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Do you feel overwhelmed with your todo list? Is "creating fulfilling happiness" missing from that list? Everyday Happiness with Katie Jefcoat is here to help you. In 2-minutes a day, over time, you’ll discover how to reduce overwhelm and create lasting happiness through Katie’s signature method of Intentional Margins, happiness science, and musings about life. Start your day with a positive mindset. Many of us can get deep in the feeling of overwhelm. The anxiety of our own ambition can weigh heavily on our thoughts and emotions. We lay down and close our eyes at night and our chest begins to feel heavy. More items on the to-do list than the day before. How will we ever going to get off the hamster wheel of to-dos? When are we going to start living life for more than the hustle? As a recovering lawyer and passion driven entrepreneur, Katie knew something had to change. What she found is that you can have harmony, be intentionally productive and create massive impact, all at the same time - without feeling guilty. So she asked herself a simple question: "How can I get off the hamster wheel and how can I show others how to do the same? She knew she'd had a system for herself, but she’d never put it into defining words. On August 15, 2019, she sat down at her dining room table with her friend Jenna (her business bestie). Post-It notes covering the table. This is where she first defined the concept of Intentional Margins. What are Intentional Margins? INTENTIONAL MARGINS™ (n): A buffer of space and time to create harmony between your to-do’s and your priorities. Now you can get the support you need to manage your overwhelm, one little tip at a time. Regardless of the industry, Everyday Happiness blends inspiration with a pragmatic approach to finding Harmony. You'll be encouraged to throw “balance” out the window for a more achievable approach called harmony. Through Intentional Margins™, you'll be encouraged to develop what harmony means to you, by identifying your priorities at work and at home. Every day, we'll end the podcast help you feel equipped to jump off the hamster wheel of overwhelm and go out there and crush your day. --About the Host-- Katie Jefcoat is a community curator, speaker, author and motivator who supports ambitious women (and a few good men) move from feeling hectic to harmonious. As a recovering trial lawyer, she knows first hand what it feels like to have a demanding job. As an entrepreneur with a passion that lights her hair on fire and a busy family she’s in the thick of it with you. Many people strive for balance and think overwhelm is just a part of life. Sadly, the hustle culture and our never-ending to-do list is creating a life where our priorities are getting the leftover scraps of time. Katie introduces people to what she calls - Intentional Margins™ - a kind of life in which they reduce randomness, create harmony between their to-dos and their priorities and intentionally enjoy the meaningful parts of life - without feeling guilty. Without exposure to a different way, we remain stuck on the hamster wheel of to-dos and never find the “balance” we yearn for. Katie works diligently to expose her community to different ways of doing things, because she fundamentally believes we deserve to make time for our priorities. We deserve to live a life of harmony. And it’s within our control to create it. Katie curates a smorgasbord of content related to managing your calendar, handling overwhelm, setting boundaries, reducing randomness, saying no, self-care, the power of your choices, and more in her Intentional Margins™ Membership Community -- which she calls the coziest virtual coffee shop (on Facebook). Connect and learn more at www.katiejefcoat.com.
Episodes
Monday Jan 24, 2022
Monday Jan 24, 2022
In this episode we talk about the right way to set boundaries and how we might be doing it all wrong.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’m here today to chat about boundaries. So many of us have this misconception that I tell you how you need to behave around me and that is setting a boundary. For example, I tell you “don’t yell at me”. This is me trying to control your behavior to set a boundary for myself.
Friends, we do this all the time. And it is 100% backwards. And we wonder why we think people do not respect our boundaries.
That is not actually a boundary. Me, telling you how I want you to behave around me is not me setting a boundary.
We can’t control others’ behavior - it’s a request.
I request that you not yell at me when you are angry, its’ not you can’t yell at me. It’s what am I willing to endure. It’s my request that you not yell at me.
My boundary with myself. What I am I going to do if this person yells at me. I will say “hey, I am going to leave this conversation” my personal boundary has been breached.
Maybe your boundary is that you don’t want to be in a relationship with this person. Whatever the boundary is, it’s with yourself. You hold the boundary for yourself.
The person can yell, fly off the handle and you can say. My boundary is that I won’t engage when I feel yelled at, I am going to another room. I am leaving the space. I am hanging up the phone right now.
Maybe you have or you want to have a boundary that you don’t engage in political conversations with certain people. You know how they end and frankly, you’re exhausted, it doesn’t help your mental health and it’s not a productive conversation. You set a boundary, not that they can’t bring up politics around you. But, when they do, you firmly and calmly say, “I have a personal boundary that I won’t engage in political discussions and I feel like this comment is going down that road. Before I regret something, I need to hang up the phone. Good bye.” Full stop.
What I find is that pretty soon, those people self-regulate and that boundary is calmly and respectfully solidified between the parties.
Look, this is all pie in the sky right, personalities are inconsistent and sometimes irrational, but we need something to aim for and I hope this helps you think of boundaries to support your happiness.
Of course, we want to know what boundaries you are setting and how that’s going. So let us know on social @everydayhappinesswithkatie.
Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness
And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram
Links: https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/
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