Everyday Happiness - Finding Harmony and Bliss

383-Let’s Write a Thank You Today!

As we zoom through life, we often forget to say thanks to those who serve or provide for us well. I challenge you to write a thank you card today in recognition of their efforts. Learn why in this podcast episode!

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I just wanted to say “thanks” 

 

Giving thanks can be so simple, and yet - it slips by.  How many times have you thought about going out of your way to say thanks or write that YELP review for excellent service, but got distracted or too busy.  We’re missing opportunities to give gratitude all day long.    

 

If you work with others, the research says that giving thanks actually helps employee productivity.  Makes perfect sense, right.  We want to reward good behavior and get more of it.  This is what I think makes exceptional non-profits stand out above the crowd.  It’s their massive gratitude for their volunteers.  

 

I invite you to write a thank-you note. Not only can it make you happier (we’ve learned that kindness for others boosts happiness) but sharing with another person your appreciation of their  impact on your life, big or small boosts their happiness too.  Pop it in the mail or deliver in person.  I’m working on making a habit of sending at least one gratitude letter a month. I invite you to join me.  

 

In the meantime, if you’ve enjoyed listening to Everyday Happiness, please share it with your networks, I would be so grateful. And, if you want a fun Kindness Card postcard to send that Thank You on, head over to our shop www.katiejefcoat.com 

 

Inspiration for this episode and the research mentioned comes from a 2011 article from Harvard Health.  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

382-Sharing A Kindness Is Contagious Experience

Hey friend, today, I can’t wait to share an experience I just had with you.  Listen in.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host, Katie Jefcoat, and today, I just want to share with you (totally off the cuff) a quick story about kindness that happened to me earlier today.

 

I was at the post office getting some postcard stamps for the Kindness Cards that I'm sending out, which I am absolutely loving, it's so much fun. There was one guy working at the desk, and there were seven people in line. The printer for the actual mail postage kept getting jammed, the guy at the desk was really frustrated, the line was taking forever. 

 

Two guy in front of me, non native English speaker, was a very nice gentlemen who had some packages to send. He thought that he had to show the postman the contents of the package before he taped it up. But what he realized was that he was supposed to have already taped the box, and he didn't bring tape with him to the post office. 

 

The post office doesn't give people tape to tape up their packages (at least not at my post office). He told the guy look, there's a rack of tape and packing supplies, you can buy whatever tape you need, tape your boxes, come back, and I will finish your order. 

 

You could tell that this guy was frustrated. He walked away, he said, “I'm waiting in line for 45 minutes and now I've got to do this.” He was kind of huffing and puffing. He really thought he would get out of there pretty quick and he saw the really long line and thought maybe he had to go stand in the back of the line again. I can see this frustration. He was clearly frustrated. 

 

It just so happened that at the stop before the post office, I purchased packing tape. No lie! I purchased packing tape at the FedEx store at the stop before. And so I said, “hey, I have packing tape in my car. Let me go get it.” So I ran out to the car, I grabbed my brand spanking new, tons of packing tape, brought it back in, gave it to the guy and I said use as much as you want, here's your packing tape. 

 

He was so thankful! And I don't even know what came over me to think I needed more packing tape when I was at the FedEx store but maybe it was for this exact reason. I don't know - the universe does some funny things sometimes. But he was so appreciative. 

 

He used the packing tape, and he gave it back to me. I bought my postcard stamps. I was on my way, he got to cut back in line because the postman already had the labels printed and ready to go for him. And he was so thankful. 

 

You know how they talk about helpers, it makes you feel good. Well, of course, I felt great! I got to help somebody, I love that. He really appreciated the kindness when and could tell, he was very annoyed. In a way, I think maybe I was able to flip the script for him and I was able to turn his day around, he wasn't as frustrated at the post office and what a blessing that is. 

I just wanted to share with you how little acts of kindness make such a big difference and really have this ripple effect. Even the postman said, “thanks for helping out the customer”. He was in a better mood and it just felt like the air had gotten a little lighter. 

 

So, if that inspires you, I just hope that it does and go out and spread some kindness into the world. Don't forget, kindness really is contagious. 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

381-Personal Core Values

Today I share my experience and outcomes from working on my core values with my friend and life coach, Wendy Reed.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and a few months ago I did an exercise with my friend Wendy Reed on identifying my core values.  What really matters to me and what deeply held beliefs do I have.  It was a fascinating exercise and I’ll drop Wendy's contact into the show notes if you want to check her out.  

