27.3K
Downloads
674
Episodes
Do you feel overwhelmed with your todo list? Is "creating fulfilling happiness" missing from that list? Everyday Happiness with Katie Jefcoat is here to help you. In 2-minutes a day, over time, you’ll discover how to reduce overwhelm and create lasting happiness through Katie’s signature method of Intentional Margins, happiness science, and musings about life. Start your day with a positive mindset. Many of us can get deep in the feeling of overwhelm. The anxiety of our own ambition can weigh heavily on our thoughts and emotions. We lay down and close our eyes at night and our chest begins to feel heavy. More items on the to-do list than the day before. How will we ever going to get off the hamster wheel of to-dos? When are we going to start living life for more than the hustle? As a recovering lawyer and passion driven entrepreneur, Katie knew something had to change. What she found is that you can have harmony, be intentionally productive and create massive impact, all at the same time - without feeling guilty. So she asked herself a simple question: "How can I get off the hamster wheel and how can I show others how to do the same? She knew she'd had a system for herself, but she’d never put it into defining words. On August 15, 2019, she sat down at her dining room table with her friend Jenna (her business bestie). Post-It notes covering the table. This is where she first defined the concept of Intentional Margins. What are Intentional Margins? INTENTIONAL MARGINS™ (n): A buffer of space and time to create harmony between your to-do’s and your priorities. Now you can get the support you need to manage your overwhelm, one little tip at a time. Regardless of the industry, Everyday Happiness blends inspiration with a pragmatic approach to finding Harmony. You'll be encouraged to throw “balance” out the window for a more achievable approach called harmony. Through Intentional Margins™, you'll be encouraged to develop what harmony means to you, by identifying your priorities at work and at home. Every day, we'll end the podcast help you feel equipped to jump off the hamster wheel of overwhelm and go out there and crush your day. --About the Host-- Katie Jefcoat is a community curator, speaker, author and motivator who supports ambitious women (and a few good men) move from feeling hectic to harmonious. As a recovering trial lawyer, she knows first hand what it feels like to have a demanding job. As an entrepreneur with a passion that lights her hair on fire and a busy family she’s in the thick of it with you. Many people strive for balance and think overwhelm is just a part of life. Sadly, the hustle culture and our never-ending to-do list is creating a life where our priorities are getting the leftover scraps of time. Katie introduces people to what she calls - Intentional Margins™ - a kind of life in which they reduce randomness, create harmony between their to-dos and their priorities and intentionally enjoy the meaningful parts of life - without feeling guilty. Without exposure to a different way, we remain stuck on the hamster wheel of to-dos and never find the “balance” we yearn for. Katie works diligently to expose her community to different ways of doing things, because she fundamentally believes we deserve to make time for our priorities. We deserve to live a life of harmony. And it’s within our control to create it. Katie curates a smorgasbord of content related to managing your calendar, handling overwhelm, setting boundaries, reducing randomness, saying no, self-care, the power of your choices, and more in her Intentional Margins™ Membership Community -- which she calls the coziest virtual coffee shop (on Facebook). Connect and learn more at www.katiejefcoat.com.
Episodes
Tuesday Mar 21, 2023
658-Coffee Makes You Happier
Tuesday Mar 21, 2023
Tuesday Mar 21, 2023
Coffee is happiness. Enough said. Just kidding! Tune into this episode of Everyday Happiness to see why that black liquid gold makes us so happy!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and I love coffee. As you have likely heard me say countless times throughout my podcast episodes, one of my favorite moments in life is sitting in my comfy chair and sipping my morning cup of coffee. Well, this morning, I happened upon a funny and validating article by Arthur Brooks, renowned happiness scientist and writer for the Atlantic. The whole piece was on how coffee makes you happier. If you have been trying to justify having another cup of coffee, this episode is for you.
First, let’s talk about why coffee makes you happy. As you know, caffeine is a component of coffee. When caffeine is ingested, it goes up to the brain to boost a natural chemical called adenosine out of its spot. Adenosine is the chemical that makes you feel tired throughout the day, winding you down over the daylight hours to encourage your body to go to sleep at bedtime. Caffeine essentially takes over the spot in the brain where adenosine sits, so coffee doesn’t actually make you hyper; it just takes away the lethargy.
