Everyday Happiness - Finding Harmony and Bliss

413-Best of May 2022: Appreciating What We Have Already

We’re replaying our most popular episodes from the past year.  In case you missed it or want a reminder, here is the most listened to episode in May 2022.  

 

A common negative in life is wanting more and forgetting what we have already achieved. A great happiness hack is expressing gratitude for what we have. Learn more in this episode! 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat.

 

We’ve talked about hedonic adaptation before, it’s the scientific term for adapting to what you have and wanting more.  It’s kind of human nature.  You get a raise at work, you get used to that salary and then you want another raise.  You’ve become accustomed to that level of income and you want more. 

 

One sure fire way to combat hedonic adaptation is really digging into gratitude.   What happens in our brains is that we start to adapt to what we have and we become less grateful for these things, they become necessities rather than luxuries.  So expressing our gratitude or appreciation helps trigger our brain to resist hedonic adaptation.

 

Now that we know this.  We need to make gratitude a habit.  Either in the form of a gratitude journal or intentionally thinking about gratitude.  Bonus, if you tell someone.  We need to rewire our brains for as much positivity as possible and gratitude is a surefire way to do it.

 

The more positivity, the happier we'll be. 

 

What are you grateful for today!  Let me know by DMing me on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

412-Best of April 2022: How To Train Your Brain For More Positivity?

We’re replaying our most popular episodes from the past year.  In case you missed it or want a reminder, here is the most listened to episode in April 2022.  

 

The five steps to boost happiness in today’s episode.   

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we are continuing our discussion on training our brains to think more positively.  

 

Shawn Anchor, New York Times Bestselling Author and happiness expert says that if you, for 21 days, practice any of these things I am going to outline in a minute, these small things, you can create a ripple the effect in your brain and scientifically change the neurons in your brain to be a more positive person.   That’s incredible and honestly, none of these ideas are new.  

 

There are five things we can do, today, to start to create new neuro-pathways in our brains and become more positive and happier.  

 

First is three new gratitudes each day.  This looks like writing in a gratitude journal at least three new gratitudes every single day. 

 

Second, Shawn Anchor is big on journaling.  He says, journal about one positive experience you’ve had over the last twenty-four hours.  Really think about all of the details, all of the emotion, re-live that experience while writing it into your journal. 

 

Third is that exercise teaches your brain that your body matters and he says, we need to get out and move our bodies. 

 

Fourth, meditate.  He thinks meditation helps us to get over the cultural ADHD when we multitask. I can see that.  But if meditation is not your thing, don’t put pressure on yourself.  

 

Finally, he says random acts of kindness are a sure-fire way to start that change to develop a more positive mindset.  His example was so simple: If we can get people to open their email and praise or thank one person in their social or support network every day, we can create change.  Of course, I think handwriting three sentences on a postcard would be going the extra mile.  

 

If we do these things, we can re-train our brains to think more positively and create a ripple revolution. Which leads to more happiness - scientifically.   

 

I’m curious, where will you start today, let me know - I’m over @everydayhappinesswithkatie. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

411-Best of March 2022: When Tasks Draw More Energy Than Time

We’re replaying our most popular episodes from the past year.  In case you missed it or want a reminder, here is the most listened to episode in March 2022.  

 

It’s easy to add an appointment into your calendar.  I invite you to reflect on whether some of those tasks actually require more time because of the energy that is needed to complete the task and recover. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I wanted to talk about tasks and energy.  I love the concept of an ideal week.  I have been obsessed for years about this.  But I don’t think it’s fair to ourselves to create ideal weeks if we haven't identified how we use our energy.  It’s so easy to block time for this task or that task.  But what good is that if that’s not when our bodies tell us this is the right time for this specific task.  

 

I would encourage you to think about your big recurring tasks and what energy they require.  

 

Start by asking yourself: with what times of day am I most aligned for the task.  For example, for me, any deep work or writing, I’m best in the early morning.  So I like to block my morning time for creativity.  

 

Second, ask yourself how much energy this will take.  Have you ever been thinking a lot or making a lot of decisions and you feel exhausted.  Like you cannot do another thing.  Yeah.  That’s when you know the task takes more than the actual hours to complete.  

 

For example, if I need to prepare for a podcast interview.  It may take me 1 hour to prepare, 30 minutes to complete the interview and 30-60 more minutes to recover from the energy expended to be my best.   For me, a zoom call is great in the afternoon lull, I feed off connection, so an afternoon appointment works well for me, because it gives me energy instead of depleting it.   If you are a coach, you may experience that you need considerable downtime after each coaching session.   I think sometimes we don’t give ourselves enough time to recover and manage our energy, so knowing what works for you is so critical to managing your day.  These are great Intentional Margins® to put into your calendar.  

