Everyday Happiness - Finding Harmony and Bliss

343-Behavioral Contagion How to Mimic Happiness from Others

You can improve your happiness by being around happy people! Learn how behavioral contagions work and how you can use them in this episode. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat.

 

I’ve been obsessed with this scientific principle of behavioral contagion. This is the tendency of behaviors exhibited by one individual to be copied by others nearby. In other words: monkey see, monkey do.  

 

Look, if we’re surrounded by people that are miserable, we start to see things through that lens, and perhaps, we may start to dip on our own happiness scale.  That’s no good.  

 

But, what is so exciting is that behavioral contagion will also cause the spread of happiness because when people are happy, they exude happiness, they want to do upbeat activities, talk about their happiness, laugh, and focus on the positive in a situation. 

 

So if we are around these people, we unconsciously mimic these behaviors and in the process actually become happier.  This initiates a chain reaction, making everyone around us happier, and this is what results in the formation of the clusters of happiness found in the University of California, San Diego research study (University of California, San Diego in 2008). 

 

How cool is that?  There is actually scientific research that shows that who you invite into your space and who you surround yourself with, makes a difference on your personal happiness. 

 

So, I’m asking you today - who will you seek out for happiness today?  Let me know by DMing me on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram. 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

342-Smiling Makes You Happier

Did you know that smiling can make you happier? Tune in to hear why you should practice smiling to improve your happiness!

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat.

 

I heard of this theory that you literally cannot hold two emotions at the same time.  When you smile, you can’t be mad.  You are also sending the signal to the universe that you are happy and you will accept more happiness. 

 

I was curious what the science said about this and if I could hack my bad mood, just by smiling.  

 

Well, the scientific research shows that if you smile, your mood actually improves.  This is great news for us.  We can effectively improve our mood by smiling. 

 

Researchers think that by smiling, even when you don’t want to, you activate a specific set of muscles in the face. That set of muscles is closely connected to the emotions of happiness and joy. By smiling, you give your brain that signal that you’re good.  So even if it's not totally true, it will be soon. And that is incredible.  

 

For me, I’m working on a mediation practice and I can 100% see how turning up the corners of my lips during my meditation will help increase my happiness.  So, how will you smile more today? 

 

Let me know by DMing me on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

341-Q And A With Katie

Q & A with Katie: How does setting an Intentional Margins® make you feel?

 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.

I'm your host, Katie Jeffcoat and I asked a question on my Facebook that was, “what do you want to know on the podcast?” and someone had a great question. They said, “how does setting an Intentional Margins® make you feel?”

I thought that was such an interesting question. Because we talk about the practical ways to set Intentional Margins® to create time in your calendar, but how does that make you feel?

Well, what I've learned and what I've heard from so many of you, is that it gives you a sense of clarity. It's a moment to take a deep breath, and to know that you're on the right path. It's this idea that we get to have space and time to breathe. To have clarity. To let the hamster wheel slow down a little bit, where we don't actually feel like the minute we drop a plate, all of the spinning plates are going to come crumbling down.

We have margin to be able to prioritize what is best for us in this season. It looks like having dinner with a family. Knowing that you still have work to do the next day doesn't mean you don't ever go back to work, right? It's having some boundaries around how you get to spend your time.

When you're with the kids, you're present with the kids and when you're at work, you're all present at work. So how does setting an Intentional Margins® make you feel? I think it makes you feel calm, at peace with clarity, and also maybe even driven because when you set your margin, you don't feel like all of the balls are about to drop.

That's what I would say for today in an impromptu Q&A with Katie. Until next time, remember, kindness is contagious. Go out there and do something kind for someone today.

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

340-Does This Make You Happy?

A conversation with some moms about choosing high school electives and what I learned.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was on a group chat recently with a bunch of moms talking about their kids are transitioning from elementary to middle school and middle school to high school and this convo started down the path of choosing high school courses and choosing extracurriculars and then the impacts of college and all the things.  Not only was my head spinning, but I could feel my blood pressure start to rise. So many opinions on what to do to prepare for college and what not to do and so many choices. 

 

Wow, it’s a lot, friends, and having never gone through this my head was a puddle.  

 

But one comment stood out to me more than anything else. 

 

The mom said, she asks her kids “does this make you happy”? 

 

Wow, that’s interesting?  Not, will this help your GPA?  Or how will this look on a college essay or transcript?  But instead, will this make you happy? 

 

I mean, we’re all trying to raise good kids that are kind and come out of adolescence with some shred of confidence and a strong sense of their own mental health.  The research suggests that happy optimistic people are more successful.  So maybe this mom is on to something? 

