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Do you feel overwhelmed with your todo list? Is "creating fulfilling happiness" missing from that list? Everyday Happiness with Katie Jefcoat is here to help you. In 2-minutes a day, over time, you’ll discover how to reduce overwhelm and create lasting happiness through Katie’s signature method of Intentional Margins, happiness science, and musings about life. Start your day with a positive mindset. Many of us can get deep in the feeling of overwhelm. The anxiety of our own ambition can weigh heavily on our thoughts and emotions. We lay down and close our eyes at night and our chest begins to feel heavy. More items on the to-do list than the day before. How will we ever going to get off the hamster wheel of to-dos? When are we going to start living life for more than the hustle? As a recovering lawyer and passion driven entrepreneur, Katie knew something had to change. What she found is that you can have harmony, be intentionally productive and create massive impact, all at the same time - without feeling guilty. So she asked herself a simple question: "How can I get off the hamster wheel and how can I show others how to do the same? She knew she'd had a system for herself, but she’d never put it into defining words. On August 15, 2019, she sat down at her dining room table with her friend Jenna (her business bestie). Post-It notes covering the table. This is where she first defined the concept of Intentional Margins. What are Intentional Margins? INTENTIONAL MARGINS™ (n): A buffer of space and time to create harmony between your to-do’s and your priorities. Now you can get the support you need to manage your overwhelm, one little tip at a time. Regardless of the industry, Everyday Happiness blends inspiration with a pragmatic approach to finding Harmony. You'll be encouraged to throw “balance” out the window for a more achievable approach called harmony. Through Intentional Margins™, you'll be encouraged to develop what harmony means to you, by identifying your priorities at work and at home. Every day, we'll end the podcast help you feel equipped to jump off the hamster wheel of overwhelm and go out there and crush your day. --About the Host-- Katie Jefcoat is a community curator, speaker, author and motivator who supports ambitious women (and a few good men) move from feeling hectic to harmonious. As a recovering trial lawyer, she knows first hand what it feels like to have a demanding job. As an entrepreneur with a passion that lights her hair on fire and a busy family she’s in the thick of it with you. Many people strive for balance and think overwhelm is just a part of life. Sadly, the hustle culture and our never-ending to-do list is creating a life where our priorities are getting the leftover scraps of time. Katie introduces people to what she calls - Intentional Margins™ - a kind of life in which they reduce randomness, create harmony between their to-dos and their priorities and intentionally enjoy the meaningful parts of life - without feeling guilty. Without exposure to a different way, we remain stuck on the hamster wheel of to-dos and never find the “balance” we yearn for. Katie works diligently to expose her community to different ways of doing things, because she fundamentally believes we deserve to make time for our priorities. We deserve to live a life of harmony. And it’s within our control to create it. Katie curates a smorgasbord of content related to managing your calendar, handling overwhelm, setting boundaries, reducing randomness, saying no, self-care, the power of your choices, and more in her Intentional Margins™ Membership Community -- which she calls the coziest virtual coffee shop (on Facebook). Connect and learn more at www.katiejefcoat.com.
Episodes
Monday May 30, 2022
Monday May 30, 2022
A common negative in life is wanting more and forgetting what we have already achieved. A great happiness hack is expressing gratitude for what we have. Learn more in this episode!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat.
We’ve talked about hedonic adaptation before, it’s the scientific term for adapting to what you have and wanting more. It’s kind of human nature. You get a raise at work, you get used to that salary and then you want another raise. You’ve become accustomed to that level of income and you want more.
One sure fire way to combat hedonic adaptation is really digging into gratitude. What happens in our brains is that we start to adapt to what we have and we become less grateful for these things, they become necessities rather than luxuries. So expressing our gratitude or appreciation helps trigger our brain to resist hedonic adaptation.
Now that we know this. We need to make gratitude a habit. Either in the form of a gratitude journal or intentionally thinking about gratitude. Bonus, if you tell someone. We need to rewire our brains for as much positivity as possible and gratitude is a surefire way to do it.