 

So next time you are managing your calendar, I invite you to look at the time and energy it takes to complete the task and perhaps add a little Intentional Margin into your day.  

 

Until next time, remember Kindness is Contagious, spreading a smile goes a long way. If you want to get the podcast delivered to your inbox, just subscribe at https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness.

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

410-Best of February 2022: Wanting Less

We’re replaying our most popular episodes from the past year.  In case you missed it or want a reminder, here is the most listened to episode in February 2022.  

 

As humans, we’re hardwired to always want more than we have, whether that’s material things or achievements.  One aspect of happiness comes from achieving satisfaction by wanting what we already have.

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been recently obsessed with this idea that wanting less will boost my happiness.  I know that I could “have” a new handbag, I could financially afford it, but do I need it?  No?  Do I want it?  Maybe not?  I’ve started looking at material goods through the eyes of happiness and satisfaction.  And what has been really interesting is that I compare myself to others who have similar financial means and I don’t look anything like them.  I’m not dressed like they are.  I am not driving the fancy car like they are.  My kids are not in private school.  We’re just different.  And I am not here to judge, they could be just as happy.  This is all internally within me.  

 

It’s almost like I’ve fallen off the wagon the other way, I’m, so anti-material status type things, the outward facing things, that I am running around in my athleisure all day not even trying. 

 

Of course we want to reach for the next rung on the ladder and have this feeling of satisfaction within us.  I am not sure us humans are hardwired to achieve satisfaction.  On some level, we are all reaching for the next step. Whether that’s a goal, a professional achievement or the material thing that only makes us feel happy in the fleeting moment.  

 

I’m consciously trying to get off the treadmill and it’s hard. We are hardwired to want.  We’ve talked about this, the hedonic treadmill.  We think satisfaction is getting what we want.  The promotion, the achievement, the material thing.  But really, satisfaction is wanting what we have.  The hard work is keeping satisfaction. When you are satisfied with what you have, and a week or a month passes and even a moment, and you truly don’t want for more.  

 

What I’ve found is that this is something that needs constant awareness for me.  When I can check myself and ask myself, why do I want this?  I am better equipped to make a rational decision of whether I truly need the thing I want.  

 

Celebrating the wins also helps to solidify the achievement.  Most of us tend to chase the next thing, rarely slowing down to celebrate the achievement.  So this is a great way to slow down and feel the feelings.  

 

As we start March, 2022, 2 years after the beginning of the global pandemic, this is a great time to reflect on whether you want less and if you require less and if so, how are you going to stay mindful about this and we run full speed to the new normal.  

 

If you are enjoying this podcast, consider subscribing so you get this downloaded on your favorite podcast player.  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

409-Best of January 2022: Intentional Margins® Create Happiness

We’re replaying our most popular episodes from the past year.  In case you missed it or want a reminder, here is the most listened to episode in January 2022.  

 

Intentional Margins® create happiness because when we are in harmony and fulfilling our priorities, we can’t help but feel happiness.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and a Margin Maker in our monthly membership said this recently and it struck me.  She realized she was creating margins for happiness.  For what was fulfilling and purposeful to her.  In turn, she said she’s happier.  

 

If you have these Intentional Margins®, whether it’s a buffer of time between appointments and obligations to take a deep breath and be intentional about how you want to show up, or a longer Intentional Margin to spend some time doing something that lights your hair on fire or feeds you.  

 

If you have Intentional Margin® it’s a lot harder to be stressed out when we are running from thing to thing.  I truly believe we can be busy and balanced, if we are focusing our time on the right things, our priorities, in this season.  And, with the awareness that we can always pivot. 

 

I encourage you, like we do in the membership, to write down your Intentional Margin® for the day.  It can be a walk with your dog, 30-minutes to gather your thoughts and journal or sit quietly.  It can be 2 minutes to just reframe your mindset before jumping on a call or picking up your kid from school.  All of these margins matter.  Over time and combined, they make us happier.  

 

The last thing any of us want is to get to the end of the week, the end of the year, or god forbid the end of life and wonder what it was all for.  Checking off the todo list of other people’s priorities is going to feel really crappy if that’s what we see when we look back.  Instead, I invite you to create an Intentional Margin® for yourself that promotes some calm and happiness, that invites you to act in service of whatever your priority is right now.     

 

This is all about finding the harmony between our todos and our priorities because what I know for sure, is that checking off the todo list does not create a fulfilled happy life.   

 

So, what will your Intentional Margins® be today, let us know so we can celebrate you! 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

408-Best of December 2021: The 37 of 42 Things On Our To-do List

We’re replaying our most popular episodes from the past year.  In case you missed it or want a reminder, here is the most listened to episode in December 2021.  

