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Do you feel overwhelmed with your todo list? Is "creating fulfilling happiness" missing from that list? Everyday Happiness with Katie Jefcoat is here to help you. In 2-minutes a day, over time, you’ll discover how to reduce overwhelm and create lasting happiness through Katie’s signature method of Intentional Margins, happiness science, and musings about life. Start your day with a positive mindset. Many of us can get deep in the feeling of overwhelm. The anxiety of our own ambition can weigh heavily on our thoughts and emotions. We lay down and close our eyes at night and our chest begins to feel heavy. More items on the to-do list than the day before. How will we ever going to get off the hamster wheel of to-dos? When are we going to start living life for more than the hustle? As a recovering lawyer and passion driven entrepreneur, Katie knew something had to change. What she found is that you can have harmony, be intentionally productive and create massive impact, all at the same time - without feeling guilty. So she asked herself a simple question: "How can I get off the hamster wheel and how can I show others how to do the same? She knew she'd had a system for herself, but she’d never put it into defining words. On August 15, 2019, she sat down at her dining room table with her friend Jenna (her business bestie). Post-It notes covering the table. This is where she first defined the concept of Intentional Margins. What are Intentional Margins? INTENTIONAL MARGINS™ (n): A buffer of space and time to create harmony between your to-do’s and your priorities. Now you can get the support you need to manage your overwhelm, one little tip at a time. Regardless of the industry, Everyday Happiness blends inspiration with a pragmatic approach to finding Harmony. You'll be encouraged to throw “balance” out the window for a more achievable approach called harmony. Through Intentional Margins™, you'll be encouraged to develop what harmony means to you, by identifying your priorities at work and at home. Every day, we'll end the podcast help you feel equipped to jump off the hamster wheel of overwhelm and go out there and crush your day. --About the Host-- Katie Jefcoat is a community curator, speaker, author and motivator who supports ambitious women (and a few good men) move from feeling hectic to harmonious. As a recovering trial lawyer, she knows first hand what it feels like to have a demanding job. As an entrepreneur with a passion that lights her hair on fire and a busy family she’s in the thick of it with you. Many people strive for balance and think overwhelm is just a part of life. Sadly, the hustle culture and our never-ending to-do list is creating a life where our priorities are getting the leftover scraps of time. Katie introduces people to what she calls - Intentional Margins™ - a kind of life in which they reduce randomness, create harmony between their to-dos and their priorities and intentionally enjoy the meaningful parts of life - without feeling guilty. Without exposure to a different way, we remain stuck on the hamster wheel of to-dos and never find the “balance” we yearn for. Katie works diligently to expose her community to different ways of doing things, because she fundamentally believes we deserve to make time for our priorities. We deserve to live a life of harmony. And it’s within our control to create it. Katie curates a smorgasbord of content related to managing your calendar, handling overwhelm, setting boundaries, reducing randomness, saying no, self-care, the power of your choices, and more in her Intentional Margins™ Membership Community -- which she calls the coziest virtual coffee shop (on Facebook). Connect and learn more at www.katiejefcoat.com.
Episodes
Monday Mar 21, 2022
Monday Mar 21, 2022
Dan Buettner has uncovered in his journey to find what he calls the Blue Zones - where people live the longest - the happiest places to live in the world.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I read a fascinating interview of Dan Buettner in The Atlantic. He’s studied the most well-lived lives of people around the world for over 15 years as a researcher and writer for National Geographic. He’s written books on living longer - what he calls the Blue Zones of the world where people live the longest - and traits of the happiest people he’s encountered in his journey.
He argues that happy places are the ones where the leaders have prioritized a better life over better business.
He said, in the 1970s the mayor of San Louis Obispo “drove a push for aesthetics, social gathering places, and streets built for humans, not just cars. Today, San Luis Obispo routinely ranks in the top 10 happiest places in the country. It’s not a coincidence. You see the same features in Portland, Santa Cruz, Boulder—happiness is not a coincidence. There’s always an orchestration of common factors that come together to produce it.”
Well, if that’s the case, and we care about human well-being how can we create more of this where we live?
There are small things we can do - which gets to my point of this podcast. He thinks happiness can be the sum of happy emotions. He uses an example of a “pride shrine” - a place in your home that reminds you of happy moments: a diploma, photos, trinkets.
He says Costa Rica, Copenhagen and Singapore, also rank high on happiest places to live. But we can’t all move to one of these places. Instead, he’s a big proponent of socialization. He argues and his research shows that the happiest people socialize with friends - a lot. Even as much as seven hours a day.
Buettner’s research shows that who you hang out with matters and has a massive impact on your health and well-being. So his advice is to go out into your community and find happy friends - friends that like to laugh, and in doing so, you will increase your happiness and life longevity.