 

Now, of course I am not saying to throw the gradebook in the toilet and joy ride through high school.  But I wonder if the mounting pressure is the right move? It seems harder now than before.  Maybe that’s my own mind’s revisionist history, but adolescence seems harder these days.    

 

I would argue, perhaps, this is less about “does this make you happy” and the question really is, do you enjoy it, even when it’s hard work, because even things that are our passion still require hard work and can make us stressed and possibly unhappy sometimes, but it should also bring purpose and fulfillment.  Now, not every high school or college class is going to be great.  Don’t get me wrong.  What I am fearful of, is kids being part of clubs for the sake of college essays and doing things for the wrong reasons that they end up miserable, and that can’t be good either.  

 

I don’t have the answers and I don’t have a crystal ball.  Every kid is different, of course.  But I wonder if we ask our kids: where are they the happiest or most fulfilled in the elective curriculum and extracurricular activities, if that allows them to really shine.  If they are happy with those choices, perhaps that mindset carries over to the mandatory curriculum and frankly parts of life.  

 

As adults we all know life isn’t a party all the time, but we get to have moments of joy mixed in, with hobbies and philanthropy we are passionate about.  Maybe letting the kids take that lead would also be a step in the right direction.  

 

This is what I am pondering today.  If you have any thoughts on this, please send them my way as I really need to explore what this looks like. Until next time, remember, kindness is contagious. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

339-Sleeping For Happiness

How much does sleep contribute to our overall happiness?  This is the question I’ve been pondering and as it turns out - a lot   

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and if we’ve been together for any length of time, you’ve probably heard me talk about sleep.  I think sleep is one of the more important things we can give our bodies and yet, it is the most underutilized.  I hear people, like my husband, almost use sleep deprivation as a badge of honor.  “I only need 5 hours of sleep a night,” have you heard that before? Yeah, I don’t buy it. 

 

Last week I took my kids to their well-visit annual doctor's appointments, and one of the questions was “how much do you sleep”?  We tend to all agree that kids need sleep.  

 

I’ve been wondering how we value sleep and rest in our society as adults? I question why rest and sleep are not more valued in our society.  We need sleep to restore our factory settings.  We need sleep to let our brains catalog our day. 

 

But one thing is true, rest is not the same thing as sleep, so I wanted to dig into this a little bit today.  

 

Rest is such a healthy part of living. Whether it’s a good night sleep or even a nap mid-day, the benefits of rest are endless.  

 

According to Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith, many people think of sleep and rest as the same thing when in fact they are not. She goes on to suggest that there are 7 types of rest that every person needs:

 

1. Physical rest. This can be passive physical rest like sleeping and taking a nap. Or active through activities that improve our health such as yoga, stretching and massage.

 

2. Mental rest. Such an important one for us when we have busy minds and thoughts. I often say my brain feels like it has a couple squirly with ADD inside there just running around.  So creating time and space to calm the thoughts can really help. 

 

3. Sensory rest. Switch off completely from screens. This also includes noisy cities and music blaring all day.  It’s finding quiet times throughout the day. 

 

4. Creative rest. Get out into nature to take  a break and restore your creativity. This is where we pause in nature or even admire a building on a city block.  It’s time to focus on something else.

 

5. Emotional rest. We so often pour in to others so make sure you have time and space to process your feelings and nurture yourself.

 

6. Social rest. Make sure you spend time with people who are positive and uplifting. This might also mean cutting back on people-pleasing activities.  

 

7. Spiritual rest. Make space for activities such as prayer and meditation. Time to think above yourself. 

 

And, research shows that sleep deprivation is bad for our physical and mental health.  The well rested and sleep fulfilled brain is better at processing feelings and balancing emotions, so your day will just be better 

 

Until next time, I hope that tonight you get a good night's sleep and you find moments to “rest” throughout your day.  And remember, kindness is contagious, go out into the world and spread some kindness today. 

 

Inspired by: https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/rest-mental-health-saundra-dalton-smith-ted.html 

And 

https://ideas.ted.com/the-7-types-of-rest-that-every-person-needs/

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

338-Generosity

How generosity boosts happiness, and may even help us live longer.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and what researchers have found is that behaving generously toward others actually rewards the brain with happiness-enhancing boosts of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.   

 

In an article by the Cleveland Clinic, the author says “There’s just something about the delight of gift-giving that makes us feel good, but there’s actually science backing it up.  