 

Why is it that we get 37 of the 42 things done on our to-do list and all we think about are the 5 things we didn’t get done.  Friends, this has got to stop. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, okay, who’s with me.  We get 37 of the 42 things done on our to-do list and all we think about are the 5 things we didn’t get done.  Right?  I’m not sure why we do this to ourselves, but us women, especially us women, we’re so good at this and it seems to be universal.   

 

I’ve added to my daily page this section that says “yesterday was a success because:”  Why, because I feel we need to be reminded of all the accomplishments and the feeling of what we did do, as we start our new day, instead of putting that guilt on ourselves of what we didn’t get done.  

 

Honestly, we could be superwoman and we are never getting done all the things that are on our own to-do lists.  I mean, who do we think we are when we are writing out our tasks for the day?  It’s super-human the amount of tasks we think we can get done, let alone the caring for others and little humans in our lives that need us and they don’t care if it’s convenient - right? 

 

Today, I wanted to tell you that I feel you.  I feel that heavy to-do list.  I feel the spinning of all the plates.  And I want to invite you to take a deep breath.  And honor what you’ve accomplished.  I’m doing this right along with you.  We deserve to be busy and balanced when we set our Intentional Margins® and live in our priorities and have that clarity that guides us throughout the day.  You can do it.  I believe in you.  If you need a little pep talk, jump into my DMs and I’ll reply to you personally. Until next time. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

407-Best of November 2021: How Does Purchasing Stuff During The Holidays Affect Happiness?

We’re replaying our most popular episodes from the past year.  In case you missed it or want a reminder, here is the most listened to episode in November 2021.  

 

As the give-giving holidays approach, let’s take a look at happiness and the nice things we like.   

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and as the holidays approach, I’m thinking a lot about stuff, both gift giving and the kids holiday wish lists.  

 

The science indicates that the more we want the less life satisfaction we will experience. The less happy we will be.   But the thing is, we want this stuff and we think the “nice” thing, whatever it is, fill in the blank, will make us happier.  If we didn’t think that we wouldn’t buy it.  Yet, the science (Nickerson Et Al. (2003)) says that’s a total trick and stuff won’t actually make us happier.     

 

As we enter the holiday season I invite you to think about the stuff you are purchasing and ask yourself if this is really what you want and what you want to give.   It feels good to give someone a nice thing, and they may be happy in the moment, but the research indicates that it won’t last and then, they are left with this thing. 

 

Another way to think about the holiday season is the gift of time, spending time with the people you love.  Also, using experiences as gifts instead of things.  For example, we just saw an advertisement for a season pass to an amusement park near us.  My little boy loves roller coasters and he wants to go to this particular amusement park more often.  So, we are going to purchase an annual pass during this holiday sale, something we would purchase anyway next Spring, and wrap it up for him.  This is an experience we can do as a family.  This is something we know the kids will enjoy and we aren’t adding more stuff into our home, that, frankly, I’ll have to dust. 

 

And let’s not forget, all these toys won’t actually make our kids happier in the long run either. It’s never about the stuff. 

 

Now, a confession.  I love the tradition of opening a lot of presents, it brings me joy - it really does make me happy for this moment.  So, I wrap a lot of little presents that don’t even matter, so we have that experience.  Everything from a new toothbrush, socks, a flashlight, these experiences I mentioned are on a piece of paper and wrapped in a box.  So we can still get that joy in the experience of unwrapping gifts while not focusing on the materialistic part of gifts that can waste money and don’t bring us the level of happiness that we expect for the amount of money we just spent. 

 

I’m curious, what is your holiday gift giving strategy?  Connect with us @everydayhappinesswithkatie over on social. 

 

References include:  Nickerson et al. (2003). Zeroing on the Dark Side of the American Dream: A Closer Look at the Negative Consequences of the Goal for Financial Success. Psychological Science, 14, 531-536.

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

406-Best of October 2021:Time & Priorities: Time Management Hacks Will Never Help You Feel Balanced

We’re replaying our most popular episodes from the past year.  In case you missed it or want a reminder, here is the most listened to episode in October 2021.  

 

I can give you all of the time management tricks in the book, but you still won’t feel balanced or happy.  You will still be yearning for something more.   It’s because balance doesn’t come from a perfectly color coded schedule.  It comes from a feeling.  That’s why you can be busy and feel in harmony.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and as we’re talking about time and priorities lately, I want to highlight that it’s not about doing all the things.  It’s about doing the RIGHT things at the RIGHT time, As YOU define YOUR version of balance, AND you PURSUE IT.  

 

Like my friend Jenna always says, there are a million ways to do anything. What we’re doing in this series is deciding what’s right for us individually.   

 

Then you will FEEL this sense of balance that you’ve wanted all along. 

 

Time management isn’t going to get you what you need.  You could have everything perfectly planned out.  But if you FEEL out of balance, you will still feel overwhelmed and stressed and when we are in those feelings, it’s almost impossible to also feel happiness. 

