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Do you feel overwhelmed with your todo list? Is "creating fulfilling happiness" missing from that list? Everyday Happiness with Katie Jefcoat is here to help you. In 2-minutes a day, over time, you’ll discover how to reduce overwhelm and create lasting happiness through Katie’s signature method of Intentional Margins, happiness science, and musings about life. Start your day with a positive mindset. Many of us can get deep in the feeling of overwhelm. The anxiety of our own ambition can weigh heavily on our thoughts and emotions. We lay down and close our eyes at night and our chest begins to feel heavy. More items on the to-do list than the day before. How will we ever going to get off the hamster wheel of to-dos? When are we going to start living life for more than the hustle? As a recovering lawyer and passion driven entrepreneur, Katie knew something had to change. What she found is that you can have harmony, be intentionally productive and create massive impact, all at the same time - without feeling guilty. So she asked herself a simple question: "How can I get off the hamster wheel and how can I show others how to do the same? She knew she'd had a system for herself, but she’d never put it into defining words. On August 15, 2019, she sat down at her dining room table with her friend Jenna (her business bestie). Post-It notes covering the table. This is where she first defined the concept of Intentional Margins. What are Intentional Margins? INTENTIONAL MARGINS™ (n): A buffer of space and time to create harmony between your to-do’s and your priorities. Now you can get the support you need to manage your overwhelm, one little tip at a time. Regardless of the industry, Everyday Happiness blends inspiration with a pragmatic approach to finding Harmony. You'll be encouraged to throw “balance” out the window for a more achievable approach called harmony. Through Intentional Margins™, you'll be encouraged to develop what harmony means to you, by identifying your priorities at work and at home. Every day, we'll end the podcast help you feel equipped to jump off the hamster wheel of overwhelm and go out there and crush your day. --About the Host-- Katie Jefcoat is a community curator, speaker, author and motivator who supports ambitious women (and a few good men) move from feeling hectic to harmonious. As a recovering trial lawyer, she knows first hand what it feels like to have a demanding job. As an entrepreneur with a passion that lights her hair on fire and a busy family she’s in the thick of it with you. Many people strive for balance and think overwhelm is just a part of life. Sadly, the hustle culture and our never-ending to-do list is creating a life where our priorities are getting the leftover scraps of time. Katie introduces people to what she calls - Intentional Margins™ - a kind of life in which they reduce randomness, create harmony between their to-dos and their priorities and intentionally enjoy the meaningful parts of life - without feeling guilty. Without exposure to a different way, we remain stuck on the hamster wheel of to-dos and never find the “balance” we yearn for. Katie works diligently to expose her community to different ways of doing things, because she fundamentally believes we deserve to make time for our priorities. We deserve to live a life of harmony. And it’s within our control to create it. Katie curates a smorgasbord of content related to managing your calendar, handling overwhelm, setting boundaries, reducing randomness, saying no, self-care, the power of your choices, and more in her Intentional Margins™ Membership Community -- which she calls the coziest virtual coffee shop (on Facebook). Connect and learn more at www.katiejefcoat.com.
Episodes
Saturday Dec 11, 2021
Saturday Dec 11, 2021
I’m intrigued by the idea of scaling back, reducing things and clutter and responsibilities. Have you ever felt that way? Although, the other side of me loves ambition and projects and a color coded task list. So… here we are.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and yesterday I recorded an episode about my minimalist December and after I was done, it got me thinking. We all know the saying, what I say yes to means I’m saying no to something else. Whether we realize it or not. There is always something we are giving up. Maybe it’s sleep. Maybe it’s time with your partner or kids or maybe it’s something else. But, I promise you, it’s something.
So as I reflect on what this means for me, I wanted to pose this quandary to you. Especially this time of year when we are looking at all the things we want to accomplish and all of the goals we want to achieve in the new year.
When we make those goals, we have to be mindful of the time we have and what we are giving up to add more to our plate. Time is finite. I wonder, if the questions we need to be asking ourselves are: Where are we distracted and what does that time look like? How does that serve us? Is there room in my abundant life to add more. Is there something I want to scale back so that I can add more to reach new and different goals for the new year?
Maybe I already feel busy. And not at all balanced. Maybe adding more goals that take time isn’t what I need. Maybe it’s the opposite. To focus more intently on a few things and scale back? I don’t know, but I’m thinking about it.
We can feel busy and balanced. We can feel in alignment. But only if we are intentional about our days and we’re realistic about what we can accomplish.