 

What I discovered was that “order” was really high on my list.  I like things to be in order. I am flexible, but I’m the gal with the back-up plan just in case.  I don’t fly by the seat of my pants and I am not calm when the things around me are disheveled for very long.  

 

That’s why my weekend of tidying up in episode 380 was so busy but felt so good, because to me, all was well again when order resumed and the space felt calm and aligned.   I wonder if that is because we live in such a busy hustle society that for me, having order helps me gain some control of what my brain thinks of as chaos.  

 

I am sharing this with you, because up until I realized this was truly one of my core values, I just thought it was an annoyance and something I was fighting against instead of listening to my inner self and accepting that this core value for me, order, is how I operate best.     

 

I believe when we understand our core values, when we are living with intention, we gain that clarity and calm that we’re after.  I think the calm that we seek is really the happiness that we’re after.  When we’re aligned, and it’s not 24/7 + 365, but when that happens, we are at our truest level of fulfilled happiness because we are living in purpose and satisfaction and we’re feeling clarity, peace and calm. 

 

So hear me out,  I don’t think clarity, peace and calm have to be in meditation or laying at a beach or in a situation where you are not thinking of anything.  I kinda think we can find that clarity, peace and calm when we’re busy, when we’re in flow, when we’re living in our busy and abundant priorities. 

 

It’s food for thought, right?  Can we be so aligned with our values that we are happy and also abundantly busy in this season of life?  I’d love to know your thoughts.  

 

If you subscribe to our email and get this podcast delivered daily to your inbox, you can just click the reply button.  If you want the daily email or Kindness Cards, head over to katiejefcoat.com.

 

And remember, kindness is contagious. 

 

Wendy Reed Coaching: https://www.wendyreedcoaching.com/ 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

380-How A Messy Home Messes With My Happiness

Hey Friend, I don’t know about you, but a messy house for too long can really weigh me down.  In this episode I share how I got my kids to help me bring order back to our home, which is one of my core values. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and this past weekend was so busy, I went to sleep Sunday night and I asked myself, where did I create Intentional Margins® this weekend.  Typically, weekends are busy running children to and from activities and such.  But this weekend I was on a mission to get my house cleaned.  I have an 11-year-old little boy that loves to pick up trinkets and fidget items and set them down anywhere and everywhere.  

 

I was just feeling like we needed to put all the things away that were out of order.  Do you ever have that feeling where the house feels out of sorts.  I was at my breaking point. And frankly, I was feeling like I had way too much stuff.

 

My husband has been in Covid isolation in our basement to try to keep our children from getting bit by the Covid bug.  It’s been 7 days and they are Covid-Free.  So this past weekend was just me and the kids.  

 

I had been warning them for days that Saturday was going to be a full day of cleaning.  I’m talking floors, toilets, all the bed sheets, and all the laundry.   And, that included some detailed work tidying up their study space, putting away all the things that were out of place, and helping my daughter re-organize her closet, since I swear she lives out of laundry baskets of clean clothes.   

 

Having things in order is such a high value for me, that it felt great, even on hour 10.  But the children are perfectly happy to live in disarray.  And my husband was blissfully ignorant, (and I am sure thankful he didn’t have to do the work), in his Covid isolation space in our basement, behind a HEPA filter and a solid door.  

 

I even managed to get my teenage daughter to help me clean my car before I took her to Target.  The stars had aligned.  

 

Sunday was spent doing more laundry.  Washing all of the things.  Every single towel, all the sheets we took off the beds the day before. And running a ton of errands.  I don’t know about you, but I had a few online purchases that I wanted to return.  That meant I needed to get on the computer to make the returns online and print the return label, and then bring them to the UPS store or the Post Office and those things take time and effort.  

 

I still have some things that I didn’t accomplish, but I felt pretty good about my productive weekend when I went to sleep on Sunday night and I realized that having the time and space to fix the things in my house that were causing me stress (the long list of tidying up and laundry to the heavens) was a sort of Intentional Margin® because I woke up Monday morning feeling so refreshed and calm.  Because order is such a high personal value for me.  When things are in order, I feel calm and having the house, where I also work, in order is like a breath of fresh air. 

 

So today, I invite you to look around your surroundings and see if there is anything you can do to enhance them that is in alignment with your core values.  Episodes 36 & 37 also talk about core values a bit. 