The more positivity, the happier we'll be.
What are you grateful for today! Let me know by DMing me on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Sunday May 29, 2022
Sunday May 29, 2022
While it is true that we all have different viewpoints on what “happiness” is, the baseline across the board is relatively similar among philosophers and scientists alike. Today, let’s look at what DOESN’T make people happier?
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are talking about the myths of happiness. While it is true that we all have different viewpoints on what “happiness” is, the baseline across the board is relatively similar among philosophers and scientists alike. But what DOESN’T make people happier?
In Sonya Lyubomirsky’s “The How of Happiness,” she lists 3 myths.
#1: Happiness Must Be Found
The language of happiness can be confusing. Oftentimes, it is described as “finding,” ‘“searching,” or “pursuing” happiness like it is a kite lost in the wind. But happiness isn’t out there playing hide and seek; it is inside of you. You must look inward, not outward.
#2: Happiness Lies in Changing Our Circumstances
Sonya puts it perfectly when she describes this thinking of “I would be happy IF (insert reason here)” or “I would be happy when (insert life change here).” For example, “I would be happy if I won the lottery” or “I would be happy when I got married.” However, science has shown that changing life circumstances, even ones for the WAYYYY better, don’t have much bearing on happiness.
#3: You Either Have It or You Don’t
Some people believe that you “have” happiness, like how you have blue eyes. You either have it or you don’t. But happiness can be learned and practiced. Even if happiness is hard to reach, it is never impossible.
That's why we practice tools that boost our happiness every single day, like showing gratitude and kindness. And on that note, remember kindness is contagious, go out and be kind. And, our brand new kindness cards are in the shop over at www.katiejefcoat.com so go check them out.
Inspired by this article in https://www.amazon.com/How-Happiness-Approach-Getting-Life-ebook/dp/B0010O927W/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2ERMZ1YQ1PK8Y&keywords=the+how+of+happiness+sonja+lyubomirsky&qid=1653406929&sprefix=the+how+of+happiness%2Caps%2C864&sr=8-1
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Saturday May 28, 2022
Saturday May 28, 2022
A silver lining is when you utilize an optimistic outlook at a negative event and it can be used as a healthy coping strategy.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are talking about silver linings. “Silver lining” is the pretty term used to describe when someone construes benefits from a trauma. Essentially, it is when you utilize an optimistic outlook at a negative event or change by finding some kind of value from that hardship.
In her book The How of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky explains that finding a silver lining is a healthy coping strategy that can significantly improve your happiness despite terrible things going on in your life. In her research, she found studies that showed people who found some sort of silver lining, from cancer patients to stroke victims, were reported to be “perfectly mentally healthy and well-adjusted.”
Many people explained that these awful circumstances initiated them to have a wake-up call. It allowed them to reorder their priorities, build relationships, grow their character, and do other heartwarming actions.
If people undergoing such challenging circumstances can find a silver lining and use it to improve their happiness, can’t we? The next time something “seemingly bad” happens to you, I encourage you to find the silver lining. Maybe you missed the bus, but that gave you five more minutes to appreciate the sunshine. Perhaps you lost your wallet, but that initiated a mall trip with your best friend. There are silver linings everywhere if you are willing to look for them!
Until next time, remember kindness is contagious, go out and be kind. And, our brand new kindness cards are in the shop over at www.katiejefcoat.com so go check them out.
Inspired by this book, The How of Happiness
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Friday May 27, 2022
Friday May 27, 2022
Today we explore the concept of Mushin No Shin, a sense of flow in martial arts that requires the person to clear their mind and enter a state of flow.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today I want to talk to you about the concept of Mushin No Shin (Moo-shin no shin), which I heard from my teammate Chelsey. Chelsey is a 3rd-degree black belt in Karate, and she uses the concept of Mushin No Shin when practicing combat and in regular life.
“Mushin No Shin” means “No-mindedness.” It is a zen expression built on the concept that the mind is not occupied by thought or emotion and is thus open to everything. You may have heard modern athletes call it a “flow-state.”
