media - I mean, who doesn’t love a good quote - and so much more. And Jeimy who mixes sound and makes sure the audio gets published on all the platforms exactly when it’s supposed to. There is so much work behind the scenes and it takes a village and I feel like I have the best village.
So, to you, the listener, I want to say Thank you for your support, your loyalty and your online friendship. We feel it. We really do. We feel like we have a marketing team out there working with us to spread kindness and happiness through this micro-podcast and I know, together, we will do big things.
Cheers to you and the next 150 Episodes! With an abundantly overflowing grateful heart, I’m Katie and I’m so glad you are here.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Thursday Oct 28, 2021
Thursday Oct 28, 2021
When I was talking with a friend about how guilty she was feeling when it came to how she was spending her time, we realized the root cause of her guilt was focusing on where she was not.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was talking to a friend the other day about how she was feeling pulled in every direction. No matter what she was doing, she had this enormous sense of guilt, that she wasn’t doing enough. She was feeling like crap that she left her kids to go to work, a job she loves and finds fulfilling, and she was feeling like crap when she was at home and constantly checking email - just in case something came in.
What we discovered was the root cause of her guilt was focusing on where she was not. Her head was full of guilt for the place her body was not. Her focus was off and she couldn’t shake it. Of course she was feeling pulled and completely out of control.
We talked about how, despite the 478 items on her todo list, she needed to get more sleep. I find that it is so much easier to tackle these emotions with a clear head when you are not starved for sleep. And so many of us moms are getting that dopamine hit by checking the boxes on the todo list at the expense of our sleep. In my opinion, that’s a mistake. When you are tired, everything feels harder.
We also beat ourselves up for the 3 of the 35 things we didn’t get done. We can’t focus on that. We need to re-frame how we talk to ourselves.
So when I was talking with this friend, we identified her priorities in this season. And it wasn’t like her family never matters, of course they do. But also, they are not so high that nothing else matters. That's not realistic. So we talked about this season. The harmony between doing and having it all.
What matters to you will be determined by the season you are in. So that you will be spending time on what matters most to you right now, knowing the season and your priorities will change.
So friend, this is your invitation to take a deep breath, go to sleep early, tomorrow is a new day and we were never meant to be robots, we were not created to do it all and that’s ok. I’m rooting for you.
And, if you found this micro-podcast helpful. Share it with a friend. Growing our audience allows us to give more and show up bigger for you.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Wednesday Oct 27, 2021
Wednesday Oct 27, 2021
When we reduce distractions we have time for what matters most, our priorities.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and part of identifying your priorities is to also stop doing what doesn’t matter. What doesn’t actually make you happy.
I would guess most of us, myself included, could spend less time on our cell phones. You know, the little computers in our pockets that have been designed by multi-billion dollar tech companies to distract us every second of the day.
For me, I don’t even realize I’m looking at my phone half the time. It’s clinical. The science suggests we get a dopamine hit every time we get a ding notification, see an email or anything else on that phone. That’s why companies do it. It’s highly addictive.
Distractions might also be Netflix, social media (on the phone or not). Sometimes a distraction is what Christy Wright says in her book Take Back Your Time, that a distraction can be “making other people's problems your problem” Are you a helper by nature? Yeah, this is when she used the example of volunteering to coach her son’s soccer team because they didn’t have a coach, and she could technically do it - she had played soccer, she knew the rules of the game. So she said yes. And what happened, she didn’t like it. She was over-stretched and it wasn’t lighting her up. She didn’t have clear boundaries and she took on something that wasn’t aligned with her priorities in that season.
I invite you to look at your calendar and maybe even review the past few days or keep a note of what you do today and the next few days and look at where the distractions pop up for you. I think you’ll be surprised.
Until next time. I’d be so humbled if you’d write a 5-star review for us.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Tuesday Oct 26, 2021
Tuesday Oct 26, 2021
When we are in harmony with our todos and our priorities, when we are mostly doing the right things in the right season, we can’t help but feel happiness. When we are happy, we can’t help but be less stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and when we talk about balance and harmony and fulfillment, I believe what we are really after is happiness. The definition of happiness is a two pronged definition. 1) happiness emotions, joy, contentment, love, positive emotions with 2) satisfaction and purpose. Together, you get well-rounded happiness - life fulfillment.
In her 2007 book The How of Happiness, positive psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky (LU-BO-MER-SKE) elaborates, describing happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”
How can you have a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile if you are overwhelmed, over-tasked and so busy that you fall to your pillow every night with a todo list longer than when you started in the morning.
When we are in harmony with our todos and our priorities, when we are mostly doing the right things in the right season, we can’t help but feel happiness. When we are happy, we can’t help but be less stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed.
You can’t hold two emotions at the same time. So for happiness to win, we need to create that harmony and work specifically on that second prong of the happiness definition - satisfaction and purpose.
I can tell you what makes me happy (and fulfilled) in the first prong, it’s spreading random acts of kindness and spending time with my friends. A beautiful dinner out. Snuggling with my kids. Watching the waves of any ocean. Spending time with my husband, having a conversation. That’s all the first prong.
What satisfies the second prong of happiness for me is order. I need order in my day and my life. That looks like a tidy kitchen, a calendar that is not double-booked and with time to breathe. That also looks like researching and writing and recording this micro-podcast. My work feels purposeful and that contributes to my happiness.
So, what I do is intentionally incorporate these things into my life, in the season that they are most valuable to me, which not only helps me feel in harmony when I am so busy, but also happy. And isn’t that what we’re all after?