 

Oh, and as a side-note, my daughter and I did watch the original Top Gun this past weekend, so I was able to also reflect on that Intentional Margin® which also aligns with my core values of family and connection.  Sometimes we forget how good it was if we are not intentional about counting our blessings. 

 

Until next time, grab those Kindness Cards over in the shop at www.katiejefcoat.com and remember, kindness is contagious.  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

379-Success and Happiness

Today I’m pondering how success and happiness actually work together, in our favor. Listen in on how the minimalist movement champions the satisfaction prong of happiness. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been pondering success and happiness and how those two ideas marry one another.  For me, I feel the purpose and satisfaction prong of happiness when I am feeling successful helping others.  My work feels purposeful when I am successful.  But I also dream of a month on a deserted island sipping drinks with umbrellas and hanging out with friends and family.  Although, I know I’d get bored in about 4 days, I still dream of what that would be like.  Maybe it’s because I’m in the hustle and bustle of work and kids and a busy season of life.      

 

So when I saw an article published by Becoming Minimalist about Success and Happiness, I was intrigued.  It said “[r]ather than defining success by the brand of clothing we can afford, may we find it in the number of people we have helped to clothe. … Rather than defining success by the type of car that we drive, may we find it in those we have picked up in life and set down on a better road.  Rather than defining success by how loud our voice is, may we find it in how often we spoke up for those without one.”  

 

Friend, this is so aligned with happiness work that we are going each day on this podcast.  Yet, as humans we can get caught up in the swirl of life.  So it’s such a good reminder. 

 

The section of the happiness definition we focus on during this podcast is the purpose and satisfaction prong. 

 

Arthur Brooks says that “productive human endeavor creates a sense of purpose in life.” This is often our work if you are younger than 65 years old. But it doesn’t have to be.  It can be any endeavor, a political action, a hobby.   

 

Satisfaction comes from your haves not your wants.  This is where the Minimalist movement focuses.  On the haves not the wants.  And getting our human nature, our society, to want less.  

 

So today, I’m contemplating how success quantifies not in the material items money can buy, but the people I can serve.  And my morning meditation is about being grateful and appreciative of what I have and releasing the desires of what I want.   

 

I invite you to join me.  Send me a DM or post on social using the hashtag #IntentionalMargins and let me know what you think about this concept.  

 

And remember, kindness is contagious.  

 

Inspired by: Defining Success Differently, 

https://www.becomingminimalist.com/defining-success-differently/?fbclid=IwAR0ULcbQdBEO2tkM7_cft2mDlqaHb5VZgiBRyGPeUDcwISbMoOoKUU04pCc

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

378-As If Principle

Do you want to change your mentality or actions? Sometimes, you need to fake it til you make it, and you can do so with the As If Principle. Learn more today!

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I recently learned that we can alter our happiness quota by acting “as if”.  We can change our thoughts and the way we approach things by acting “as if”.  This is this scientific principle called the As-If principle.  You think about the person you want to be, you think about the thoughts you want to entertain and you make it so by acting that way.  It’s kind of like, fake it till you make it.  

 

For happiness, the first step is you start smiling more.  One way to make sure you are smiling and releasing those chemicals to the brain that says “oh she’s happy” is to take a pencil, put it lengthwise between your back molars and then smile.  This is the big smile that gives you crows feet and also tells your brain, oh, they’re happy.  

 

I invite you to ask yourself, who do I want to be? Use I AM statements. 

I AM a patient and caring mother.

I AM an exceptional wife. 

I AM a thoughtful friend. 

I AM acting as if everything is possible. 

 

I encourage you to write these down every single day to remind yourself of how you are going to show up today. 

 

Share with me your I AM statements over in my direct messages @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and if you are inspired, please send me your smile selfie at the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #EverydayHappinessWithKatie   

 

And remember, kindness is contagious. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

377-Easy 3 Step Approach to Happiness

Learning, applying, sharing! This 3 step approach can help you improve your happiness. Learn more about the brain science behind it today!

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and in my quest for understanding happiness on a more scientific level, it became clear that there are 3 steps to this process, and this process can really be for anything that you are obsessed with learning more about.  First, to learn & understand it.  Second, to apply it to your life.  Third, to share it with other people.  You literally will get happier, says the science, when you share with others. 

