Everyday Happiness - Finding Harmony and Bliss

443-Using The Reticular Activation System to Improve Happiness

Let's talk science! In the body, we have the reticular activation system; it is like a gatekeeper of information for the conscious brain. We can use that system to our advantage! Learn how in this episode!  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and there is this saying, what you focus on grows.  We’ve all heard it.  And you can see in your own life how this happens, right?  When I became pregnant, even before I told people, I was seeing so many pregnant women.  When my husband and I bought a mini-cooper, we felt like all of a sudden we were seeing so many more mini-coopers driving down the highway. 

 

There is this part of your brain, and I promise not to get too scienc-y, because this is way above my pay grade, but it goes like this: 

 

There is this part of your brain, it starts above your spinal cord and it's about two inches long and about the width of a pencil, and what it does is really connect that subconscious part of our brain with the conscious part of our brain. 

 

It’s called the RAS - Reticular Activation System. 

 

It’s the gatekeeper of information that gets let into the conscious part of the mind. Our subconscious and our sensory organs are constantly throwing things at the RAS, if everything got to our conscious mind, I would imagine our brains would blow up.  We need this gatekeeper to only allow the most important things through the gate.  

 

We can use our conscious mind to tell the RAS what we want to see more of.  Back to the ‘ol saying, what we focus on grows. 

 

So, if you want to be a grateful, happy person, start a gratitude practice.

 

By doing this gratitude practice - you train your brain to be in this automatic happiness state. By training your brain, telling your RAS what you want to see more of, you create new neuro-pathways in your brain and this becomes the normal way of thinking.

 

It sounds crazy and unbelievable, but there are virtually every scientist that studies this brain stuff will tell you it works.  Let’s notice happy moments and give gratitude or appreciation for them.   

 

If you want Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox every morning, you can subscribe at www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

442-How Smiling Forces You to be Happy

Did you know that the very act of smiling will make you happier? The brain is a funny thing; learn more about how it works in this episode of Everyday Happiness!   

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I invite you to smile more.  Not because you have to.  And certainly not because someone told you to.  But because you want to.  It’s good for your own personal happiness.  

 

I learned this hack.  If you take a pencil, put it in your mouth so your back molars are gently touching the pencil and you smile a big smile - that action, you know, the one that gives you crows feet around your eyes.  That action triggers your brain to think you are happy, even if you are feeling blah.   

 

Friends, that’s incredible.  

 

Also, I heard that you cannot hold two opposite emotions at the exact same time.  So, if you turn up your lips and give a little smile, your anger, your annoyance, your frustration starts to dissipate.  Now, we can have a lot of emotions in the day, in the hour, believe me I’m feeling all kinds of emotions as I record this episode and the world feels turned upside down.   But I am trusting the science that we can hack our emotions, because feeling anxious and out of control sucks.    

 

So let’s smile those big smiles.  Try it.  Let me know if it worked for you?  Send me your smile selfie at the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #EverydayHappinessWithKatie tag me in your stories @everydayhappinesswithkatie and we’ll share happiness together. 

 

And remember, kindness is contagious, so go out there and spread kindness into the world. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

 

441-How Gratitude Helps You Remember Good Things

The practice of gratitude actually helps you remember all the good things in life. Learn the science in this episode! 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and the number one predictor of happiness is gratitude.  Here is one simple way to get that gratitude practice into your routine every single day. 

 

• On Sunday, list 5 things you are most grateful for. 
• Each night of the week review the list 
• Add to the list on the following Sunday 

 

Authur Brooks, a Harvard professor on this subject says you will get 10-25% happier over 10 weeks, according to the science he’s researched, because you will REMEMBER the things that are really important to you.  And heck, it can be that the trees are green.  Just do something. 

 

Do you keep track of your gratitude?  I’m curious if my listeners out there have a gratitude practice and what it is.  Send me a DM @everydayhappinesswithkatie.   If you have a gratitude journal, snap a pic and share with the hashtags  #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram so we can have some inspiration. 

 

And if you are feeling like boosting some gratitude, we’d be honored if you could leave a review for our little mico-podcast so that we can share happiness with others.  

