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Do you feel overwhelmed with your todo list? Is "creating fulfilling happiness" missing from that list? Everyday Happiness with Katie Jefcoat is here to help you. In 2-minutes a day, over time, you’ll discover how to reduce overwhelm and create lasting happiness through Katie’s signature method of Intentional Margins, happiness science, and musings about life. Start your day with a positive mindset. Many of us can get deep in the feeling of overwhelm. The anxiety of our own ambition can weigh heavily on our thoughts and emotions. We lay down and close our eyes at night and our chest begins to feel heavy. More items on the to-do list than the day before. How will we ever going to get off the hamster wheel of to-dos? When are we going to start living life for more than the hustle? As a recovering lawyer and passion driven entrepreneur, Katie knew something had to change. What she found is that you can have harmony, be intentionally productive and create massive impact, all at the same time - without feeling guilty. So she asked herself a simple question: "How can I get off the hamster wheel and how can I show others how to do the same? She knew she'd had a system for herself, but she’d never put it into defining words. On August 15, 2019, she sat down at her dining room table with her friend Jenna (her business bestie). Post-It notes covering the table. This is where she first defined the concept of Intentional Margins. What are Intentional Margins? INTENTIONAL MARGINS™ (n): A buffer of space and time to create harmony between your to-do’s and your priorities. Now you can get the support you need to manage your overwhelm, one little tip at a time. Regardless of the industry, Everyday Happiness blends inspiration with a pragmatic approach to finding Harmony. You'll be encouraged to throw “balance” out the window for a more achievable approach called harmony. Through Intentional Margins™, you'll be encouraged to develop what harmony means to you, by identifying your priorities at work and at home. Every day, we'll end the podcast help you feel equipped to jump off the hamster wheel of overwhelm and go out there and crush your day. --About the Host-- Katie Jefcoat is a community curator, speaker, author and motivator who supports ambitious women (and a few good men) move from feeling hectic to harmonious. As a recovering trial lawyer, she knows first hand what it feels like to have a demanding job. As an entrepreneur with a passion that lights her hair on fire and a busy family she’s in the thick of it with you. Many people strive for balance and think overwhelm is just a part of life. Sadly, the hustle culture and our never-ending to-do list is creating a life where our priorities are getting the leftover scraps of time. Katie introduces people to what she calls - Intentional Margins™ - a kind of life in which they reduce randomness, create harmony between their to-dos and their priorities and intentionally enjoy the meaningful parts of life - without feeling guilty. Without exposure to a different way, we remain stuck on the hamster wheel of to-dos and never find the “balance” we yearn for. Katie works diligently to expose her community to different ways of doing things, because she fundamentally believes we deserve to make time for our priorities. We deserve to live a life of harmony. And it’s within our control to create it. Katie curates a smorgasbord of content related to managing your calendar, handling overwhelm, setting boundaries, reducing randomness, saying no, self-care, the power of your choices, and more in her Intentional Margins™ Membership Community -- which she calls the coziest virtual coffee shop (on Facebook). Connect and learn more at www.katiejefcoat.com.
Episodes
Tuesday Mar 01, 2022
Tuesday Mar 01, 2022
As humans, we’re hardwired to always want more than we have, whether that’s material things or achievements. One aspect of happiness comes from achieving satisfaction by wanting what we already have.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been recently obsessed with this idea that wanting less will boost my happiness. I know that I could “have” a new handbag, I could financially afford it, but do I need it? No? Do I want it? Maybe not? I’ve started looking at material goods through the eyes of happiness and satisfaction. And what has been really interesting is that I compare myself to others who have similar financial means and I don’t look anything like them. I’m not dressed like they are. I am not driving the fancy car like they are. My kids are not in private school. We’re just different. And I am not here to judge, they could be just as happy. This is all internally within me.
It’s almost like I’ve fallen off the wagon the other way, I’m, so anti-material status type things, the outward facing things, that I am running around in my athleisure all day not even trying.
Of course we want to reach for the next rung on the ladder and have this feeling of satisfaction within us. I am not sure us humans are hardwired to achieve satisfaction. On some level, we are all reaching for the next step. Whether that’s a goal, a professional achievement or the material thing that only makes us feel happy in the fleeting moment.
I’m consciously trying to get off the treadmill and it’s hard. We are hardwired to want. We’ve talked about this, the hedonic treadmill. We think satisfaction is getting what we want. The promotion, the achievement, the material thing. But really, satisfaction is wanting what we have. The hard work is keeping satisfaction. When you are satisfied with what you have, and a week or a month passes and even a moment, and you truly don’t want for more.