 

I invite you to ask yourself, WHAT’S RIGHT, RIGHT NOW? You get to answer that, for yourself.  In this season, what is the priority? 

 

Life balance is doing the RIGHT things at the RIGHT time, so that you can feel balanced in a busy and often an out of balance world. 

 

I can give you all of the time management tricks in the book, but you still won’t feel balanced or happy.  You will still be yearning for something more.  I’ve heard you say that you are looking for that balance, harmony, fulfillment, happiness … they’re all the same desire.  And time management is a trick to think you’ll get there.  But you won’t.  I’ve been there.  It’s because balance doesn’t come from a perfectly color coded schedule.  (I know, I’ve got one)  It comes from a feeling.  That’s why you can be busy and feel in harmony.  It’s when we’re doing the right things at the right time. 

 

That’s what we’re after and why this micro-podcast will give you inspiration and tools to help you along the way.  Like setting Intentional Margins® - time for your priority today -  science to prove why certain things actually help increase our happiness.  

 

I hope this is helpful.  If you are enjoying this micro-podcast, I’d love for you to smash that subscribe button, leave a review and if you want to share anything with us, jump into our DMs over @everydayhappinesswithkatie   

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

405-Best of September 2021: Stress and Happiness: How Mindfulness is the Key

We’re replaying our most popular episodes from the past year.  In case you missed it or want a reminder, here is the most listened to episode in September 2021.  

 

We know stress has an incredibly toxic effect on our bodies, but what can we do about it?  That’s what we talk about today.  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and stress has an incredible toxic effect on our bodies.  We’re not running from lions anymore, we’ve evolved as humans, but we’re stressed about a lot of things.  And when we’re stressed, we can’t function as our best selves. 

 

Apparently mindfulness can actually reduce stress.  That looks like being totally present in the moment.  For you, right now, it looks like listening to every word you’re hearing from me.  You’re not scrolling your phone, checking email or multitasking in other ways.  You are right here right now.  

 

I think of this with my husband and our coffee chats.  It’s no phones, looking at him, engaged in our conversations. Sometimes they are super short, but they are intentional. It could also look like being alone, sipping warm coffee and feeling the coffee fall down your throat, the ceramic of the coffee mug, the way the coffee smells. 

 

Being in this moment exactly as it is.  Not wishing it was different or thinking about the past or the future.  Just being present, in all the senses of the moment.   

 

The experts say that when we are stressed and we can “be” in the moment, we will make better decisions for the next moment. 

 

So mindfulness is a practice, and you can get better over time.  A lot of people call it meditation.  But it can also be awareness throughout the moments of the day.  Instead of multitasking, practice being present in the moment.  Perhaps it starts with putting your phone in your pocket the next time you are in line at the grocery store or Starbucks.  You notice the things around you, the people, the smells, the way your groceries are organized (or not) in your cart.   

 

So apparently if you practice mindfulness, you can reduce your stress. 

 

Do you meditate?  How does this look for you? Let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram  

 

Inspiration for this episode and the research mentioned comes from the Happiness Lab podcast, episode 13.  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

404-Best of August 2021: Finding Joy

We’re replaying our most popular episodes from the past year.  In case you missed it or want a reminder, here is the most listened to episode in August 2021.  

 

Are you finding JOY? My friend Michelle has some great tips. 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and my friend Michelle hosts an interactive newsletter and membership called Pieces of Me.  Link in the transcript. The other day, her newsletter was about being intentional about finding and creating JOY.   Her journal prompts included three questions: 

 

- What does JOY mean to you? 

- What memories of JOY do you have? 

- What do you associate with JOY? 

 

Have you ever sat with your thoughts and asked yourself, what makes you happy? 

 

Over the next few weeks, Michelle’s community is intentionally focusing on Joy and some tips that Michelle has for us to cultivate and be intentional about this exercise are: 

 

- To create a JOY Inspiration Board ~ fill a piece of paper with images and words that bring you or remind you of JOY. 

- Go on a JOY Hunt ~ notice what it is that brings you JOY, in your daily surroundings. 

- Keep a JOY Journal ~ write 5 things each day which made you smile, brought happiness, or fed JOY. 

- Talk about JOY ~ all the time! 

- Write “joy” in capital letters, whenever you write ~ enJOY, enJOYment, JOYful etc. 

 

These are such a practical and tangible way to think about emotions and just to have a little bit of fun when it can feel like the world is heavy with all the things going on.  I hope this inspires you as much as it did me and that you go about your day and take notice of what brings you JOY and gives you a little boost of happiness.  

 

Join me over on social to continue this discussion.  I’m at @everydayhappinesswithkatie. 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://bossladybio.com/everydayhappiness/

 

Michelle’s Group, Pieces of Me: https://piecesofme.mn.co/