 

And remember, kindness is contagious, so go out there and spread some kindness in the world. 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

440-Conscious Luck Pt.2

Can you improve your luck? Is it actually a state of mind or is it out of your control? Learn more in this episode of Everyday Happiness!

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and we’re talking about feeling lucky.

 

Yesterday we dove into conscious luck and today, we look at the flip side - sometimes, we don’t feel all that lucky and you know what, we usually see concrete proof of our unluckiness.   

 

We can have these personal barriers to “luck” where we can sabotage ourselves, we can’t believe that people are just ‘lucky’.  A lot of people call them ‘limiting beliefs’ 

 

Luck isn’t, “I’m lucky, ok, thank you, I have everything I want because I had it in my mind”.  That’s crazy.  That’s not how this works.  

 

So the flip side - the bad luck.  How many times have you talked to someone and they’ve just had bad luck.  They just look at the circumstances differently, they are down on their luck.  And what the positive psychology researchers will tell you is that when you sing that story, I’m down on my luck.  You feel unlucky.  

 

I was listening to a story, this woman was talking about her sister.  She was always saying, “I have bad luck” and that was her story and real life bad luck things were happening to her. She fell in an icy parking lot and hurt herself, she then had to walk with a cane, and she was like “see” I’m unlucky.  And this woman was saying, her sister tells people and believes she's unlucky and then is a magnet for unluckiness. 

 

Can you tell a different story to yourself and continue to make it true? 

 

Some people have things like lucky charms, lucky socks, lucky rituals and they work, not because those things are lucky, but because we believe they are lucky.  It’s all in our minds. 

 

Uplevel your luckiess.  Intentional luck. 

 

Luck is a happy word.  It makes you feel good to think about it.  And now, I’m going to start to remind myself of the luck I do experience, it’s out there, I’m sure of it.  

 

Inspired by this podcast:  Episode 127 Conscious Luck, Shari + Nancy Show.  

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

439-Conscious Luck Pt.1

Is there something in your life that usually works out in your favor? Even something super small and unimportant? Today, we are talking about conscious luck! Tune in to find out more! 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been thinking about this phrase ‘conscious luck’.  What is conscious luck?  What if we told ourselves the story that we are lucky, even if we don’t 100% believe it yet.  There are some theories in positive psychology that positive psychology is a force for happiness and joy.  And if you feel lucky, if you believe you are lucky, you will be lucky, you will see more luck? 

 

Hmmm…. 

 

I heard in a podcast episode that I will link, that if we can be specific about our luckiness, like I am really lucky when it comes to love or business opportunities, and then watch how the energy in those components of your life starts to rub off.   I do this with silly things, like I am so lucky I always find a good parking spot.  It drives my husband crazy that I always seem to get the perfect spot, but I really believe that I am lucky in parking.  

 

Think of luck, not in the superficial way, but in the way that “luck” is word that we use in the stories that we tell ourselves.  So if we’re going to make up a story, why not make it up good, right? 

 

So, I guess this is how we think about luck.  It's mindset.  The mind is such a powerful thing and there are positive psychologists that say you can train your brain to believe you are a lucky person, and when you do, you will see more luck.  

 

Tomorrow, we’re continuing this chat about luck and the flip-side to luckiness. 

 

 

Inspired by this podcast:  Episode 127 Conscious Luck, Shari + Nancy Show.  

 

 

 

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

438-Building Boundaries with Intentional Margins®

Do you ever feel like your to-do is so long and overwhelming that it will never be brought under control? Today, we are talking about setting boundaries. Tune in to learn more! 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and when I think about Intentional Margins® and when I was creating this concept this was the vision in my head.  

 

Imagine, you are opening a book.  The paragraphs are perfectly justified, as you turn the pages you know exactly what to expect, page after page.  The margins are firm.  It feels easy.  Imagine the words are your todo list.  

 

You’ll notice, the todo list, all those words, they never creep into the margins of the page.  