 

Research says that people who give social support to others have lower blood pressure than people who don’t. Supportive interaction with others also helps people recover from coronary-related events.

 

Researchers also say that people who give their time to help others through community and organizational involvement have greater self-esteem, less depression and lower stress levels than those who don’t.”

 

According to one study, giving, like volunteering in a group, can actually help you live longer.  I would bet this is part to do with giving and part to do with social connection, which is a huge part of aging gracefully.  In fact, there are studies that show when elderly people help one another, even just give emotional support, they live longer.  That’s incredible. 

 

And, there is no coincidence that feeling happier, helping someone, releasing those endorphins (also known as a “helpers high”) and that serotonin, which is a mood boosting chemical that fires off when we do good, is contagious, through our mirror neurons in our brain, we are sending out good vibes.     

 

Today, we have an opportunity to “do good” to share some generosity.  It can be little, it can be big.  The amount actually doesn’t matter.  And remember, kindness is contagious, so go out there and spread some kindness in the world today. 

 

Inspired by https://health.clevelandclinic.org/why-giving-is-good-for-your-health/ 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

337-Intentional Margins® Let Go of the Rat Race Pt 2 of 2

When you look back at the week, did you do something for yourself? Not something on the to-do list, but something that made you happy? Through Intentional Margins®, you can make that a regular part of your week.

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are talking about my concept INTENTIONAL MARGINS®. 

 

Yesterday, you looked at your calendar and wrote down all the have-tos.  The commute, the meetings, the kids activities, the dentist, all the things you have to do.

 

The rest is your margin.  And the big question is how do we make the absolute most of our time so that we create a fulfilling life in our Intentional Margins®.  What I’ve found, is that when we aren’t intentional, we look back, over the day and wonder, what did I do that was in my priorities. I felt so busy all day.  

 

Days become weeks,  weeks to months, months to years and pretty soon we’re checking the to-do list, but we’re on auto-pilot.

 

INTENTIONAL MARGINS® is a filter to identify what matters most, your priorities, and figure out how to make time for them.  So that, you can look back at the week, and have a win, recognizing that you did live in your priorities and you are in fact creating a fulfilling life.  

 

For a lot of us, it’s just about awareness.  When we, for a split second, turn off auto-pilot.

 

Now, if you think that’s not you - you don’t actually have a moment for your priorities, I invite you to think about how much margin you might have.  Those pockets of time. And what are some priorities that you would like to focus on during that time?  It could be 15 minutes here and there or an hour or two in the evening.   

 

A priority can be books or a TV show with the kids, game night on Friday night, coffee with your husband on Saturday morning, a walk, quiet time to read or do a hobby, a night out with friends.  The ideas are endless but most importantly, it’s what matters to you.  We all get to do our own thing. 

 

If you want to grab a template to help you think this through, I’ve created a daily page PDF that is a tool to bring your priorities into focus and your tasks into alignment with your abundantly busy day. You can jump over to  www.katiejefcoat.com/blog and grab your free printable daily page today.  

 

Until next time, remember, kindness is contagious. Go out into the world and spread a little kindness today. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

336-Intentional Margins® Let Go of the Rat Race Pt 1 of 2

Have you heard of Intentional Margins®? They allow you to let go of the rat race and take a breath through intentional planning. Tune in to see how. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are talking about my concept INTENTIONAL MARGINS®. 

 

INTENTIONAL MARGINS® is finding the buffer of space and time to create harmony between our to-dos and our priorities. 

 

Do you ever feel like you are running on that hamster wheel of to-dos and afraid to jump off for fear that everything will crumble?  You’re overwhelmed and can’t see the vision and all you want is some clarity.  Yeah, me too!  Or at least that was me, before I started getting super consistent with my Margins.  The space and time in the day, that wasn’t a crisis or a “have to”.

 

Now, you might be thinking, I don’t have any margin, I go non-stop all day.

 

But let’s unpack this.  If you look at your calendar you might have some commute time to work or running kids to and from school, activities, all the things.  You might have an appointment or an important conference call or meeting.  Perhaps, you have a job, like my sister, who is a nurse, and she’s working 9-5+ hours and there is no break.  She’s basically on, all day. 

 

Whatever that looks like for you.  I encourage you to take a traditional week and put all of that in your calendar.  Then, add your sleep times.  If you're an overachiever, put in the calendar the dinner making and cleaning up time too.