Second, why does this make us happy? Caffeine, in proper moderation, makes you feel less tired, which in turn can release tension and make us feel calmer with a clearer mind. Combined with exercise, caffeine can improve cognitive performance, increase reaction time, and enhance logical reasoning skills. Such features have aided humanity throughout time by increasing productivity, safety, and even innovation. Brooks cited in his article that studies show that long-term caffeine use can have health benefits.
So, should we drink coffee all day, every day? Despite Brooks’ obsessive love of caffeine, that isn’t advised. Like anything, too much coffee isn’t good for you. The more your drink, the higher your tolerance to caffeine will get, leading you to drink even more for the same effects. It’s all about moderation! So, have your morning cup of coffee or two, but try to prevent drinking coffee all day. If you see signs of minimized effects, consider a caffeine detox to restart your system; just make sure everyone knows you will be cranky for a week or two!
Also, I highly suggest reading the original article by Arthur Brooks, as it is hysterical! I’ve left you the link in the show notes. Until next time, grab that cup of coffee and do something kind for someone else. Better yet, make your kind act buying a coffee for a stranger.
Life is heavy enough, we shouldn’t have to search for happiness. Get the exclusive happiness email, delivered with a smile twice a month to your inbox. https://www.katiejefcoat.com/email
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Inspired by this article
- https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2023/02/coffee-caffeine-happiness-health-benefits/673158/
Monday Mar 20, 2023
657-We Are Not Bound to a Sisyphean Life
Monday Mar 20, 2023
Monday Mar 20, 2023
Does life ever feel boring, repetitive, and tedious? We are not bound to a Sisyphean life; tune in to find out why!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness, where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and do you ever get the feeling that everything is futile? You do the dishes to have another sink full of dishes the next day. You wash the laundry to have another three loads to do by the end of the week. You go to work every single day, just to have to do it again and again for decades on end. When life is phrased in a Sisyphean nature, it can seem beyond tedious, but my favorite happiness scientist, Arthur Brooks, disagrees.
As a quick note, the word “Sisyphean” refers to Sisyphus, the king from Greek mythology who angered the gods by cheating death and got sentenced an eternal life in the underworld to push a boulder up a hill, to have it roll back down and need to start over again. Therefore, any task combining struggle, stress, boredom, and futility can be categorized as “Sisyphean.”
As I mentioned, many tasks in life may feel Sisyphean in nature, which can be frustrating. However, in an article published in the Atlantic, Brooks takes inspiration from Albert Camus, a philosopher and creator of absurdism. Camus challenges people to redefine Sisyphus as being happy, which completely warps the idea that daily struggles are tedious.
Camus cites that people experience true joy and happiness even though they lead Sisyphean lives filled with monotony and struggle. Brooks quotes, “Even Sisyphus was happy, according to Camus, because ‘the struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart.’ Simply put, he had something to keep him busy.”
So, what does this mean? Rather than falling into the trap of a futility mindset, embracing each moment for what it is will serve you better. We should laugh as we complete little daily tasks and be happy in spite of them. By embracing a mindset shift, we can redefine the moments that bug us the most into something positive and fulfilling.
Rather than washing the dishes because they are dirty, you are washing dishes to achieve a beautiful home. Rather than doing laundry again, you are providing your children with their favorite clothes. Rather than going to work every day, you are providing yourself with the core necessities of life AND creating opportunities to do something you love. Be fully present in what you are doing and just relax into it.
Plus, Brooks suggests looking for little opportunities to do good. While we can’t influence wars and natural disasters, we can do acts of kindness for others that will bring both them and ourselves happiness. Remember, kindness is contagious.
Life is heavy enough, we shouldn’t have to search for happiness. Get the exclusive happiness email, delivered with a smile twice a month to your inbox. https://www.katiejefcoat.com/email
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Inspired by this article
Sunday Mar 19, 2023
656-Writing a Reverse Bucket List to Improve Happiness
Sunday Mar 19, 2023
Sunday Mar 19, 2023
Learn how to write a reverse bucket list with us in this episode of Everyday Happiness!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness, where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and over the past two episodes, we have discussed Arthur Brooks’ theory of the reverse bucket list. Today, I am going to teach you how to write one!
Writing a reverse bucket list is incredibly soothing, and there is a wide range of ideas that you can include. For example, you can keep it simple and write down concepts such as:
- I have this chair in my living room. It brings me so much joy to sip warm coffee in this chair.
- I have a body that serves me. Hands that work, legs that allow me to walk.
- I have a mind that sees lightness through the dark that innately searches for positivity when life feels hard.