I’d love to hear how you are thinking about the new year. Drop us a DM on social or leave us a 5-star review.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Friday Dec 10, 2021
Friday Dec 10, 2021
Why do I say no to almost everything in the month of December? And how am I able to do it? That’s what we’re chatting about in today's episode.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was talking to a friend about how I plan my December and she was shocked. Not because I was doing it, I am a planner, but because I’ve never shared how I do it.
It starts at the beginning of Q4. That’s October 1st as I am laying out my responsibilities for the rest of the year. I like to take a quarterly approach. What I do is I front load Q4 into October and the first two weeks of November. Why, you might ask … well, here it goes.
I love the holidays. I love the twinkle lights. I love the merriment. I love the gatherings of friends. I love wrapping presents. I also love order. I love calm. Overwhelm is my kryptonite. I love getting gifts in the mail to friends and family that I won’t see during the holidays the first week-ish of December. I also love ordering my holiday cards on Black Friday and then addressing them and getting them in the mail in the half of December as well. Usually I watch a Christmas movie and take my time.
What minimalist December allows me to do, is have some calm in what is otherwise a super busy month, by saying no to almost everything that doesn’t bring me holiday cheer. I don’t want January to roll around and December to have been a stressful blur. Believe me, I’ve been there.
Now, I still have some responsibilities, for example, this podcast. But even this podcast brings me happiness and as much as I want the content to be good and thoughtful for you, it’s also for me. It reminds me how I want to show up as the best version of myself. We’re all riding the happiness train together - and some days are a little bumpy.
I also use some time in December to reflect on the year and plan for next year.
So, taking advice from Dr. Santo’s over at Yale, I’m savoring all the moments I can this month. Until next time.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Thursday Dec 09, 2021
Thursday Dec 09, 2021
I guess I should have expected it, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and this week I went to a funeral for the step-father of one of my best friends. Her dad was a Navy fighter pilot and was killed while flying his plane. Her step-father was also a fighter pilot. And was a 7-year POW in the Vietnam war. He also flew low level fighter flight missions during the Cuban missile crisis.
The service was at the US Naval Academy Chapel in Annapolis.
The first few pews on the left were family.
The first few pews on the right. Directly in front of where my husband and I were seated were 6 POWs that served with Jerry. One, who spoke, served with Jerry and is also the longest serving POW - not a title anyone wants. But it was his.
They talked about Jerry’s honor, his gentle personality, his courage and his leadership.
After retiring, Jerry became a global speaker, rising to the speakers hall of fame, sharing his POW story, the tapping technique the POWs created to communities between walls, how duty, loyality, and honor kept him alive, even when he endured the injuries from being shot down and the torture that ensued.
All this to say, he lived an inspirational life. And when he made it back home, he never let an opportunity pass him by.
He once heard, gratitude makes you happy.
And he said, then I must be the happiest man alive.
Where there is gratitude there is love.
Where there is gratitude there is happiness.
And I guess my message today, is even at a memorial service, there are messages that where there is gratitude there is happiness.
This is our opportunity to choose happiness every chance we get.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Wednesday Dec 08, 2021
Wednesday Dec 08, 2021
Today we re-cap the last 6 episodes inspired by Dr. Laurie Santos’ ideas, taken from research, on improving our happiness.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and over the past few episodes, we’ve been diving into the scientific concepts to really give our happiness a boost, and my reflections from an online happiness course from Yale professor, Dr. Laurie Santos.
So, let’s review, experiences are better than material stuff, even the best, most awesome stuff. So this is our invitation to really think about experiences. This is true because we create memories, happy memories, when we have experiences.
Next was all about savoring. Both in terms of savoring the good stuff, the taste of a cookie or time with a beloved relative. And also, keying us into how we, as humans, might be sabotaging our own savoring of experiences by being in a hurry and thinking about the future, among other things.
Next, we dove into negative visualization and this idea that if we think about what might not be, we can get ourselves to look at things differently and appreciate it more. This would be thinking about what if I didn’t get into the college I went to, and how different my life would be, the friends I would not have made, the experiences I would not have had, etc. It helps you appreciate this experience more.
After the negative visualization, we went down a similar path by thinking about what if this was our last day. Now, not in the sense that we would die tomorrow, that’s morbid, but more about this idea of thinking about what if this great thing would end. For example, college. We talked about that above. The study was showing how when you think about something ending, quickly, you appreciate it more verus thinking you have a whole final year of college.
I was thinking about this concept during the global pandemic when everything suddenly ended. People seem to appreciate visiting a coffee shop and relationships a bit more. Maybe even appreciate small talk more - go figure.
Finally, we know, and Dr. Santos also highlights that gratitude is critical in boosting our happiness. I hope this mini-series gave you as much food for thought as it did me.