Essentially, when you surrender yourself to this state, your movements become effortless and flow from one to the next, without worry or distraction about what has been done or what needs to be done next.
Chelsey explained that when she enters her dojo, she works hard to enter the state of Mushin No Shin. That way, when she bows into her training, she leaves behind the worries of the day or the plans for after class and is solely focused on experiencing, learning from, and appreciating what is happening right that second.
It allows her to be a better martial artist because she can open her mind and be in total concentration of her training.
This was so interesting because so many thought leaders in the positive psychology space also think flow is so important for happiness. Yesterday, we talked about bliss, this state of being, this peaceful state of mind. What’s curious and thought provoking and insightful is that there are so many ways we can achieve this flow and so many cultures know and teach the benefits of it. For one, it might be the act of martial arts to find that flow, for another it might be a quiet meditation. I was watching an interview of Kevin Durant, a super famous basketball player and he said he could find flow in playing the game, where he was in a zone, there was nothing else on his mind.
So this doesn’t apply just to martial artists like Chelsey. Chelsey said that she uses this concept inside and out of class. While she never claimed to be perfect about it, she said it helps her when she needs to focus on the here and now.
I think happiness often comes from being present in the here and the now. I invite you to think about how often you are present and how that shows up for you.
Until next time, remember kindness is contagious, go out and be kind. And, our brand new kindness cards are in the shop over at www.katiejefcoat.com so go check them out.
Inspired by this article in by The Ninja Gypsy
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Thursday May 26, 2022
Thursday May 26, 2022
Bliss is such a hard word to describe, but we try our best in today’s episode.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are exploring Bliss. What is bliss and how do we find it?
The dictionary defines bliss as complete happiness. Most experts try to define bliss as a state of being. It’s just something you “know” but that’s still hard to explain. Bliss is a sense of inner joy.
The emotional feelings of happiness come and go. Like all emotions.
Bliss is something that Indian guru Sathya Sai Baba says “emerges from the heart, as a result of one’s union with the consciousness”.
I think Bliss is this knowing, the completeness, the sense that we are whole and content and at peace. Most importantly, it’s only found within.
When we are quiet, when we look within, we can find bliss. It’s the peace within us when we find calm. It’s recognizing that our thoughts and emotions are unstable and our inner core is the stability upon which we drive all energy outward.
Bliss comes from releasing negative thoughts. Being still and quiet with yourself. And possibly, connecting with others in love.
The happiness researcher George Vaillant said happiness is love, full stop. And we know that meaningful social connection is a key to happiness, so it makes sense that love would be an integral part of recognizing bliss within us.
So I would encourage you to take a quiet moment and think about what bliss means to you. And remember, kindness is contagious, so go out there and spread some kindness into the world today.
Inspired by
https://blisspot.com/blogs/how-to-create-bliss-each-and-every-day/
KINDNESS CARDS ARE OUT IN THE WORLD!! Get yours here: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/shop
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Wednesday May 25, 2022
Wednesday May 25, 2022
I went to lunch with a friend and we discussed whether true happiness is a matter of perspective.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness, where we create lasting happiness in two-ish minutes a day through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host, Katie Jefcoat, and I was talking to a friend the other day. We went to lunch. I mean, how fun is that? I went to lunch with a girlfriend and we were talking about all of the things, and we started talking about happiness and perspective and raising kids and owning companies and having husbands that work a lot. (You know, all the things that girls talk about when they get together.)
We decided the key to true happiness - simply a matter of perspective, which we agree comes from within. So what an interesting concept where happiness isn't about what you do, but about how you feel.
We know that what we focus on grows. So if we're focusing on the good, what we appreciate, our gratitude, it grows.
We then surround ourselves with the good. We have better social connections because we are surrounding ourselves with other people that are focusing on the good.
I wonder what life would look like for you if you truly jumped out of bed excited about living your ideal life, acting the way that you want to feel.