 

Can you imagine what it would feel like if you were reading and one line shot out into the margins and 4 lines down the sentence was cut to half the page.  And again, the next paragraph has 3 lines that randomly bleed into the margin.  

 

The next page is the same random lines shooting out into the margins.  Chapter after chapter. 

 

It feels randon, sporadic, gives you a little uneasiness, some anxiety and it makes reading that book so much harder.   

 

That’s what I was feeling when my todo list felt out of control.  Like I was on the hamster wheel of todos, and couldn’t imagine jumping off. 

 

When we create boundaries, those margins in a book, we can create harmony.  

 

And the Intentional Margins® are the best parts of your day.  They are the margins in this example.  They are where you spend your time - your most valuable resource - living in your priorities. 

 

Intentional Margins® is a buffer of space and time to find harmony between your todos and your priorities.  

 

When you think of this book, your margins are your best parts of life.  We don’t want to miss it. We don’t want those todos to constantly overreach into the margins.  Here and there, that’s harmony, but when it’s consistent, we feel overwhelmed and out of control.  That’s not a good feeling.  

 

So for me, Intentional Margins® was my filter to prioritize what I say yes to and what I say no to, so that I can achieve those boundaries, and be intentional about my margin.  

 

If you could do anything you wanted, what would you do in your Intentional Margins®? I’m at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  tag me on an IG story so we can celebrate you, use the hashtag #IntentionalMargins or send me a DM, and I promise to write back. 

 

And remember, kindness is contagious.  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

437-What’s Your Intention for Today?

If you had to pick one word or phrase to focus on today, what would it be? Tune in today to hear some tips on choosing a daily intention! 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been hearing a lot about setting an intention for the day, one word or phrase for the day.  So, it got me thinking, do you pick a work or phrase for the day? 

 

I was thinking this could be a theme for the day, things like:  

• Show kindness 
• Manage expectations 
• Be purposeful 
• Lead with compassion 
• Shed anxiety 
• Be the light 
• Productive 
• Caring 
• Nurture relationships 
• Be present 

 

I could go on and on.  But the point is, this anecdotally, is really powerful and I wanted to share this tip with you.   

 

I live by the concept of creating Intentional Margins®, the space and time to live in my priorities.  And perhaps, sometimes, the priority can align with the theme of the day, like being intentional.  That could relate to reading books with the kids and keeping my phone in the kitchen so I am really in that intentional space with them - because let’s be real, my mind wanders.  

 

So, I hope this fun tip inspires you.  One thing I would love more than anything, is for you to reach out and tell me what your word of the day or intention for the day is.  It inspires me and I’ll share.  I’m at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  tag me on an IG story with your intention so we can celebrate you.  

 

And remember, kindness is contagious.  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

436-Utilizing Gratitude to Fight Negativity

With endless sad and scary stories hitting the headlines every day, it can be easy to get swept up in hopelessness and fear. However, you can use gratitude to fight negativity. Learn more in the episode! 

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and what we know is that humans are inherently negative.  Let me explain. 

 

We humans have a negativity bias, which means that we’re wired to notice threats in the environment. This is the evolution of humans watching guard at night to not be attacked by a lion.  This is why we get scared in a dark alley when someone is chasing us.  Let’s hope that never happens.  But, this is a good thing – it’s kept our species alive.  

 

But as we evolve, we don’t just want to be alive.  We also want to be happy.  Now we are not faced with a lion in the night, but instead, a global pandemic or anything else you see on the news.  

 

When there is too much of a focus on the negative, gratitude can be a way to nurture a more positive focus, literally using it as a sword to cut the negativity and teach the brain to spend more time on the feel-goods and less time hanging on to the things that suck.  

 

Gratitude builds on itself. We know the brain changes with experience, so the more that gratitude is practiced, the more the brain learns to tune into the positive things in the world. This isn’t something that tends to come naturally.  But the saying, what you focus on grows.  This is how we start to shift the mind from focusing on the negativity and instead seeing the good, because we are intentionally focusing on the gratitude.  Our brain can’t help itself, it wants to give you more of what you focus on.  And that, my friends, is magic.   

