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Do you feel overwhelmed with your todo list? Is "creating fulfilling happiness" missing from that list? Everyday Happiness with Katie Jefcoat is here to help you. In 2-minutes a day, over time, you’ll discover how to reduce overwhelm and create lasting happiness through Katie’s signature method of Intentional Margins, happiness science, and musings about life. Start your day with a positive mindset. Many of us can get deep in the feeling of overwhelm. The anxiety of our own ambition can weigh heavily on our thoughts and emotions. We lay down and close our eyes at night and our chest begins to feel heavy. More items on the to-do list than the day before. How will we ever going to get off the hamster wheel of to-dos? When are we going to start living life for more than the hustle? As a recovering lawyer and passion driven entrepreneur, Katie knew something had to change. What she found is that you can have harmony, be intentionally productive and create massive impact, all at the same time - without feeling guilty. So she asked herself a simple question: "How can I get off the hamster wheel and how can I show others how to do the same? She knew she'd had a system for herself, but she’d never put it into defining words. On August 15, 2019, she sat down at her dining room table with her friend Jenna (her business bestie). Post-It notes covering the table. This is where she first defined the concept of Intentional Margins. What are Intentional Margins? INTENTIONAL MARGINS™ (n): A buffer of space and time to create harmony between your to-do’s and your priorities. Now you can get the support you need to manage your overwhelm, one little tip at a time. Regardless of the industry, Everyday Happiness blends inspiration with a pragmatic approach to finding Harmony. You'll be encouraged to throw “balance” out the window for a more achievable approach called harmony. Through Intentional Margins™, you'll be encouraged to develop what harmony means to you, by identifying your priorities at work and at home. Every day, we'll end the podcast help you feel equipped to jump off the hamster wheel of overwhelm and go out there and crush your day. --About the Host-- Katie Jefcoat is a community curator, speaker, author and motivator who supports ambitious women (and a few good men) move from feeling hectic to harmonious. As a recovering trial lawyer, she knows first hand what it feels like to have a demanding job. As an entrepreneur with a passion that lights her hair on fire and a busy family she’s in the thick of it with you. Many people strive for balance and think overwhelm is just a part of life. Sadly, the hustle culture and our never-ending to-do list is creating a life where our priorities are getting the leftover scraps of time. Katie introduces people to what she calls - Intentional Margins™ - a kind of life in which they reduce randomness, create harmony between their to-dos and their priorities and intentionally enjoy the meaningful parts of life - without feeling guilty. Without exposure to a different way, we remain stuck on the hamster wheel of to-dos and never find the “balance” we yearn for. Katie works diligently to expose her community to different ways of doing things, because she fundamentally believes we deserve to make time for our priorities. We deserve to live a life of harmony. And it’s within our control to create it. Katie curates a smorgasbord of content related to managing your calendar, handling overwhelm, setting boundaries, reducing randomness, saying no, self-care, the power of your choices, and more in her Intentional Margins™ Membership Community -- which she calls the coziest virtual coffee shop (on Facebook). Connect and learn more at www.katiejefcoat.com.
Episodes
Monday Sep 19, 2022
475-Stop the Overthinking
Monday Sep 19, 2022
Monday Sep 19, 2022
Is your mind buzzing with negative thoughts that sting over and over again? The cycle of overthinking is brutal. Tune in today to learn how you can stop the overthinking!
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in about 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat, and today I want to talk to you about overthinking. How many times a day are you getting caught in a negative feedback loop of rumination? It’s like this one thought is a wasp bouncing around in your head, stinging you over and over with no relief.
I often feel it at night when I am trying to sleep. I get unnecessary thoughts stuck in my head like "I can't believe my friend said that," "why did I eat that second brownie when I'm trying to avoid sugar this week," or even "is my life path bringing me all of the happiness I desire." It is unproductive, unhealthy, and prevents me from getting my much-desired sleep, and you all know how I feel about sleep.
When re-reading Sonya Lyubomirsky’s book The How of Happiness, I came back across her ideas on overthinking. While it is good to be aware of our feelings and investigate how and why we respond to specific triggers, Sonya discussed that while many believe turning one’s thoughts inward helps with self-reflection, there are limits and caveats.
First, one should avoid ruminating when they are feeling sad or distraught. When you are already in this state of unhappiness, adding unnecessary thoughts can leave you feeling "besieged, powerless, self-critical, pessimistic, and generally negatively biased." The more you think, the further you go in this downward spiral of self-doubt and helplessness. Your views of the world and yourself end up becoming distorted, and the subsequent opinions you form are inaccurate.
Additionally, even if you aren’t in a negative emotional state when you start overthinking, you can get there quite quickly. Overthinking can usher in negative biased thoughts and skew one's account of past actions, causing motivation to lessen and interfering with problem-solving and concentration.
So, what can you do to stop overthinking? I'll be honest; pulling yourself out can be tricky, but distraction is honestly one of the best answers. Of course, there will be times when we must experience negative aspects of life to process them but not overthink them. When you get to that overthinking stage, I suggest getting involved in an activity that pulls all your attention. For example, it could be:
- Watching a movie
- Playing a game
- Listening to a podcast
- Cooking a new recipe
- Hanging out with your kids
- Writing a gratitude list
- Completing a random act of kindness
- Or anything else that sucks up enough of your attention that there is no more room for negative thoughts.
Personally, when I catch myself in the overthinking mindset I like to do 10 jumping jacks and maybe even a few high kicks in place, something to completely change my thought cycle. I also tell myself, if it’s appropriate, the lesson from Brene’ Brown which is the sentence: “The story I’m making up in my head is …” and then I add, but that might not actually be the other person’s story.” This kind of reminds me that I can get off track when I overthink a situation.
Before we sign off, I ask that you share your overthinking distraction in a review or a DM! I always enjoy learning other creative methods from awesome people like you.
And remember, kindness is contagious! Go out into the world and be kind to someone today.
And, if you are enjoying this podcast, smash the subscribe button and leave a 5-star review. It helps us spread more kindness into the world and we invite you to be a part of that.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
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