What I’ve found is that this is something that needs constant awareness for me. When I can check myself and ask myself, why do I want this? I am better equipped to make a rational decision of whether I truly need the thing I want.
Celebrating the wins also helps to solidify the achievement. Most of us tend to chase the next thing, rarely slowing down to celebrate the achievement. So this is a great way to slow down and feel the feelings.
As we start March, 2022, 2 years after the beginning of the global pandemic, this is a great time to reflect on whether you want less and if you require less and if so, how are you going to stay mindful about this and we run full speed to the new normal.
If you are enjoying this podcast, consider subscribing so you get this downloaded on your favorite podcast player.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Monday Feb 28, 2022
Monday Feb 28, 2022
Following The Reverse Bucket List method by Arthur Brooks, I have written a list of my accomplishments and what I have already in my life that makes me happier. What would you write on your list?
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I started my reverse bucket list that we talked about in the last episode.
The reverse bucket list is writing a list of your haves and trying to detach yourself from the wants (a traditional bucket list) by focusing on the haves - what you already have, what you already have accomplished.
It’s also, over time, eliminating the “wants”. Will that elusive “thing” really make you happier?
For me, I keep notes in my phone, so I can look at them whenever I want, and I have three categories under my reverse bucket list of “haves”: material things, achievement, seen & done. It’s a great reminder for me.
Some people might think this is writing down all the things they are grateful for. There are a million ways to do anything and I invite you to do what works for you.
If I were focusing on gratitude, I would say that I have this chair in my living room. It brings me so much joy to sip warm coffee in this chair. I have a body that serves me. Hands that work, legs that allow me to walk. I have a mind that sees lightness through the dark that innately searches for positivity when life feels hard. I have a family that I am obsessed with. Kids who are healthy. A marriage where we prioritize one another and a husband who is kind, patient, generous and who loves me. I get to give and receive love with the people that I love.
I’ve traveled the world to amazing places and had incredible experiences.
My haves list is beautiful and long. And it’s showing me that my wants are nice, but not what will truly make me happier. I have everything I need to be as happy as I can be, right now.
I’m curious if you had any ah-ha moments when you started writing out your haves list?
Let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Sunday Feb 27, 2022
Sunday Feb 27, 2022
The Reverse Bucket List, by Arthur Brooks, is a concept to increase satisfaction. Today, we talk about creating a reverse bucket list and how it can make you happier with what you have accomplished in your life thus far!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today I’m sharing The Reverse Bucket List by Arthur Brooks, of The Atlantic. He created this concept called the Reverse Bucket List to improve satisfaction - which improves happiness.
He says “The fewer wants there are screaming inside your brain and dividing your attention, the more peace and satisfaction will be left for what you already have.”
The traditional bucket list is all the dreams and things you want to accomplish. That’s not a new concept. What Arthur Brooks is trying to achieve is a reverse bucket list so that you feel more satisfied with the dreams you've accomplished and the things you already have.
He says it can solve the satisfaction problem.
Satisfaction is not a function of what you HAVE - its actually an equation of what you HAVE and what you WANT. Think of it like a fraction: the top is what you have and the bottom is what you want.
When you don’t manage the denominator, the bottom, the wants will expand and sprawl. This is your traditional bucket list.
Instead, start a reverse bucket list. You have all the desires and wants.
Write a list of your haves and try to detach yourself from the wants by focusing on the haves. Then, your denominator will fall, and satisfaction will rise. That is the reverse bucket list exercise.
Tomorrow, I’ll share with you how I organize my reverse bucket list.
I’m always working on my reverse bucket list and if you want to connect on this or work together, I’m on social @everydayhappinesswithkatie and on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram. I’d love to know what’s on your reverse bucket list.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Saturday Feb 26, 2022
Saturday Feb 26, 2022
Does getting more of what we want actually make us happier? Today, we discuss satisfaction and how it plays into our happiness.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we’re chatting about feeling satisfied.
Satisfaction is a key component of happiness. Feeling satisfied I wonder, do I need to feel satisfied to be happy?
There is this idea of satisfaction, that says: If you have what you want, you will be satisfied. But you know that’s not true because you know that when you get all the things you want, the satisfaction is elusive and doesn’t last. It’s like running on a treadmill and never getting to the destination.
Arthur Brooks and many other thought leaders define satisfaction as what you HAVE divided by what you WANT.