- I have a family that I am obsessed with. Kids who are healthy. A marriage where we prioritize one another and a husband who is kind, patient, generous, and who loves me. I get to give and receive love with the people that I love.
Alternatively, you can think bigger about the significant life milestones you have achieved, such as:
- I graduated from university with a degree I am passionate about
- I bought my first home/apartment/car/boat/camper
- I traveled to 10 countries
- I married the person that I love
- I got a job that I enjoy going to each day
- I started a business/side hustle
- I completed a major task
- Writing a book, starting a blog, learning to play an instrument, joining a community sports team, etc.
- I paid off my credit card debt/car loan/school loan/home loan
I am fortunate that my reverse bucket list is beautiful and long. It shows me that my wants are nice but not what will truly make me happier. I have everything I need to be as happy as I can be right now.
I want to note that it is important to remember that the above ideas are just basic ideas built off general life concepts, but it is vital to address happiness outside of societal norms. Just because I didn’t list an accomplishment here doesn’t mean that it isn’t an accomplishment. Anything that makes you happy and feels like a positive attribute of your life belongs on this reverse bucket list!
I’m curious if you have any ah-ha moments when you start writing out your haves list. If so, please share them in the comments or on socials and tag me at @everydayhappinesswithkatie!
Life is heavy enough, we shouldn’t have to search for happiness. Get the exclusive happiness email, the happiest email in your inbox, delivered with a smile twice a month. https://www.katiejefcoat.com/email
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Saturday Mar 18, 2023
655-How Satisfaction Plays into Happiness
Saturday Mar 18, 2023
Saturday Mar 18, 2023
Did you know that satisfaction is one of the key components to happiness, but writing a traditional bucket list won’t help? However, a reverse bucket list will! Tune in to find out more!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and yesterday we discussed Arthur Brooks’ concept of the reverse bucket list. What Arthur Brooks is trying to achieve with a reverse bucket list is for you to feel more satisfied with the dreams you've accomplished and the things you already have. He says it can solve that satisfaction problem!
What is the satisfaction problem? Satisfaction is not a function of what you HAVE - it’s actually an equation of what you HAVE and what you WANT. Think of it like a fraction: the top is what you have, and the bottom is what you want. When you don’t manage the denominator, the bottom, the wants will expand and sprawl. This is your traditional bucket list.
Instead, we have the reverse bucket list. You write a list of your haves and try to detach yourself from the wants by focusing on those haves. Then, your denominator will fall, and satisfaction will rise. That is the reverse bucket list exercise.
Now, how does satisfaction and that reverse bucket list play into hedonic adaptation?
Perhaps, you remember from previous blog posts or podcasts on hedonic adaptation prevention? As a reminder, hedonic adaptation is the natural process where heightened happiness due to some new circumstance inevitably loses its shine, and your happiness levels return to where they were before the change occurred.
When we achieve something new on a traditional bucket list, the joy behind it fades quickly away, and it just becomes another check mark. However, the Hedonic Adaptation Prevention theory assumes that hedonic adaptation is not inevitable as long as you continue to interact with the new circumstance in a positive way that continues to boost your happiness. That is where a reverse bucket list comes in! When writing a reverse bucket list, you get to revisit that happiness and satisfaction all over again.
Tomorrow, we are going to dive into the details of writing a reverse bucket list, so make sure to tune in!
Life is heavy enough, we shouldn’t have to search for happiness. Get the exclusive happiness email, the happiest email in your inbox, delivered with a smile twice a month. https://www.katiejefcoat.com/email
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Friday Mar 17, 2023
654-Building a Reverse Bucket List
Friday Mar 17, 2023
Friday Mar 17, 2023
Do you have a traditional bucket list? How about a reverse bucket list? Studies show a reverse bucket list may be better for your health. Check out it in this new podcast episode!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and I want to travel back to Australia. I want to buy a shiny white sports car. I want to travel first class. I want to make millions. See what I did there? I just made a traditional bucket list.
Do you have a bucket list of everything you want to do in life? You may even have multiple lists categorized by meaning, such as career, familial, or travel. Bucket lists are a creative way for us to dream big, think about future goals, and get our butts in gear to pursue those ideas.
However, they aren’t all sunshine and roses. All those “wants” screaming in our brains can have a negative effect on our long-term happiness and satisfaction. Therefore, having a Reverse Bucket List may be a healthier alternative.