 

So, I invite you to focus on the good today and just see what happens.  If you are called to share, I’d love to hear what you are focusing on over at @everydayhappinesswithkatie on social media. 

 

And remember, kindness is contagious.  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

435-Building Gratitude through Experiences

Studies have shown that material possessions only make us happier for a short amount of time, but that experiences have a long-lasting effect. In my episode, I discuss the benefits of being grateful for experiences and how to be a role model for this methodology.

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and what I’ve learned is that gratitude is more powerful with the things you do than the things you own (even if what you own is amazing).

 

Research has found that we tend to feel more grateful for experiences than for things we have. There doesn’t seem to be any clear reason for this, but one of the theories is that experiences are less likely to trigger social comparisons. While ‘things’ can seduce us into comparing what we have to what other people have, experiences are more likely to shift our focus to our own personal circumstances, and expand feelings of appreciation, happiness and contentment.

 

This got me thinking about all things summer vacation to holiday gift giving.  How am I parenting and what are we focusing on here.  I feel, like a lot of parents, that my kids have everything they need to be “happy”.  They, of course, always want something more.  I don’t blame them, it’s part of growing up in America, I think.    

 

But what I can do is model this ‘gratitude for the experience’ behavior.  It can show the children (and anyone around us) where to focus our energy.  So, that’s where I’m going to focus, on the experience because the research seems to indicate that showing gratitude for the less tangible things in our lives stops us from acting and being seen as ‘entitled’, or ‘spoiled’, neither of which generally adds to your character. 

 

Today, I am grateful for you, listening to this episode.  If you feel called to be a part of this happiness movement, share this episode with 5 friends, I would be honored and you will get a little kindness boost.  Know that wherever you are, I’m thanking you for helping spread the word. Tag me on social @everydayhappinesswithkatie.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

And remember, kindness is contagious.  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

434-Is Happiness the Elixir of Life?

Does happiness help one live longer? Studies have shown the answer! Tune in to this episode to find out!  

 

Transcript:

 

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and in my research on the correlation between gratitude and happiness I came across an article in Positive Psychology that summarizes research on happy people living longer and one particular study about nuns has me intrigued… so I’m going to give you the high level cliff notes here and link in the show notes.

 

The question is:  Does the happier you are, correlate to the longer you live? Yoichi Chida and Andrew Steptoe (2008) attempted to answer this question.

 

What we know is that happiness does positively affect longevity, for everyone whether they are healthy or sick. (Carr, 2011).

 

Healthy population studies have found that when participants exhibited a positive affect, like joy, happiness, energy and vigor, life satisfaction, optimism, and a sense of humor – there was a lower mortality rate (Carr, 2011).

 

Other researchers have done similar work and the Danner study is what has me fascinated. They completed a large follow-back study with 180 nuns in the US. All of the nuns had a similar lifestyle, diet, and schedule.

 

The nun participants wrote essays as they entered into their religious order. They wrote about themselves and their life from childhood to present day, and their hopes and dreams for their lives.

 

The nuns were completely unaware that their essays would be analyzed for a happiness and longevity study. The researchers found that, about 50 years later, 90% of the happiest nuns lived past 85 (years old), and only 34% who scored as the least happy lived past 85.

 

We can see that happiness can increase our longevity. However, what are the factors that determine happiness?

 

We’ve talked about how genetics play a part in our happiness. And circumstances come next. But we have this remaining percentage in our happiness bucket that we get to influence. And that’s where the magic is.

 

This knowledge is an incredible gift because it indicates that we get to be an active participant in determining our future and it’s not purely left to chance.

 

While there are different ways to boost happiness, one way for sure, is to be intentional and invite more happiness into your world through gratitude. 

 

Today, I am grateful for you, listening to this episode.  If you feel called to be a part of this happiness movement, share this episode with 5 friends, I would be honored and you will get a little kindness boost.  Know that wherever you are, I’m thanking you for helping spread the word. Tag me on social @everydayhappinesswithkatie 

 

And remember, kindness is contagious.  

 

Inspiration for this episode and the research mentioned comes from an article from Positive Psychology.  

 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

 

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

 

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/