So many of us think we will be more satisfied, happier even, if we get more of what we want. But there is this scientific theory called hedonic adaptation that tells us that we get comfortable with what we have and we always want more. So it’s basically impossible to “get more” and be happier, long term.
We’re chasing the wrong thing. We’re chasing the “want” of the satisfaction equation instead of the “have”.
Tomorrow, I am going to dive into exactly how to do this using Arthur Brooks’ reverse bucket list technique.
In the meantime, Let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Friday Feb 25, 2022
Friday Feb 25, 2022
How we ask a question can change our perspective. Today, we challenge common questions surrounding the pandemic and how we can reframe our mindsets to see the positives.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we’re talking about our circumstances. I was listening to a seminar by Authur Brooks, who writes for The Atlantic. He says we can re-frame and mitigate our unhappiness by asking ourselves - and our friends - the right questions.
This is especially important as the United States starts to move its way out of the global pandemic. But we don’t need a pandemic to highlight this important re-frame.
Instead of asking “what do you miss about pre-pandemic times?”
We could ask ourselves and our friends,
“what do you not miss about pre-pandemic times and you do not want to go back to?
We could even celebrate this once in a lifetime chance to be away from things that did not bring us happiness and not go back to them.
There is so much trauma, heartache, emotion around the pandemic and I am certainly not trying to minimize that. We need to walk through those emotions. But we can also, as complex humans, look for the good.
Ask yourself, what are the 6-7 things that you LIKE during the pandemic? What will you miss?
Some examples for me include:
Lunch with kids
Walk around neighborhood
Family game night
Intentional time with friends
It was an opportunity for our family to slow down and recalibrate. We feel grateful that it brought us closer together.
If you can ask yourself these next two questions, you will come out ahead.
What will you NOT go back to?
What will you KEEP?
This is an enormous chance to re-set. I invite you to ask yourself those two questions,
What will you NOT go back to?
What will you KEEP?
And then, let me know over on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Thursday Feb 24, 2022
Thursday Feb 24, 2022
My then 5-year-old gave me a much-needed reminder about what it is like to be living your best life simply through the joy of Slurpee. But, as an adult, how do you know if you are living your best life? Tune in today!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and a year or so ago, my little boy was sitting in the bathtub. My little guy loves baths, and he said “hey mommy, I’m living my best life”. It’s not the first time he’s said this and I thought it was so interesting. So it got me thinking.
Because he “thinks” he’s living his best life, he probably is. Our mind is such an interesting tool when it comes to our happiness.
A couple of years ago, he was riding in the big red basket of a Target shopping cart as we were running around picking up a few things. Before we started, I got him a small slurpee at the refreshment stand at Target, you know the one ;). He was thrilled, and didn't fuss for a larger size. Happy to get what we gets. And then, as we were zooming down the aisles and was sipping his bright red cherry slurpee filled with food dye and excessive amounts of sugar, he said to me for the first time “mommy, I’m living my best life” and I replied, “yes, yes you are”.
So I invite you to think about this today, are you living your best life? Is there one moment that you can be so grateful for today, that you think to yourself, hey, I’m living my best life at this moment.
And, don’t hide it. I want to hear what your best life moment is today. Let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Wednesday Feb 23, 2022
Wednesday Feb 23, 2022
Have you heard of oxytocin? It's a natural happiness hormone that you can easily produce every day. Want to learn how? Listen in on this podcast episode!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today I want to share a practical way to boost your happiness hormone, oxytocin.
What we know is that happiness is up to you. Now, a caveat, of course there are injustices and we should speak up, and there are things that we cannot control, and we should feel all those feelings. But that should not preclude our happiness - in whatever moments of time, you can get it.
As we’ve discussed in this podcast, human connection is a basic way to quickly and effectively boost happiness. We just talked about this again in episodes 264 and 266.
On the flip side, for most people, scrolling through social media will not boost our happiness. It doesn’t have the same connection.
I’ve always said and felt like social media is my virtual coffee shop, I love it. I am a connection junkie. But the science is pretty clear that social media is not a substitute for human connection, those likes and comments and seeing what your friends are up to, that’s not going to boost your happiness. It’s like being on a diet, but binging on ice cream when you are hungry. It’s not going to help your diet goals.
If you need a boost of the happiness hormone, oxytocin, human connection is a great way to go. And if this is true even for me, who thinks social media is my virtual coffee shop, it's probably true for you too.