Okay, Katie…what the heck is a reverse bucket list? The Reverse Bucket List concept was created by Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor, PhD social scientist, #1 bestselling author, and columnist at The Atlantic, which is where I first learned of this concept. If you are an avid listener, you have likely heard me talk about his ideas before!
The reverse bucket list meaning is to improve satisfaction, which in turn, enhances happiness. How does it do that? Brooks says, “The fewer wants there are screaming inside your brain and dividing your attention, the more peace and satisfaction will be left for what you already have.”
The reverse bucket list is essentially writing a list of your haves. In the process, you are trying to detach yourself from the wants (a traditional bucket list) by focusing on those haves. In doing so, you aren’t pining for what you don’t yet have but are taking satisfaction from what you have already accomplished.
I’m not done yet! We will continue talking about the reverse bucket list over the next two episodes, so don’t miss out!
Life is heavy enough, we shouldn’t have to search for happiness. Get the exclusive happiness email, the happiest email in your inbox, delivered with a smile twice a month. https://www.katiejefcoat.com/email
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Thursday Mar 16, 2023
653-Emotional Validation Over Toxic Positivity
Thursday Mar 16, 2023
Thursday Mar 16, 2023
An unfortunate reality of happiness practices is that sometimes people can go too far and fall into the toxic positivity trap. Today, we discuss how to prioritize emotional validation over toxic positivity and why it is important.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and today I was reading a fascinating article from Very Well Mind, and it led me to want to talk to you about utilizing emotional validation over toxic positivity. First, let’s break it down.
Toxic positivity is forced positive thinking when the situation isn’t appropriate. Unlike general positivity, which encourages us to notice the good things in life, toxic positivity comes at the risk of denying our actual emotions or the emotions of others. An example would be when a friend is telling you that they lost their job, and you respond with “look at the bright side” or “everything happens for a reason.” What happens here is that the person sharing is invalidated in their feelings of sadness, anger, or guilt.
The article explains that emotional validation is when people allow themselves and others to experience their feelings in their entirety and acknowledge that having negative emotions is both real and important. By taking the time to learn, understand, and accept our own emotions and experiences, and those of others, we can genuinely process what is going on. Toxic positivity pushes those feelings aside, never allowing them to be processed, and often making someone feel even worse for having them in the first place.
So, how can we practice emotional validation over toxic positivity?
First, when someone is telling you about a hardship, take a moment to reflect on what they have said and acknowledge their pain. People want to be listened to; they don’t always need an “it’s gonna be okay” immediate response. Start by responding with something like “I understand that you feel sad/upset/angry” to acknowledge their emotions.
Second, be supportive and encourage them to elaborate. We never know what’s going on in someone else’s mind, so encouraging them to be honest and reflect on the situation and their feelings is critical.
Lastly, validate what they are feeling. Validating someone’s emotions, even negative ones, can go a long way in their recovery process. By saying things like “I see why you feel that way” and “that sounds super tough,” you can support them in their emotional processing. Now, this doesn’t mean to egg them on; it is simply to acknowledge that what they feel is valid.
Until next time, remember that kindness is contagious. Spread a little joy in the world by doing something nice for someone.
Life is heavy enough, we shouldn’t have to search for happiness. Get the exclusive happiness email, the happiest email in your inbox, delivered with a smile twice a month. https://www.katiejefcoat.com/email
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Wednesday Mar 15, 2023
652-Happiness Tips: Take a Picture
Wednesday Mar 15, 2023
Wednesday Mar 15, 2023
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it can also boost your happiness! Tune in to find out why pictures make us happy and how you can add more to your life!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness, where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and today I found myself staring at a family picture on my desk. This picture captured that moment of happiness, and now I get a little boost of joy every single time that I look at it. That got me thinking, do pictures make us happier? The answer is yes!
After the evolution of photography went from getting film printed to having everything right at your fingertips on your phone, I will admit there was a lull in my picture printing frequency. I had all these “older” photos from years in the past on my walls, but nothing recent. Why? Because it was all on my phone. However, I noticed that those lovely pictures of the happiest moments in life often got swept away in the massive online photo album with random images of food, cat memes, and screenshots of purchases delivered long ago. So, there I was thinking, “Katie, you should really get some recent pictures printed.”
According to a post from Psychology Today, pictures do make us happier for these reasons.
First, pictures remind us of the people, places, and activities we love. When you look at all your favorite things in life, it brings a smile to your face.