Today, I invite you to look at the people you hang out with the make an effort to spend time with the people that make you happy.
Inspired by this article in The Atlantic.
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/10/get-rid-of-everything/543384/
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Sunday Mar 20, 2022
Sunday Mar 20, 2022
Dan Buettner studies the traits of the happiest people he’s encountered in his journey to find what he calls the Blue Zones, where people live the longest.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve become fascinated by the work of Dan Buettner who has studied the most well-lived lives of people around the world for over 15 years as a researcher and writer for National Geographic. He’s written books on living longer - what he calls the Blue Zones of the world where people live the longest - and traits of the happiest people he’s encountered in his journey.
Buettner defines happiness as “...a composite of things: health, emotions, the way you evaluate your life, and the extent to which you’re living out your values.” He goes on to talk about the challenge of wanting to be happy and searching for that, but conveying the depth of happiness is found in meaning not amusement parks.
This idea of happiness is complex for Buettner. There is no silver bullet. He says “I like the idea of thinking about happiness in the same way you think of your retirement portfolio. You want it balanced—the short term and long term, stocks and bonds. The hell-bent pursuit of purpose kind of loses the point a little bit, because there is value in the sum of positive emotions we experience every day.”
Wow, so he’s saying we can’t be on this path to achieve so much purpose that we don’t stop to enjoy the flowers along the way.
I’ve actually seen this in real life. Do you know someone that has worked so hard for a goal and then achieved that goal and didn’t have the outcome of happiness they were expecting. I know I have. Heck, that’s been me. It’s what our brains do. In episode 179 we discussed the idea that our mind plays tricks on us and we think we’ll be so much happier when we achieve that thing, but we’re just not.
I’m just digging into Buettner’s happiness research, but he seems to be saying that we need to be reminded that happiness is the sum of all its parts. That’s someone we’ll be chewing over here at Everyday Happiness as we continue to explore the question: What is happiness?
Inspired by this article in The Atlantic.
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/10/get-rid-of-everything/543384/
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Saturday Mar 19, 2022
Saturday Mar 19, 2022
What would a sabbatical look like for you? Let’s discuss. This is your invitation to send me an email with any thoughts you might have, I’m at katie@katiejefcoat.com.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’m thinking about taking a “sabbatical” to get my personal life sorted, even though there is absolutely nothing wrong. I want to complete some items in my 22 for 2022 and I want to spend more time with the children this summer. What does that look like, how could I do it, I have no idea.
I know that if I want to make this a reality, I need to really focus on creating content now, writing and recording podcast episodes so they are all done before the sabbatical. Other than that, I don’t know what this looks like.
The things on my list might seem trivial or not urgent, which they’re not. I’d like to complete the kids’ baby books, which are wholefully behind. I’d like to have some perspective to write letters to my kids - that they can read later. I hear about this and it sounds so sweet, but frankly, when you are in the daily grind, it feels hard to think about that.
I have a child who will be in high school next year. I want to start to think about what the next four years look like for her.
And frankly, I think I could spend my entire sabbatical downloading iCloud photos and organizing them. I have no good photo organization system, which really stresses me out. I’m years behind. I really need to download and label photos.
I also envision a time when I am not thinking about content so that the next wave of content inspiration strikes me. Perhaps that’s a TEDx talk or a book or revising my happiness keynote. I want to daydream about pouring into productive teams and talking about belonging in a company that feels amazing.
I want to get back to chewing on big happiness concepts like purpose and satisfaction.
Above all, I just want to completely clean my office. That could take a solid week.
Ok, maybe cleaning my office is not a reason for a sabbatical. But I often wonder what it would look like and how I would feel.
Would I get restless. Would I feel bored?
Have you ever taken a sabbatical? Do you have any advice for how to achieve such a lofty goal? I’m putting this out into the world because I could use the feedback, so send me a message, let me know your thoughts. You can email me at katie@katiejefcoat.com or find me in my DMs on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Friday Mar 18, 2022
Friday Mar 18, 2022
Revisiting our 22 for 2022. How far have you gotten on your ambitions? Let’s just say, I haven’t gotten very far. Today we break it down.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I wanted to check in with you on your 22 for 2022. Remember way back to episodes 208 and 209 when we talked about creating a list of 22 things for 2022. As we are halfway into March, I realized I hadn’t looked at that list since I created it. So, I reaffirmed my commitment and printed the list to put in my planner. What I know for sure is that having your goals or commitments front and center to review is how we remember and make progress.
My list is almost all personal. In fact, 20 of the items are personal. And honestly, those are the ones that I’m falling the most behind on.