How exciting would that be?
How do we transition into a world where we get to choose happiness every single day?
Now, happiness is definitely a matter of perspective because only we can define our happiness. Whatever is enjoyable to one person may not be enjoyable to another, which is why we are starting a new series that is going to launch this summer, asking you questions, the audience, the people that are listening to this podcast about what makes you happy, how do you define happiness?
What does happiness look like in your world? And I can't wait to highlight all of you. It's going to be so exciting and it is really, really going to be impactful.
So if you're interested in being interviewed by me on this podcast, make sure you send me a DM, and we will be sure to get you scheduled and let you know when your personal episode airs.
Remember, kindness is contagious. So go out into the world and be kind. Share kindness.
And if you want the honors course, Kindness Cards are ready for you in the shop at www.katiejefcoat.com
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Tuesday May 24, 2022
Tuesday May 24, 2022
Will getting married make you happy? In this episode, I give you proof of whether or not getting hitched will increase your happiness until death do you part.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are talking about marriage! Many of us have been told that a successful life is one that follows the standard evolution of “education, homeownership, marriage, 2.5 kids, and holding hands on the back porch as the sun sets.” Today, I want to talk about one point of that bell curve, marriage. Does marriage actually make people happier?
Many studies have shown that strong social bonds are a critical component of a happy life. Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky says in her book, The How of Happiness, that “one of the most important functions of a social bond is the provision of social support in times of stress, distress, and trauma.” She explains that such social support can be tangible (like a ride to the hospital), emotional (being listened to), and informational (providing advice.)
Additionally, she shows that these social bonds don’t suffer hedonic adaptation; we still want them even after we have obtained them. BUT, and yes that is a big butt! Sonja also states that you don’t need to be married or even have a romantic relationship to be happy. You can build these relationships with others, and studies have shown that those who choose to remain single often build deeper, longer-lasting relationships with friends and family than those who are married.
So, am I telling you not to get married? Absolutely not! I love my husband and our marriage. What I am telling you is to not let your happiness ride on the “I have to get married to be happy” concept. Legally, marriage is just a ring, a piece of paper, and a tax break. What makes a happy marriage is the commitment you make to each other. It is making Intentional Margins to be appreciative, putting effort into creating happy moments, and cherishing one another through good times and bad. Marriage itself won’t make a happy couple; a dedicated couple makes a happy marriage.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Inspired by this book The How of Happiness.
Monday May 23, 2022
Monday May 23, 2022
Is the pursuit of happiness just a scam? Is it a worthwhile endeavor or just a marketing tactic? Learn the answer in this episode!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are talking scams! The pursuit of happiness, gratitude, and other concepts to increase one's enjoyment in life are trending; it has a louder voice than ever before. However, just because something is trending doesn't make it true, which may lead some to believe that the pursuit of happiness is a scam.
I am here to tell you that is FALSE! Taking the time and putting in the effort is worth it. But why, Katie? Let me explain! In her book The How of Happiness, Dr. Sonya Lyubomirsky recounted her collaboration with Ed Diener and Laura King, where they documented a massive library of psychological literature. The overwhelming result was happiness is vital for life.
Sonya says, "becoming happier doesn't just make you feel good. It turns out that happiness brings with it multiple fringe benefits. Compared to their less happy peers, happier people are more sociable and energetic, more charitable and cooperative, and better liked by others. Not surprisingly, then, happier people are more likely to get married and stay married, and to have a richer network of social support."
On top of all that, Sonja also states that happier people show greater flexibility, ingenuity, and productivity. They become better leaders and earn more money. They are physically healthier and live longer.
Obviously, the pursuit of happiness is a worthwhile venture, but it is important how you go about it. Many people out there will claim doing "something" will make you instantly happier. It may, or it may not. The pursuit of happiness is a personal journey unique to you. You have to find what works best for you, and it may take some trial and error. However, I encourage you to keep trying until you find that something that works! If you are looking for ideas, check out Sonya's book; it is a gem that keeps on giving!