Second, pictures help us to remember the past. Maybe the image is of a departed loved one or a special moment. Photos are a wonderful way to prompt our memories to remember those happy moments.
Third, pictures can save space. There are times in our lives when it can be hard to let go of an item, like an old car or bookshelf, because of the memories associated with it. You know you don’t need it, so taking a picture of it can still preserve that memory while clearing the space for new ones.
Fourth, pictures can condense childhood. The writer gave an excellent example that I may try myself. She used a company called Plum Print (no affiliate here, folks) that took photos of all of her child’s childhood artwork and school projects and condensed them into one slim photobook. Now, the writer and her child can lovingly look through all those memories without getting attacked by glitter and stray macaroni.
Finally, pictures can curate the things you love, foster creativity, and even act as a diary. Many use photography to express themselves and gather the things they love. Whether you love making Pinterest boards, enjoy posting Instagram pictures, or use photographs as a diary, those pictures make you happy.
Now, I am going to search through my endless photos for the brightest memories and send them off to get printed! What’s your favorite photo in your home? Let us know in the comments, or tag us over at Everyday Happiness with Katie. Want more happiness tips? Sign up for our newsletter! You can do that over at www.katiejefcoat.com/email
Life is heavy enough, we shouldn’t have to search for happiness. Get the exclusive happiness email, the happiest email in your inbox, delivered with a smile twice a month. https://www.katiejefcoat.com/email
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Tuesday Mar 14, 2023
651-When You Know It’s Time For A Pivot
Tuesday Mar 14, 2023
Tuesday Mar 14, 2023
It’s time. I’ve been thinking about this pivot for months. Contemplating every twist and turn. With clarity, I know that right now, this is the right next step.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and at the beginning of January I wrote a post in our membership community about feeling overwhelmed. But overwhelm wasn’t the word. Busy wasn’t the word either. You see, every new year I “come in hot” with piles of ambition, goals, ideas, clarity, priorities and to-do lists.
This year. I’m not. I just can’t get there. That’s what I wrote in January.
I continued by sharing that I have a really strong urge to slow down and hunker down in 2023. Something is pulling at me. My intuition is screaming at me to be still and to stop chasing the next thing.
I don’t know what this will mean - but I’m listening.
This is where I shared my word of the year, we do this as a group and it’s really fun. My word this year is: CARE
My theme this year, the feeling I want to lean into this year is: more FREE TIME
I am obsessed with my consulting work like never before. I see so much value in Everyday Happiness and our COMMUNITY has been the backbone for support and the catalyst for change for me and so many others. We have coffee chat on Zoom once a week and it’s so great to connect with other women.
I’ve always thought it’s amazing what one person can do when they have a group of women cheering them on.
So as 2023 goes … I’m holding strong to what we’ve built, nurturing the pillars that got us to where we are.
With so much reflection and thought, this looks like a pivot for you listening right now. At the end of this month, the Everyday Happiness podcast will transition to a bi-monthly email. The email has already started. I think it’s the happiest email in your inbox and it will be filled with kindness, happiness, insights and a note from me. I hope you join me.
Life is heavy enough, we shouldn’t have to search for happiness. You can get the exclusive happiness email, delivered with a smile twice a month to your inbox when you visit https://www.katiejefcoat.com
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Monday Mar 13, 2023
650-Happiness Science Pt.3
Monday Mar 13, 2023
Monday Mar 13, 2023
Did you know there are two types of happiness? Natural and synthetic happiness! Today, we wrap up this mini-series by diving into how we can manufacture our happiness ourselves.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and for the past two episodes, we have been talking about natural versus synthetic happiness. Today, we are diving into creating it ourselves. While natural happiness is excellent, it doesn’t always happen. That’s okay. We can manufacture the very thing we are chasing. So, how do we do that? The main factor is allowing yourself to recreate a negative situation (or what you think is a negative situation) into something beneficial.
- So you didn’t win the race, but getting second pushes you harder to work for 1st.
- So you couldn’t afford the fancy restaurant, but you had a blast with your spouse by doing a picnic.
- So you didn’t get a promotion, now you have more time to spend with your kids.
Allow yourself to spin the situation, to hedonically adapt to the case, and remember that unhappiness is always temporary. But what about buying it? Can you purchase synthetic happiness?
We all remember the studies about whether or not money buys happiness. In summary, if your basic needs are met, excess money doesn’t create greater satisfaction. So, what should you do?