 

Sharing is important because it makes it meta-cognative. Feelings live in the limbic system of the brain, you can’t control it, it’s in the oldest part of your brain.  But, when you share it, you move it from the oldest limbic system to the Prefrontal Cortex part of your brain, where you do your conscious thinking, your executive function, then you can manage it.    

 

This is how we change our brain and get better at happiness. 

 

We can take a moment, think about the feelings we are having, name them and then we can work on and change our thoughts and that can make a huge difference for our happiness. 

 

I’m going to try it the next time I’m feeling less than happy.  And in the meantime, I’ll be learning about all the happiness, so that I can share it with you, every single day.  

 

Until next time, remember, kindness is contagious. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

 

376-Are You Making Deposits in Your Happiness Account?

Happiness habits are like making deposits. By consistently putting happiness "money" in your account, you will gradually build greater happiness in your life. Learn more in this podcast episode! 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and your circumstances and habits play a critical role in defining your happiness.  Our habits are where we can make the most change.  

 

The research is pretty solid on the fact that 50% of your happiness is genetic.  That’s your baseline and you shouldn’t worry about that.  Arthur Brooks says then you should think about your circumstances and your habits.  

 

And for circumstances, you shouldn’t get too caught up in those either because the science indicates that the happiness based on circumstances comes and goes, you get over that really quickly, good or bad, because we are so resilient.  You get a new job, you are happy for a while, but then you come down.  You stub your toe, it hurts for a moment, but then you regain some happiness.  You are excited you won the contest, and that fades.     

 

He says, your happiness habits are where you can make the happiness deposits to increase your personal happiness.   He says to focus on faith - family - friendships - work.  (work part 1) earning your success and (work part 2) serving people. 

 

This has got me thinking.   Am I making deposits into my happiness buckets?  And, are those really the buckets for me and my happiness? What do you think of these 4 happiness buckets: faith - family - friendships - work?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  You can DM me over at @everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram and Facebook.  

 

And remember, kindness is contagious. And, of course, if you haven’t checked out our Kindness Cards over at the shop, pop over there and take a peek at www.katiejefcoat.com.   

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

 

375-Gratitude Makes People Happier

The number one predictor of happiness is gratitude! In this episode, we explore methods of applying and achieving this method  of happiness. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and the number one predictor of happiness is gratitude.  

 

Here is one simple way to get that gratitude practice in every day. 

 

• On Sunday, list 5 things you are most grateful for. 
• Each night of the week review the list 
• Add to the list on the following Sunday 

 

Authur Brooks, a Harvard professor on this subject says you will get 10-25% happier over 10 weeks, according to the science he’s researched, because you will REMEMBER the things that are really important to you.  And heck, it can be that the trees are green.  Just do something. 

 

Do you keep track of your gratitude?  I’m curious if my listeners out there have a gratitude practice and what it is.  I’m always looking for new ways to practice gratitude or think about this topic and I know I’m not alone.  Send me a DM @everydayhappinesswithkatie.   

 

If you have a gratitude journal, snap a pic and share with the hashtags  #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram so we can have some inspiration. 

 

And remember, kindness is contagious. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

 

374-Who Is Happier Introverts Vs Extroverts

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Is one type of person happier than the other? Learn more in this podcast!

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been thinking, you know the saying “blondes have more fun”, well, are extroverts happier? 

 

I’m married to an introvert and these last few years have brought out some of my own introvert tendencies, but I’m an extrovert by nature and I’m pretty happy, so what’s the answer? 

 

Well, extroverts might be happier. You would think it’s because they are around other people and that makes them happier, but what the science says is that it’s because they are around other people AND they are talking about the future and happy things, things that makes them happy.  

 

Society rewards extroverts, you see this in leadership roles. They do well in evaluations for work and that makes them pretty happy. 

 

But introverts actually tend to make better decisions, they are more thoughtful.  They don’t shoot from the hip the same way that extraverts can.  Generalizing of course.  

 

Introverts have a few really close friends that they cultivate and have intimate conversations with.  

 

While, extroverts on average, have trouble committing to these few deep friendships because we are always out looking for something new. We like to talk about the exciting future.  We like to will or force good things into our lives.  

 

The science indicates that if introverts can express the exciting future and if extroverts can just slow down, regardless of which side you fall on, you can increase your happiness. That’s great news.  

 

So, are you an introvert or an extrovert?  Does that give you any ah-ha take-aways?  DM me on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and let me know.   

 

And remember, kindness is contagious. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/