When we are lonely, we are starving for OXYTOCIN. We starve for eye contact and human touch, both boost oxytocin.
If you can get with someone, do that. But if you can’t, a video conference, or a Facetime is really the next best thing.
The reason video conferencing works is that although I can not touch you, I can see you and OXYTOCIN comes from seeing you too - looking at your eyes.
That means being intentional and not multitasking on the video call.
So, go out and touch someone or catch up with a friend on a video call. Let me know over on social how it went - we hang out at @everydayhappinesswithkatie
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Tuesday Feb 22, 2022
Tuesday Feb 22, 2022
Did you know that science says that hugging can improve your happiness? How long should I hug for, and how often? Tune in to find out!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat.
I’m curious, are you a hugger? I’m a hugger. But I recently heard that a 20-second hug will boost happiness? Have you ever hugged for 20 seconds? I did this with my husband the other day. It feels like a long time. The research that Arthur Brooks over at The Atlantic is sharing is that a 20 second hug every 2 hours - boosts happiness. It maximizes oxytocin and it’s super good for you. There are even some thoughts that it can reduce blood pressure and lower stress.
I’m a hugger. But that seems like a lot. During the pandemic when my husband and I were both working from home, that could have been more doable. But as we are starting to get back in the office - less likely.
Gretchen Rubin has also chimed in to this hug discussion and she says that even a 6-second hug will “optimize the flow of mood-boosting chemicals”.
In the book, Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, they talk about being stressed out and they opine on some pretty solid research that when you hug, you don’t just “lean in” , you keep your own center of gravity and embrace the other person, for 20-seconds (seems like everyone is talking about the 20-second hug). They also say that it’s not a magic 20-seconds, but enough time to feel relaxed. And that can instantly decrease your blood pressure and heart rate and improve your mood.
So, this leaves me with, let’s hug more. We know human touch is a cornerstone to happiness, so why not do a little more hugging?
I’d love to know if you participate in a 20-second hug today. Or if you opted for the 6-second version. Send me a message on social @everydayhappinesswithkatie.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Monday Feb 21, 2022
Monday Feb 21, 2022
Being happy all the time is an unrealistic and unhealthy goal. We need the full scope of our emotions to appreciate the highlights of life. Tune in to find out why science says we should increase happiness.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today I'm taking a deep breath of relief because there is no way me or anyone else can be “happy” all the time. It’s completely unrealistic and we need all of our emotions. We should have a wide range of emotions - that’s normal. If you are happy a lot of the time, I hope this is a massive exhale that there is absolutely no permanent state of bliss.
For me, it’s a relief to realize that every single moment with my kids doesn’t have to be “happy” (you can’t see me, but I’m totally doing air quotes}. Don’t get me wrong, I love them. I want them to have a happy childhood. I want to have happy interactions with them. But sometimes, we’re just chill.
The science indicates that instead, we should do what we can to increase the presence of happiness in our lives and when it shows up -- pay a little more attention, give a little gratitude or appreciation for that happiness feeling - you might even realize, it shows up even more when you notice it.
And also, it’s ok when that happiness feeling fades, it will, it has to in order to give space to other emotions in this complex mind we have.
What will you pay attention to today that you maybe wouldn’t normally? Send me a message on social @everydayhappinesswithkatie - let’s have a conversation.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Sunday Feb 20, 2022
Sunday Feb 20, 2022
We are hardwired for social connections. In fact, our brains need them to function properly. Therefore, to bump up our happiness levels, we need to focus on increasing our levels of social connectedness.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat. We’ve talked about how our mind is not programmed to help us be happier. It makes sense, if you are unhappy or dissatisfied, you do better, you invient, you create. So I’m willing to go along with the scientifically proven research.
We get to decide if we want to dial it up a little bit when it comes to our happiness emotion. That’s pretty cool.
If we want to improve on the happiness scale, the research is overwhelmingly clear, one of the best and easiest ways is to improve social connection. Be present in real life, talk to a stranger, call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while.
Now, you could be like me and think this is great news, I am already planning a coffee with a friend or the first person I’ll call to connect with after this episode.
But for others, it seems easier to grab the remote to Netflix and binge. I’d invite you to take one step.
Make a phone call to someone you enjoy, but it’s been way too long since you’ve talked on the phone or seen them in real life. Listen to the voice on the other end of the line. Be present and intentional in that conversation. You might just get that boost of happiness.
Let me know what you did today, send me a message on social @everydayhappinesswithkatie - let’s have a conversation; I’ll be your biggest fan.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/