Until next time.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Tuesday Dec 07, 2021
Tuesday Dec 07, 2021
Dr. Laurie Santos has four ways to thwart hedonic adaptation (the idea that you get used to the way it is and your happiness weigns) and improve your happiness. Today, we dive into the fourth strategy, gratitude.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was listening to the Yale happiness course by Dr. Laurie Santos and she says if we can find gratitude, feel thankful, feel appreciation, we can boost our happiness. But we already knew that - right?
Well, studies have shown that even gratitude lists scientifically boost happiness and, more importantly, it thwarts our hedonic adaptation, that feeling of being used to everything around you. Gratitude also, scientifically, reduces physical symptoms, like not feeling well.
The data also suggests that sharing gratitude with others has a massive positive effect on you and the other person too.
Researchers are also looking at gratitude between couples. They think that having a gratitude heavy relationship can nullify a bunch of bad traits, like withdrawal and not having good communication between one another. Folks that are feeling grateful are better off on the happiness scale and frankly, it’s better for your health to practice gratitude.
So, in that vein, I am grateful for you. For listening, subscribing, sharing, supporting this podcast. It really does mean the world to us.
I hope this gives you some inspiration on improving your happiness, just a little, through gratitude. Until next time, smash that subscribe button and consider leaving a 5-star review - we would really appreciate it.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Monday Dec 06, 2021
Monday Dec 06, 2021
Dr. Laurie Santos has four ways to thwart hedonic adaptation (the idea that you get used to the way it is and your happiness weigns) and improve your happiness. Today, we dive into the third strategy, Make this day your last.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was listening to the Yale happiness course by Dr. Laurie Santos and she asks: if we can reflect on the good things as if they were about to end, how would we feel? She has this concept “make your day your last” and she’s not talking about a terminal illness or something tragic like that, but more in the context of what if this great thing was about to end.
So what if tomorrow you are about to lose this thing you love a lot. The act of feeling just about to lose something, that’s the moment you really realize that gratitude, that happiness. So what researchers found was when they did a study with graduating seniors. They said you have 1200 hours left in college or you have ¼ a year left in college. The people that heard 1200 hours, felt as if they had little time left, and when plotting their feelings on a happiness scale, they were happier than the students who were told they have ¼ a year left. Thinking about imminently losing something, what will it be like to not have that, quickly bumps you out of the hedonic adaptation trap (the idea that our minds get used to stuff) - and bumps you higher into happiness.
This is a great trick when you are feeling the ho-hums of the day, the churn of the day, that everything feels the same - where is the excitement? I invite you to try it out. If you are so inclined, let me know it worked for you. And, if you are feeling generous, share this podcast with a friend - or two - getting the word out organically is how we grow and create a ripple effect of kindness and happiness in our small part of this world.
I hope this gives you some inspiration on improving your happiness, just a little, through what it would feel like if something you love was more time-bound.
Until next time.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Sunday Dec 05, 2021
Sunday Dec 05, 2021
Dr. Laurie Santos has four ways to thwart hedonic adaptation (the idea that you get used to the way it is and your happiness weigns) and improve your happiness. Today, we dive into the second strategy, Negative Visualization.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was listening to the Yale happiness course by Dr. Laurie Santos and she says if we think about the reverse of what could happen, called Negative Visualization, it can actually increase your happiness. That sounds crazy to me.
Dr. Santos uses the example of the movie It’s A Wonderful Life where Jimmy Stewart imagines what his life would be like if he were never born. This works with your loving partner. Imagine what life would be like if you never met your partner. You can use this to break out of your hedonic adaptation and realize, oh wow, I really do love these things about this person and I am so glad we found one another.
What the scientists find, if you write about how it might not have been, you can increase your happiness. This can be anything from getting into the college you wanted, the life partner you choose. You think about the subtle things that might not be, but for these events. What this does, is it breaks you out of the hustle and bustle of the here and now and you can have a moment of gratitude for what you have.
This can be an incredibly useful journaling or gratitude practice. We go into this in more detail in episode 18.
I hope this gives you some inspiration on improving your happiness, just a little, through negative visualization - which sounds so crazy and “unhappy” to say. Tomorrow, we will talk about this similar concept “make this day your last” - but I promise, it’s not as morbid as you think.
See you tomorrow.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Saturday Dec 04, 2021
Saturday Dec 04, 2021
Dr. Laurie Santos has four ways to thwart hedonic adaptation (the idea that you get used to the way it is and your happiness weigns) and improve your happiness. Today, we continue talking about Savoring, but this time, identifying what we might be doing that is hurting our ability to savor.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was listening to the Yale happiness course by Dr. Laurie Santos and yesterday, we talked about how we can savor an experience to increase our happiness. But what are the things we are doing that we might not even realize, that are completely hurting our ability to savor and get the happiness boost we’re after.