First, spend money on experiences over material things. Rather than buying another pair of shoes, an item for your collections, or a random décor item, spend that money on an adventure. It could be as big as going on vacation, but it doesn’t have to be. It could be taking the kids for ice cream, going bowling, taking your spouse on a fun date, taking an overnight mini trip with your bestie, or literally anything else that gets you out and building memories.
Second, spend money on the future. Studies have shown that investing in long-term happiness is one of the best actions you can take now, lasting into your 70s, 80s, and longer. Seven categories make up long-term happiness: not smoking, moderating alcohol consumption, maintaining a healthy body weight, consistently exercising, improving emotional resilience, continuing education (i.e., lifelong learning), and building relationships. Investing now could look like this:
- Attending exercise classes
- Hiring a personal trainer
- Taking healthy cooking courses
- Taking a class on an engaging subject you enjoy
- Seeing a therapist
- Making occasions to see loved ones
Again, you are looking at experiences!
Lastly, if you do want to spend money on stuff, spend it on others over yourself. Spending money on loved ones or for charities you feel strongly about helps build long-term relationships with your inner circle and your community.
I want to leave you with one message at the end of all this. You are in charge of your happiness, and you have the power to adjust it all on your own.
Life is heavy enough, we shouldn’t have to search for happiness. Get the exclusive happiness email, the happiest email in your inbox, delivered with a smile twice a month. https://www.katiejefcoat.com/email
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
Sunday Mar 12, 2023
649-Happiness Science Pt.2
Sunday Mar 12, 2023
Sunday Mar 12, 2023
Did you know there are two types of happiness? Natural and synthetic happiness! In the second part of this mini-series, we discuss how to utilize synthetic happiness.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and I wanted to share something Sir Thomas Brown wrote in 1642. He said, “I am the happiest man alive. I have that in me that can convert poverty to riches, adversity to prosperity, and I am more invulnerable than Achilles; fortune hath not one place to hit me.”
Powerful, isn’t it? Our episode yesterday discussed the difference between natural and synthetic happiness. Today, we are diving into how we average Joes often utilize it without even realizing it. One example is how we do this all of the time with the stock market. We see our stocks rise 7%, and we’re happy. That would be natural happiness. Then, at some point, if you’ve been in this game long enough, you see your portfolio drop, maybe even 10%. You will likely think, “that sucks, but at least it wasn’t 20%.”
We, humans, try to find the silver lining. Some of us are better than others. Some of us get there quicker than others. No matter what, though, we all have the capacity to see the silver lining due to those big ole’ brains in our heads. They allow us to see the glass as ½ full, and frequently, we don't even realize we are doing it.
I’ll give you a personal example as well. As an adolescent, I didn’t feel like I belonged. I grew up in a small town in MN, 2006 people in the middle of a cornfield. I felt like I had no way out. As humans, we yearn to BELONG. It is scientifically in our DNA.
The emotional trauma of not feeling like you had good friends or people that really understand you can be devastating. Unbeknownst to me at the time, what I did was manufacture synthetic happiness. I did that by dreaming big about the world beyond the scope of my small town. My way out of a place I didn’t feel like I fit in was law school. I thought that if I made enough money, I would have more choices. I wasn’t necessarily wrong, and I did achieve my dream of becoming a lawyer - but I had this tug on me; there was something else.
As Dr. Daniel Gilbert puts it, “...we have within us the capacity to manufacture the very commodity we are constantly chasing when we choose experience” over materiality. That commodity is happiness, and with practice, he says, we can find more happiness through choice than we ever will through selfish pursuits and material acquisition.
I found out that being a lawyer didn’t make me happy. So while it was a means to an end, to a chapter of life closed, I stopped. I mean, now, I’m here, with you, talking about happiness, which completely lights my hair on fire.
Therefore, if happiness is not a thing, but a state of mind, then we can create synthetic happiness. Now, I am not talking about toxic positivity, which is a whole different thing and one we don’t have time for today. What I am saying is that happiness science indicates that we can synthesize happiness - we don’t have to wait for happiness to happen to us, and we don’t have to chase it or find it like some magical rainbow where you have to shake down some poor leprechaun. Instead, you can create it yourself. Tune in tomorrow to learn how!
Life is heavy enough, we shouldn’t have to search for happiness. Get the exclusive happiness email, the happiest email in your inbox, delivered with a smile twice a month. https://www.katiejefcoat.com/email
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/