What this comes down to is that no one can make you happy. No one can change your life for you. That’s a job only you can do. And it starts with intention.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Monday Oct 25, 2021
Monday Oct 25, 2021
I can give you all of the time management tricks in the book, but you still won’t feel balanced or happy. You will still be yearning for something more. It’s because balance doesn’t come from a perfectly color coded schedule. It comes from a feeling. That’s why you can be busy and feel in harmony.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and as we’re talking about time and priorities lately, I want to highlight that it’s not about doing all the things. It’s about doing the RIGHT things at the RIGHT time, As YOU define YOUR version of balance, AND you PURSUE IT.
Like my friend Jenna always says, there are a million ways to do anything. What we’re doing in this series is deciding what’s right for us individually.
Then you will FEEL this sense of balance that you’ve wanted all along.
Time management isn’t going to get you what you need. You could have everything perfectly planned out. But if you FEEL out of balance, you will still feel overwhelmed and stressed and when we are in those feelings, it’s almost impossible to also feel happiness.
I invite you to ask yourself, WHAT’S RIGHT, RIGHT NOW? You get to answer that, for yourself. In this season, what is the priority?
Life balance is doing the RIGHT things at the RIGHT time, so that you can feel balanced in a busy and often an out of balance world.
I can give you all of the time management tricks in the book, but you still won’t feel balanced or happy. You will still be yearning for something more. I’ve heard you say that you are looking for that balance, harmony, fulfillment, happiness … they’re all the same desire. And time management is a trick to think you’ll get there. But you won’t. I’ve been there. It’s because balance doesn’t come from a perfectly color coded schedule. (I know, I’ve got one) It comes from a feeling. That’s why you can be busy and feel in harmony. It’s when we’re doing the right things at the right time.
That’s what we’re after and why this micro-podcast will give you inspiration and tools to help you along the way. Like setting Intentional Margins® - time for your priority today - science to prove why certain things actually help increase our happiness.
I hope this is helpful. If you are enjoying this micro-podcast, I’d love for you to smash that subscribe button, leave a review and if you want to share anything with us, jump into our DMs over @everydayhappinesswithkatie
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Sunday Oct 24, 2021
Sunday Oct 24, 2021
We can be busy and feel balanced and in harmony, if we are doing the right things in this season.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and we’ve been talking about how we spend our time and our priorities because I believe that when we look at our calendar it represents our priorities and when we feel out of balance, it’s often not because we have every minute scheduled. We might, but it's more about not doing the right things at the right time. If we are doing what’s right for us, right now, we can be super busy and still feel balanced.
If we are doing what matters most, for a good part of the day, and we know why we are doing it, we will feel more in harmony, more balance.
That’s why I am so passionate about Intentional Margins and taking the time to identify your priorities in this season, because it will be the shining light, the guide, the clarity, the filter for you to make choices on what you say yes to and what you say no to - in this season.
I have a friend, her high-schooler is struggling at school. I am sure so many parents can relate to the season when the older kids need more. She’s not driving yet, so she needs a ride to the study tutor and she needs a parent at home to help her stay on task with her homework. My friend is in a season where her time is spent with one of her kids, just being there. And she’s saying no to wine night and book club and she’s running (something that is a priority for her mental and physical fitness) in the mornings instead of the evenings, because her priorities have shifted to working with her child through her child’s season of figuring some things out.
When my friend tries to double-book and do one more thing, her harmony falls apart. She’s more short tempered with her child - which she recognizes and doesn’t like. She’s more stressed personally by trying to make it work and at the end, she doesn't feel better about trying to squeeze in one more thing.
Balance is never about how much time you have. It’s always about how you feel. You can be busy and balanced. Most of us are very very busy, I am not saying to be balanced you need to reduce ½ of your commitments, that would be insane. What I am saying is that you can take a look at your commitments and decide what needs to stay, what needs to go, and what matters in this season.
Until next time, happy prioritizing.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Saturday Oct 23, 2021
Saturday Oct 23, 2021
Let’s talk about creating your ideal week. This is where we start.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and there is this concept of your ideal week. Lots of people have used and taught this concept, it’s certainly not new and it’s not my idea, but as a curator, I want to bring you these great ideas as it relates to creating harmony and happiness.
I think once we achieve a little more harmony in our busy lives, we can feel happier and isn’t that the goal after all?
The concept of the idea week is that you pull out a blank weekly calendar that has times on the margin from 6 am to 10 pm or something like that. You can google a free printable off the internet.
Once you put in your weekly recurring non-negotiables, you create a visual to see what time is left in the week. For example, if you work a traditional 9-5 job, you would block out that time. For my family, we have a family meeting at 8-8:30am before I start the drive to school drop offs, so that time is blocked on my calendar. And then the next 45 minutes for driving around town.
Perhaps you have a standing Wednesday night book club or painting class. If that is a priority that goes on your ideal week. This also allows you to really think about that book club and ask yourself, is this something that I want to spend my time doing in this season?
Next, I encourage you to add time for what matters. Perhaps it’s your value of connection with others. Do you have time on your calendar for connecting with others? You can time block Thursday nights for “connection” and make plans with different people each week. Do you need down-time to recharge? When you look at your calendar of commitments, are you getting enough down-time, do you need to re-calibrate?
I’m curious, what does your Ideal week look like? Where are you finding you have more or less time than you thought? Are you going to make any changes? Send me a message @everydayhappinesswithkatie and I’d be happy to help you work through your ideal week.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/