Well, she goes back to the Jose Et Al (2012) study where they explain what these common things are that we do that is counterintuitive to happiness. And, when I heard some of these, I could totally see myself doing this, which is why I wanted to devote an entire episode to this.
The study finds that focusing on the future, when will this present experience be over, crushes any hopes of savoring. I am a futurist, I’m constantly looking into the future and I totally see how this has shown up in my life and I’m curious, has this ever happened to you?
Other things are thinking this is not as good as you hoped. Reminding yourself that nothing lasts forever - in a doom and gloom way. Thinking about how this experience will never be this good again. Or, thinking about ways this experience could be better. Or even letting that voice in your head tell you that you didn’t deserve this good thing.
All of these things are taking you out of the present moment which hinders our happiness. So, as I reflect on savoring, I invite you to think about how this shows up in your own life.
Of course, feel free to continue the conversation over @everydayhappinesswithkatie or in our email that you can subscribe to at katiejefcoat.com/happiness.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Friday Dec 03, 2021
Friday Dec 03, 2021
Dr. Laurie Santos has four ways to thwart hedonic adaptation (the idea that you get used to the way it is and your happiness weigns) and improve your happiness. Today, we dive into the first strategy, Savoring.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was listening to the Yale happiness course by Dr. Laurie Santos and she says if we can savor an experience, the taste of the cookie, we can enjoy it longer and increase our happiness.
What savoring allows us to do is capture our attention and focus on this experience we are savoring. Our minds have a terrible habit of losing interest so quickly, this helps bring it all back.
Plus, it keeps us at a high point on the curve of hedonic adaptation. So hedonic adaptation is this idea that we get used to stuff and it’s level of happiness weigns. So if we savor, it takes us longer to come down. So we’re essentially happier longer.
Dr. Santos referenced a study by Jose Et Al (2012) that identifies activities that enhance savoring, and friends, this is so cool.
This includes talking to another person about how good you felt. Looking for other people to share this experience with you. You can think about what a lucky person you are. And even thinking about how you are going to share this experience with others, buy calling them after and telling them how great this was. Savoring can also show up by showing physical expressions of energy like laughing out loud, jumping up and down. Savoring can also be telling yourself how proud you are, giving yourself a pat on the back and of course, being totally and completely present in this moment.
Lately, I’ve been savoring snuggles with my little guy, who I know, any minute, will not be into snuggling and I am savoring every moment I get. I also plan to savor - I think sometimes we need to plan and remind ourselves to savor - so I’ll plan to savor Christmas morning that lasts only a few minutes but is so much fun, and I’ll do that by really being present.
I hope this gives you some inspiration on improving your happiness, just a little, through savoring. Tell me, what are you savoring? Follow us over on instagram @everydayhappinesswithkatie - get this delivered to your inbox over at katiejefcoat.com/happiness and smash the subscribe button.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Thursday Dec 02, 2021
Thursday Dec 02, 2021
Hey friend, let’s chat about the idea that experiences make us happier. Here’s what I’ve learned from my 10-year-old.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I wanted to riff for a minute or two, on this idea from yesterday that experiences make us happier. As we enter the holiday season, this has been on my mind a lot lately. I have two kids who, like most kids, like stuff.
But what I’ve noticed is that my now-10-year-old boy, he’s always wanted this cool new toy. One year it was a little riding machine that he sat on and was an outside toy. It was cool for about 5 hot minutes and now it sits in my garage, rarely being played with.
Another year, he wanted this mario game that combined an electric car with the game and was a 4-D type playing game. I thought he would lose his mind, he had been wanting it for months. It was a harder toy to come by that year and we snagged one. I was so excited to give it to him and on Christmas, he played with it for maybe an hour and it’s not the toy he gravitates toward, yet, he wanted it so bad.
So, as I look at my own kids and my own life, I can see how our mind plays tricks on us, we think these things will make us happy, yet they won’t. They just don’t and I have evidence in my own life how this is exactly what happens. Yet, we buy this stuff.
This year, we are gifting the children season passes to the amusement park near us and I think there will be more hours of happiness built into those experiences.
I guess what I am saying is that it’s so easy to get caught up in the stuff, we all do it. And even when we know better, we do it. So this really has to be intentional. I’d love to know what you are doing to bring more experiences into your life. I’m over on social @everydayhappinesswithkatie and we read and answer all of your DMs.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/