 

Tomorrow we’ll talk about what’s left on that calendar.  In the meantime, if you want to grab a template to help you think this through, I’ve created a daily page PDF that is a tool to bring your priorities into focus and your tasks into alignment with your abundantly busy day. You can jump over to  www.katiejefcoat.com/blog and grab your free printable daily page today.  

 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

335-My Intentional Day Free Guide

I’ve created a daily page PDF that is a tool to bring your priorities into focus and your tasks into alignment with your abundantly busy day. You can jump over to  www.katiejefcoat.com/blog and grab your free printable daily page today.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I created and tested a printable one pager on starting our days.  It’s not a planner.  It’s not a journal.  It’s a guide.  A daily page.  A template to get our brains thinking about the right things and how we are going to manage our day and the surprises that come up along the way - because let’s face it - that seems to always happen.  The best laid plans, right?   

 

If you want to grab this, it was just offered in my membership community, but I am giving it to everyone over on my website www.katiejefcoat.com/blog just click the resource image for My Intentional Day. 

 

For a long time, I would wake up, look at my emails, and then start my day. I would be reactive instead of proactive. Then I heard someone say, “your email is someone else's to-do list.” That’s when I realized my email was making me feel “productive,” but it was hollow; I wasn’t getting closer to my goals.  And I wasn't feeling good about my day. 

 

It was time to make a change. I had to find a better way to manage my day. I spent years

searching for the perfect productivity hack. What I found was that I didn't need more

time, and no productivity hack was going to help me FEEL less overwhelmed, less busy, less stressed, or less pulled in a million different directions.

 

That’s when it hit me. I just needed to do the right things for this season of my life. I knew I wanted to be busy and feel balanced. I wanted to feel like I was in control of my life even in the chaos. I wanted that illusive harmony.

 

I created My Intentional Day as a tool for me and now you to bring our priorities into focus and our tasks into alignment with our abundantly busy days.

 

The plan is simple. I walk you through the sections in the intro page of the PDF. Imagine we’re sitting on the sofa with a cup of coffee. I’m sharing with you how I finally stopped feeling overwhelmed (most of the time - I’m human ;)) and found the harmony to be busy and balanced.

 

And I always say, before you start, keep this in mind: There are a million ways to do anything, and this is your template. I encourage you to make it your own so that it works perfectly for you at this season of life. 

 

We’ll cover high level priorities, focus, tasks, gratitude and sleep.  But first, every day, we remind ourselves of our success the day before - why, because as busy as we are, we tend to get 37 of the 42 things done on our to-do list and we only remember five we didn’t complete.  That’s not how we start our day friend, it really is life changing and I can’t wait for you to get your hands on it.  So jump over to www.katiejefcoat.com/blog and grab your free printable daily page today.  

 

Until next time, remember, kindness is contagious. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

334-How To Practice Gratitude Or Should We Call It Something Else?

Practicing gratitude can feel tricky.  We don’t always “feel” like it.  What if the word gratitude was replaced by the word appreciation? It’s actually not about what we call it, but the feeling we get that fires those neurons in our brain. In my opinion, call it whatever you want.    

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and gratitude can be tricky.  If gratitude is the word that gets you hung up.  What if it was appreciation?  This is all semantics, right?  Can you appreciate something today?  Anything?  You see, that’s gratitude.  

 

What happens in our brain is that the more we notice what we appreciate, the more appreciation we will see.  What we focus on grows.  So it’s less about the phrase we call it and really have everything to do with how we feel.  What happens is the neurons in our brains are fired when we have these feelings and that’s what we want more of.  The language, what we call it, in my opinion, really doesn’t matter.   

 

So how do we fire these neurons and help our brains, really train our brains to pick out the good.  

 

We can start by observing.  Notice the small things.  Say Thank you, and mean it.  And when that situation arises where you say “thank you” take a moment and take note about how you are feeling.  

 

There is some compelling evidence that remembering the bad can make you feel grateful for the present.  This is referred to as negative visualization.  If you either remember the bad or think of a life without the thing you love, your spouse, clean drinking water, you can appreciate it more. 

 

Sharing gratitude or appreciation with others is also a surefire way to get those neurons firing.  Not only does it strengthen relationships, which we know how important social connection is for happiness, but it also puts out into the world your good vibes, your gratefulness.

 

There are a million ways to do anything and your way is the right way.  What works for you is what works for you.  You get to explore and decide what lights you up.  Perhaps a gratitude journal isn’t your thing, but sending notes of kindness and appreciation is more your style.  Well, then you know what works for you.  This exploration is all positive.  This is your recipe and you get to choose the ingredients.  

 

Until next time, remember, kindness is contagious. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/