This is your reminder to go back and listen to episodes 208 and 209. Pull out your list of 22 for 2022 and ask yourself if those items are still important to you. Do you need to tweek anything on the list? What are you recommitting to?
Remember, this should be fun. This should be something you look forward to, so if you are dreading your 22 for 2022, I invite you to reconsider your list.
For me, it’s baby steps. I’m chunking it down to bite size actionable pieces that inspire me to complete my list.
And, what does this have to do with happiness, you might ask? Well, part of happiness is purpose and satisfaction. I bet if you looked at your list, there would be themes of purpose and satisfaction woven into the ideas, the aspirations of your list. So go ahead, revisit your list and of course, let me know what you gathered. If you changed your mind on anything. If you decided to completely throw out the list all together. Whatever the case may be. I’m over on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and I can’t wait to connect.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Thursday Mar 17, 2022
Thursday Mar 17, 2022
When I heard this, I knew it was going to be a game changer - and it was. Ten simple words.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was thinking the other day about a tool that I use when I find myself stressing or ruminating about something with another person - and sometimes it’s just what’s going on in my own head that I need to check myself.
This tool was first introduced to me years ago by @BreneBrown. I can’t remember when I first heard it, I think it may have been a story in her first TV special, but I’ve shared this tool with so many people and it’s really helped me.
When you are feeling like someone is thinking something or something doesn’t feel right. A constructive way to approach that person is to say:
The story I am making up in my head is…
This gives you a chance to share your anxiety or feelings and also gives the other person a non-confrontational, non-judgemental space to reply.
For example. I texted a friend multiple times over the course of a week and no response. So unlike her. So of course, my mind starts spinning and I’m certain I did or said something and I can’t remember what and now she’s ghosting me.
I could say to that friend: Hey there, the story I am making up in my head is that I did something to upset you because I haven’t heard from you? Is everything ok? Is there something I did? This is my friend's opportunity to say, hey, yeah, there was this thing. But more likely than not, she’ll respond with, oh my gosh no, it’s so good to hear from you, thank you for being a consistent friend, I’ve just been caught up in my own things right now with kids, family, work, you name it.
But what happens if you’re anything like me. We ruminate. We second guess. We play stories in our heads that are not true. Those stories feed into our own insecurities. Friends, we don’t have time for this. My motto - if I’m going to make up a story, it better be good. And if I just can’t shake this feeling - it’s time to use my 10 magic words “The story I am making up in my head is” and get to the bottom of it - stat.
Let me know if you used this phrase by tagging us in social media stories or send me a message on social. We’d love to hear from you. And of course, subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and come hang out with us on social over at @everydayhappinesswithkatie.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Wednesday Mar 16, 2022
Wednesday Mar 16, 2022
Writing down daily gratitude lists has been shown to improve one's happiness. It allows us to focus on the positive moments of our lives rather than getting caught up in the negatives. What would you write on your list?
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we’re chatting about a gratitude list.
A number of studies have shown that making daily lists of the things you feel grateful for—so we focus our attention on it—improves our happiness and well-being.
Taking it a step further, there is research that verbally expressing our gratitude toward the people close to us helps increase and sustain our well-being above and beyond simply feeling or writing down gratitude. Basically, telling someone you are grateful for them gives both of you a boost.
Today, I invite you to take that gratitude list and speak life into it by sharing with others your gratitude. Maybe you are grateful for your partner and you share that with them today.
Maybe you are grateful for the cup of coffee you are sipping and you tell someone how much you appreciate your morning coffee. Or better yet, call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while and share gratitude and positive experiences, the science says, it will boost your happiness.
Let me know what you are grateful for today, send me a message on Instagram at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Tuesday Mar 15, 2022
Tuesday Mar 15, 2022
Social media allows us to share the highlights of our lives and to see the highlights of others. Unfortunately, this can lead to deep feelings of social comparison or "keeping up with the Joneses." Today, we discuss why that is and how to evolve it to something better.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we’re talking about social comparison because we’re all feeling it at some point, me included.
What we think will make us happy is often not what will actually make us happy.
There is so much outside pressure, social comparison, keeping up with the Joneses.
You could be a millionaire, but you feel bad because there is another guy, making more money. Someone else has a bigger yacht. Or perhaps, your more money just equates to different problems. Now, it’s “where am I going to park my yacht”? Is it in the right yacht club? How do I become a member of the prestigious yacht club?
You see where I am going with this. We do this too, in our daily lives, even if we don’t all own yachts. It’s schools and cars and houses and jewelry and clothing and sports.
The science says we need to recognize that tendency to feel the outside pressure and social comparison, so that we can shift social comparison and feed our brain more realistic reference points.
Not everyone makes more money than you. Not everyone has a nicer car. Not everyone is having Instagram worthy family vacations every second of the trip. Social media is a highlight reel that we all can get caught up in.
