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Do you feel overwhelmed with your todo list? Is "creating fulfilling happiness" missing from that list? Everyday Happiness with Katie Jefcoat is here to help you. In 2-minutes a day, over time, you’ll discover how to reduce overwhelm and create lasting happiness through Katie’s signature method of Intentional Margins, happiness science, and musings about life. Start your day with a positive mindset. Many of us can get deep in the feeling of overwhelm. The anxiety of our own ambition can weigh heavily on our thoughts and emotions. We lay down and close our eyes at night and our chest begins to feel heavy. More items on the to-do list than the day before. How will we ever going to get off the hamster wheel of to-dos? When are we going to start living life for more than the hustle? As a recovering lawyer and passion driven entrepreneur, Katie knew something had to change. What she found is that you can have harmony, be intentionally productive and create massive impact, all at the same time - without feeling guilty. So she asked herself a simple question: "How can I get off the hamster wheel and how can I show others how to do the same? She knew she'd had a system for herself, but she’d never put it into defining words. On August 15, 2019, she sat down at her dining room table with her friend Jenna (her business bestie). Post-It notes covering the table. This is where she first defined the concept of Intentional Margins. What are Intentional Margins? INTENTIONAL MARGINS™ (n): A buffer of space and time to create harmony between your to-do’s and your priorities. Now you can get the support you need to manage your overwhelm, one little tip at a time. Regardless of the industry, Everyday Happiness blends inspiration with a pragmatic approach to finding Harmony. You'll be encouraged to throw “balance” out the window for a more achievable approach called harmony. Through Intentional Margins™, you'll be encouraged to develop what harmony means to you, by identifying your priorities at work and at home. Every day, we'll end the podcast help you feel equipped to jump off the hamster wheel of overwhelm and go out there and crush your day. --About the Host-- Katie Jefcoat is a community curator, speaker, author and motivator who supports ambitious women (and a few good men) move from feeling hectic to harmonious. As a recovering trial lawyer, she knows first hand what it feels like to have a demanding job. As an entrepreneur with a passion that lights her hair on fire and a busy family she’s in the thick of it with you. Many people strive for balance and think overwhelm is just a part of life. Sadly, the hustle culture and our never-ending to-do list is creating a life where our priorities are getting the leftover scraps of time. Katie introduces people to what she calls - Intentional Margins™ - a kind of life in which they reduce randomness, create harmony between their to-dos and their priorities and intentionally enjoy the meaningful parts of life - without feeling guilty. Without exposure to a different way, we remain stuck on the hamster wheel of to-dos and never find the “balance” we yearn for. Katie works diligently to expose her community to different ways of doing things, because she fundamentally believes we deserve to make time for our priorities. We deserve to live a life of harmony. And it’s within our control to create it. Katie curates a smorgasbord of content related to managing your calendar, handling overwhelm, setting boundaries, reducing randomness, saying no, self-care, the power of your choices, and more in her Intentional Margins™ Membership Community -- which she calls the coziest virtual coffee shop (on Facebook). Connect and learn more at www.katiejefcoat.com.
Episodes
Thursday Mar 16, 2023
Thursday Mar 16, 2023
An unfortunate reality of happiness practices is that sometimes people can go too far and fall into the toxic positivity trap. Today, we discuss how to prioritize emotional validation over toxic positivity and why it is important.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and today I was reading a fascinating article from Very Well Mind, and it led me to want to talk to you about utilizing emotional validation over toxic positivity. First, let’s break it down.
Toxic positivity is forced positive thinking when the situation isn’t appropriate. Unlike general positivity, which encourages us to notice the good things in life, toxic positivity comes at the risk of denying our actual emotions or the emotions of others. An example would be when a friend is telling you that they lost their job, and you respond with “look at the bright side” or “everything happens for a reason.” What happens here is that the person sharing is invalidated in their feelings of sadness, anger, or guilt.
The article explains that emotional validation is when people allow themselves and others to experience their feelings in their entirety and acknowledge that having negative emotions is both real and important. By taking the time to learn, understand, and accept our own emotions and experiences, and those of others, we can genuinely process what is going on. Toxic positivity pushes those feelings aside, never allowing them to be processed, and often making someone feel even worse for having them in the first place.
So, how can we practice emotional validation over toxic positivity?
First, when someone is telling you about a hardship, take a moment to reflect on what they have said and acknowledge their pain. People want to be listened to; they don’t always need an “it’s gonna be okay” immediate response. Start by responding with something like “I understand that you feel sad/upset/angry” to acknowledge their emotions.
Second, be supportive and encourage them to elaborate. We never know what’s going on in someone else’s mind, so encouraging them to be honest and reflect on the situation and their feelings is critical.
Lastly, validate what they are feeling. Validating someone’s emotions, even negative ones, can go a long way in their recovery process. By saying things like “I see why you feel that way” and “that sounds super tough,” you can support them in their emotional processing. Now, this doesn’t mean to egg them on; it is simply to acknowledge that what they feel is valid.
Until next time, remember that kindness is contagious. Spread a little joy in the world by doing something nice for someone.
Life is heavy enough, we shouldn’t have to search for happiness. Get the exclusive happiness email, the happiest email in your inbox, delivered with a smile twice a month. https://www.katiejefcoat.com/email
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
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