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Inspired by this book The How of Happiness.
Sunday May 22, 2022
Sunday May 22, 2022
Did you know that kindness is contagious! Learn what the 3 degrees of separation are and how you can use them to spread kindness to all.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are talking about why kindness is contagious! I know the word "contagious" gets a bad rap, but it is actually a good thing here! Let me explain.
Dr. David R Hamilton is a kindness scientist, and he explains that one act of kindness can create 3 degrees of separation.
Pause, Katie! What does “3 degrees of separation” mean? It means that when you perform an act of kindness, the recipient is more likely to perform one to another person. Then that person is more likely to spread the love, and on it goes. It is like a ripple effect, where a single drop of kindness in the pond of life grows larger and larger.
Dr. Hamilton explains that kindness can be initiated in three different ways as well.
First, when someone is kind to you, you feel happier and are more likely to be kind to someone else.
Second, when someone is kind to you, you feel relief. Stress can block natural actions of kindness, but kindness received can remove the stress and help pass on happiness feelings.
Third, when someone is kind to you, you feel inspired and motivated by their kind actions (viewing it as something you SHOULD be doing). So, you do it too.
So, what can we do with that? You have the power to initiate that kindness each and every day. By turning it into an Intentional Margin®, you can spread kindness and happiness in the world. My challenge to you is to create an Intentional Margin® for kindness and to do it every single day. It doesn't have to be anything big. It could be buying the stranger behind you a cup of coffee, it could be calling a loved one just to say hi, or it could be offering to help your elderly neighbor with some household chores. Whether it takes 5-minutes or an afternoon, you can spread kindness and happiness to make a positive difference in your life and theirs.
You could also send a kindness card, check them out over at www.katiejefcoat.com and spread some kindness today. Remember, kindness is contagious and you can be part of the ripple effect.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Saturday May 21, 2022
Saturday May 21, 2022
Science has shown that kindness improves our happiness and health on genetic, physical, mental, and emotional levels. Learn more in this podcast, part two of two!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are talking about the science of kindness. Some people out there will say that kindness isn’t a science, but I am here to tell you that they are wrong and I have proof. Today, I am going to give you three scientific examples of how kindness is scientific.
Example #1 is that kindness is in our genetic wiring.
Studies have shown there are 15 levels or variants in the oxytocin receptor gene. Remember, oxytocin is the hormone that promotes compassion, kindness, and empathy. These levels have lighter variants, the kinder variants, and darker, the less inclined to be kind variants. What does this mean? This research shows us that kindness is in our genetic wiring.
Example #2 is that acts of kindness boost happiness.
The National Library of Medicine performed a 7-day experiment on how specific kindness activities affected happiness levels. They compared acts of kindness to strong social ties, weak social ties, novel acts of self-kindness, and observing acts of kindness against a control group with no acts. That was a mouthful, huh?
Well, the results indicated that
- Performing kindness activities increased happiness.
- There wasn't a difference in who the act was performed to.
- There was a correlation between the number of actions and the increase in happiness.
This shows that acts or observance of kindness to yourself or someone else, stranger or friend, boosted happiness.
And Example #3 is that performing acts of kindness provides physical, emotional, and mental health benefits.
Studies have shown that performing a SINGLE act of kindness floods your body and the recipient’s body with feel-good hormones that make you calmer, happier, and healthier. They include:
o Serotonin which heals wounds, increases calmness, and promotes relaxation
o Endorphins which reduces pain
o Oxytocin which reduces blood pressure
These same studies have also shown that performing acts of kindness can:
o Reduce stress, anxiety, and depression
o Reduces aches and pains
o Increases confidence
o Increases longevity
Living longer, feeling better, and being more relaxed just from one little act a day! I don't think that it gets much better than that.
To finish out this episode, I am going to leave you with a quote and challenge you to think about how you can spread kindness. “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”- Aesop, the ancient Greek storyteller.
So go out there and spread some kindness today, because, remember, kindness is contagious.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/