So, the next time you want something that you think will make you happier. Ask yourself? Is this for social comparison?
If you want this podcast delivered to your inbox, it’s super easy to head over to katiejefcoat.com/happiness and subscribe.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Monday Mar 14, 2022
Monday Mar 14, 2022
Negative thinking can actually make you happier! Wait; hold on, Katie, WHAT? Tune in today, and let me explain the science behind this method.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we’re talking about negative visualization.
Negative visualization is sometimes referred to as the gap of what we want and what we have. It was developed by the ancient Greeks to create more happiness in your life.
You visualize yourself deprived of whatever it is that you really value in your life.
You imagine that you lost this thing. Imagine that you lost your family. Imagine that you lost your house. Imagine that you lost your job. Imagine that you lost your health.
For example, my marriage isn’t there forever, something could happen to my spouse, this life is fragile. This helps our brain appreciate our partner, so in this experience of negative visualization, we start to feel gratitude and appreciation for our partner and we go on to appreciate them while we have them. And perhaps, not sweat the small stuff that day.
What happens, as humans, we adapt to our environment, we take things for granted - we assume they will always be there. Our marriage, our job, our house, our health.
How would your life be negatively impacted if something drastically changed. What if you broke a foot or lost your eyesight, your house burned to the ground?
For a few minutes today, visualize how things would be different if you lost something you take for granted. And then, feel appreciation for what you have. The science and the Greeks seem to think this will make us happier.
Let me know how this worked, what do you appreciate? Head over to @everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Sunday Mar 13, 2022
Sunday Mar 13, 2022
Today, we answer the question of how much of your happiness comes from genetics and how you can influence your own happiness!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and the science says that part of our happiness is genetic. But researchers think that up to 40% of our happiness can be influenced by us. This means, we can take actions to improve our happiness and release those happiness chemicals in our bodies so we feel happier. That’s incredible.
The research tells us that we are really bad at forecasting our own happiness over time. We think that a lottery ticket will make us happier for life, but after interviewing hundreds of lottery winners, the research suggests that even becoming a millionaire overnight doesn’t increase your happiness - for very long.
The fact is, we get used to stuff.
The new car smell, it’s great for about 2 weeks and then, it’s just your car.
So, to counteract this data, we can be proactive in our happiness. Moments of joy and happiness throughout the day can increase happiness. I call this, using our Intentional Margins®. Doing something that brings you joy, lights your hair on fire. Perhaps it’s a cup of coffee with a friend, a simple pleasure of reading in your favorite chair. If you feel like you don’t have time for this, I invite you to organize your day with just one simple pleasure. Perhaps it’s cranking the music in the car with your favorite song as you drive to the next thing you get to do.
What did you do today? Let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Saturday Mar 12, 2022
Saturday Mar 12, 2022
Boosts of happiness can reduce stress and increase resilience. One way to boost happiness is through gratitude. If you think about it. Gratitude boosts happiness. Happiness boosts resilience. Happy people have better life satisfaction. It’s a massive circle of happiness. And we get to share this by kindness, because we know kindness is contagious.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been researching how happiness can help us manage our stress. Let’s face it, even the happiest people feel stress. What the research indicates is that
a positive mood and positive thinking increase our ability to manage our stress in healthy ways.
What seems to be clear is that bursts of happiness, over time, increase our resilience to stress. We’re better able to cope with the stress when it happens. So this is like using the happiness muscle, not just when you feel sad, but all the time, so that when you do feel sad or stressed, it’s easier to manage.
I guess it’s like anything really. If I need to do 20 pushups in 2 weeks, I will be more prepared if I start by doing 2 a day or 7 a day and working up to 15 a day and 18 a day over the next 2 weeks so that when I need to do 20 pushups, I have some resilience built up. My body knows what to expect.
Even if I haven’t convinced you - yet - that happiness increases our resilience to stress, maybe Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson’s work might. She finds that our positive emotions have lasting benefits beyond the positive emotion experience. Her research shows that happiness has been shown to “improve physical health as well as lower levels of depression and higher levels of life satisfaction.”
Even more exciting is that happy people attract more happiness. Happy people are more likely to build relationships, which we know is a major factor for happiness.
So if you are having a stressful day or you are just plain stressed out. Happiness might be a tool to help. That includes going for a walk, something self-care related. And of course, it also includes what we know works, like gratitude, spreading kindness and mindfulness.
If you think about it. Gratitude boosts happiness. Happiness boosts resilience. Happy people have better life satisfaction. It’s a massive circle of happiness. And we get to share this by kindness, because we know kindness is contagious.
Until next time, spread that kindness.
Inspired by this article in Verywell Mind.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/